Attraction
by jinxcharm
Summary: It was the phone call that would change everything. Ellie Nash thought she'd closed that chapter of her life months ago. But when the ringing of the phone in the early hours of the morning, Sean Cameron managed to insert himself back into her hectic life. But what could Sean have to say to her after all this time?
1. Chapter 1: Crush

Just for the record, I don't own Degrassi in any way, shape, or form.

Set just before Weddings, Parties, and Anything;

Part 1: Crush

Ellie Nash ran a hand through her long red hair as she lounged on the couch in the garage that Downtown Sasquatch practiced in, watching Marco set up his guitar and waiting for the remaining band members to arrive. Marco finally got the guitar set up and set it gingerly down before making his way to the couch. Ellie moved her feet for Marco to plop down beside her before replacing her feet in his lap. "Why are the guys always so late?" Marco mused. Ellie laughed slightly and shrugged.

"Maybe they have better things to do?" She turned her head and distantly gazed at the ground, fidgeting with her fingers.

"El, what's wrong?" Marco asked, throwing his best friend a concerned glance. Ellie smiled weakly and shrugged, no happiness ever reaching her eyes. "Don't tell me: guy problems. Wait, let me rephrase that: Craig problems."

"Whatever Marco, I don't know what you're talking about." She looked away quickly, too quickly; it gave her away.

"El, it's pretty obvious. Every time Craig talks, your face lights up, and you give him these goo-goo eyes. I'm surprised I haven't seen any drool dripping from your mouth." Marco made a funny face and pretended to wipe saliva from his mouth, eliciting a real laugh from Ellie, the first real laugh he'd heard from her all week.

"Okay, so maybe I like Craig a little, but it's not like I could ever tell him that."

"Why not?"

Ellie sighed. "Because he would never wanna be with someone like me. I'm just a freak."

"El, you're amazing. You're beautiful and sweet, and Craig Manning would be the luckiest guy on the planet if he were with you." Marco took Ellie's hand in his own and gave it a squeeze for support. Ellie smiled and nodded. Just then Jimmy and Craig entered into the garage.

"Aw did we miss a Marco/Ellie moment?" Jimmy asked. The two just smiled and said nothing.

"Come on guys, we've got to get practicing. Downtown Sasquatch has a gig coming up soon, and we need to be ready." Ellie swallowed hard as his voice spoke, rhythmically as if music was always in him. Craig Manning smiled at Ellie as he walked towards the couch, guitar in hand. He held out his other hand to her. She took it, trying to keep a calm composure as she felt a shock of electricity flood her body. She stared into his eyes for a moment, a lazy grin appearing on her face.

"Whatever you say," she told him. She was counting the seconds their hands were intertwined. 1…2…3…and then it was gone. And she was left wondering whether Craig had felt the electricity too. Ellie turned and sighed to herself before taking her place at the drums.

"Okay guys," Craig started, taking his place in the front, "1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4!"

Ellie sighed as she opened her locker to get her bag. School had been a slow, boring day, one that had dragged on painfully for all those involved. But at least it was Friday. She couldn't wait to meet up with Marco and discuss their weekend plans. She needed a fun, refreshing weekend. She thrust her bag on her shoulder and slammed her locker, only to find Craig Manning leaning up against the next locker, looking at her. "Hey Craig," Ellie said.

"Hey El, listen I just wanted to say that you were awesome on the drums yesterday at practice." Ellie laughed as she and Craig walked in step down the hallway.

"Craig you don't have to lie to me. You can be honest. I know I'm not the best drummer. I'm no Spinner."

"Hey El, you being no Spinner is a good thing. We don't need someone like Spinner. We need someone like you. And you are awesome on the drums. I would never lie to you El. NEVER, got it ok?" Ellie smiled and looked down, fighting the urge to lean into him.

"So what is the great Craig Manning doing over the weekend?"

"Nothing really. Probably just practicing with the band and writing some music stuff."

"Craig do you ever stop doing stuff for the band?" She laughed.

"I just love it so much you know. Music is my passion."

"I understand. And it should be Craig. You are an amazing musician. I have no doubt that you're going to be famous." Craig stopped and looked at her, a smile on his face.

"Do you really mean that?"

"Of course I do, and when you do become famous, don't forget all the little people like me." She laughed and he laughed, before his face grew serious.

"I could never forget you Ellie." He hugged her. "Okay, I'll see you at practice El. Don't do anything drastic over the weekend. Can't have my best drummer hurting her drumming hands." She smirked as he continued past the doors and around the corner. Ellie just stood there replaying that last comment in her head. _I could never forget you Ellie. I could never forget you Ellie. I could never forget you Ellie. _She opened the door and found Marco waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs. She sat down next to him, a hazy look across her face.

"Woah, what happened to you? Did Craig do something that was absolutely amazing?" He chuckled and added dramatic flair to the last part. She rolled her eyes and playfully pushed Marco before laying her head on his shoulder.

"Only make me want him more."

It was official: She was falling in love with Craig Manning


	2. Chapter 2: Tears

Once again, just to reiterate: I don't own Degrassi.

Part 2: Tears

Marco and Ellie had long since settled down on Marco's couch and had just finished watching a movie. Ellie still wasn't ready to go home to her mom. So they just sat there, lounging and talking about school and things. Currently, Marco was babbling on about Ms. Kwan. "And I can't believe she actually assigned us this English Paper. I mean I love Romeo and Juliet as much as the next person, but even I don't have 900 words to say about it. This is going to be a damper on my weekend, and –"

"I think I'm going to tell him." Ellie interjection, having drifted into her own thoughts. Marco looked at her for a second, processing the words she'd cut him off with.

"Tell who what El?"

"I think I'm going to tell him how I feel." She nodded, turning the idea around and around in her head, and the longer she toyed with the idea, the more she came to like it, the more it felt right.

"Wait, Craig? You're going to tell Craig?"

"Yeah, do you think I should? Is that a good plan, or am I just losing my sanity and my ability to think rationally?" She shook her head, starting to doubt herself.

"No, no El, I think it's a great plan. I think it's definitely the right thing to do, that way you and Craig can be Degrassi's cutest couple."

"Aren't you getting a little ahead of yourself? I mean I don't even know if he likes me."

"El, I've seen the way Craig looks at you. He likes you. I know he does."

"Really? Like you're not just saying that?" Marco smiled.

"No El, I'm not just saying that. I have no doubt that you and Craig will make an amazing couple. So when are you gonna tell him?"

"I don't know. I was thinking tomorrow, but I don't wanna do it at school. I want it to be private, just us." Marco's head darted to the clock.

"You know El, it's not really that late. You could probably go see him right now and tell him. That way, you two are sure to be alone." Ellie turned her head to look at the clock also before looking back at Marco.

"Marco, you're a genius." She stood quickly and pulled Marco up off the couch where he hugged her. "Isn't this the moment where you wish me good luck or something?" She giggled.

"Remember Craig has it bad for you. You don't need luck."

"Oh gosh, I hope you're right."

"Have I ever been wrong? Don't answer that. But yeah go find Craig." Ellie smiled and nodded before turning around and heading for the door. "Hey El," he called, stopping her in the doorway. She looked at him, smiling, but slightly puzzled. "Good luck." Her smiled widened and she walked out the door.

Ellie decided that Craig would probably be in the garage, working on music for the band, because she couldn't imagine him doing anything else really. Music was Craig's life. It was a large fraction of his soul. Ellie stood around the corner for a good five minutes, walking in place and wringing her hands in nervousness. Oh she had to get a grip. It was just Craig after all, just amazing, sweet, hot Craig. No big deal. All she was going to do was reveal that she was falling in love with the boy. Nothing to worry about right? She took a breath before going around the corner and throwing the garage door open without stopping to think, fearing she'd chicken out. "Craig I need to talk to you. Oh," She stopped in the doorway, hand grasping the doorknob. Craig was in the garage, but he wasn't alone. Pulling away from him was none other than Manny Santos. "I'm sorry, I'll just go." Ellie turned on her heels and started out. Craig stood up quickly.

"Hold on El, what's up? What's wrong?"

Ellie made a quick look at Manny Santos, who had a smirk on her face and evil in her eyes. The look she was giving Ellie for interrupting her and Craig's moment truly brought the words if looks could kill to mind. It was truly a death stare.

"Oh it's nothing. I can just talk to you about it tomorrow. Have a nice night…you…two." She hurried away back down the street.

"El wait! El! Ellie!" But she just kept walking. He turned back to Manny. "I think I should go after her. She looked upset." Craig reached for his jacket, but Manny's hands stopped him.

"No, you know, she did say it was nothing important. She can always tell you tomorrow. Besides, if you go after her now, you won't be able to stay here with me." She blinked and looked at Craig under her thick, black eyelashes. Craig faltered for just a minute before dropping his jacket and making his decision instantly.

Ellie unlocked her door and crept passed her mom, who'd passed out long before from too many bottles of liquor. She went up to her room and crawled under the sheets, hoping to forget that miserable moment. Instead she thought about it constantly, and eventually tears welled up in her eyes and she couldn't hold them back any longer. She cried and cried and cried. It seemed the tears would never stop.

She knew her phone rang. She heard it go off several times. But she couldn't bring herself to reach over and pick up her cellphone. All her strength had dissipated, and she was a weak, fragile girl. Her heart was breaking and she didn't want to share that with anyone at the moment. But eventually someone showed up, banging on the door outside. It was Marco. Ellie knew he wouldn't go away, so she got up and stumbled downstairs to open the door. He stood there looking at her messy hair and red, tear-stained face. His mouth opened and he flung his arms around her in a tight hug. They stood there in the door, hugging each other tightly. Then they went upstairs. Ellie collapsed on the bed. Marco laid down beside her. "I'm sorry El. I'm sorry that this happened."

"It's not your fault Marco. It's mine. I was stupid to think that Craig would like me." Tears were creeping back up.

"No El. Don't feel like that. Craig's losing out. You are one of the most spectacular people I've ever met, and you are going to make someone so happy one day. And if Craig isn't smart enough to see how amazing you two could be, then he isn't worth your time."

"You know, I'm sure there's going to come a point when I'm going to want to hear all of this junk, but I don't think now is the time. I really appreciate it, I do, Marco, but I'm emotionally exhausted. I just need to go to sleep." She said, trying to keep a straight face.

"Yeah no, yeah, I totally get it Ellie. I'll just go." He stood up to leave.

"Marco?" He turned towards her.

"Yeah El?"

"Will you stay with me tonight? I don't wanna be alone. I might do something if I'm left alone."

"Like Cut?" She nodded, and Marco gave a weak, but somewhat troubled smile. "Yeah El, I'll stay with you." He laid back down on the bed next to her and took her hand.

"You know Marco, I love you." Ellie sniffled.

"I love you too El." Ellie wiped her eyes and rolled over, trying to find sleep, but she found tears instead. She knew that Marco wouldn't ever go to sleep with her crying like that, so she forced her body to stop, just to be still, just to be numb in order for her to just find sleep, for both her and Marco's sake. Eventually the two of them drifted off in well-needed slumber.

It was 3 AM when Ellie woke up to the sound of her cellphone ringing. She rubbed her eyes before remembering that Marco was asleep next to her. She jumped up and grabbed the phone, pressing the call button and pulling it to her ear as she got up and walked to the next room so Marco could sleep peacefully. "Hello?"

"Hey El." Ellie almost dropped the phone at the sound of the voice on the other end. It couldn't be, but somehow it was. Ellie was listening to the voice of Sean Cameron.


	3. Chapter 3: Your Call

Just to repeat: I don't own Degrassi in any way.

Chapter 3: Your Call

"Sean ?" Ellie breathed.

"Yeah El, it's me." She exhaled sharply into the phone and ran a hand through her hair. It had been so long since she'd heard his voice. In fact, the last time she'd heard his voice, he'd told her that he loved her. In that first instant, it was kind of nice to hear his voice again, but after that initial feeling, that nice feeling melded into one of pain and disgust. It had been so long. The guy who was supposed to love her hadn't called since he'd left. All those days she'd spent waiting to hear from him. Soon the days melded to weeks and the weeks turned into a couple of months, and soon she couldn't bear to sit by the phone waiting anymore. She began to dissociate him from her life little by little, his name slowly fading from her lips with each passing day, until she didn't say it anymore. She hadn't said it until just then, and it felt odd in her mouth, a strange sensation she'd thought she'd forgotten. "El, are you there?"

"Give me one good reason not to hang up," she said, venom surfacing in her words.

"El, please just listen to me. I need to talk to you."

"Yeah, well then talk, and talk fast. I'm still waiting on that reason." She heard a heavy sigh from the other end, but she didn't break her composure. She just stood there, rigid, waiting. There was silence for a few moments before he began.

"Ellie, I don't know how things got all messed up. It just happened. I thought I was in control of everything, but things just kept spinning out of control, faster and faster, and soon I didn't know who I was or what I was doing. I never….. I never meant to hurt you."

"But that didn't stop you, did it?" She whispered.

"Ellie – "

"Sean, I have to go."

"NO ELLIE, don't hang up, don't hang up. I'm sorry." Ellie stopped short of hanging up, and resisted the urge to cry.

"Sorry? You're sorry!" She snapped. "Sean you didn't call me or visit or even return my calls!"

"I know I'm sor –"

"The last time I saw you or talked to you, I left you in Wasaga, and do you know what you said to me? You told me you loved me! You said you loved me, but you didn't! Because if you did, you would've called! I waited for you. God I'm so stupid!"

"No El, you're not!" Sean shook his head in frustration.

"You said you loved me," She shook her own head.

"But I did. I do. I still love you El."

"No. Stop. JUST STOP. Sean, I have to go. I don't think you should call anymore."

"NO El, please don't. Please just, don't – " She pulled the phone from her ear and ended the call. " – hang up." Sean breathed into the phone, but it was too late. He pulled his own phone away from his ears and sighed. He sat on the floor against a wall in his room. He stared at his phone for a few moments before thrusting it across the room in anger. He couldn't make her understand, but she had to know. She had to know.

Ellie sat her phone down on the nearest piece of furniture, and feverishly wiped at the tears rolling down her cheeks. Why was she crying? It's not like Sean Cameron mattered anymore anyway. She was completely over him. She'd banished him from her life, or so she'd thought. With each tear she wiped away, she knew that she was still hurt. She could accept that: Sean had hurt her. But she'd put him out of her memory, and with that one stupid phone call, he'd managed to worm him way back into her life. And she'd let him. That realization unnerved her. Why did she let him do this to her?

Suddenly, a door opened behind her and Marco appeared, wiping his eyes sleepily. "El, is that you?" He took in the sight of her tear-stained face and shaking hands, and suddenly he was wide awake. "Woah, El, hey come here." He walked to her and pulled her into a hug. "Hey, everything's going to be alright." He felt her shoulders heaving up and down as she sobbed into his shoulder. Eventually, he held tight to her wrist and arm and walked her back to the bed and let her lay down. She clutched the pillow tightly and sobbed some into it. Marco just sat on the edge of the bed and watched her, stroking her hair. He was worried about her. Then finally, it seemed that she had exhausted herself. The shaking slowly stopped, as did the sobbing, and eventually Ellie was quiet and still, except for the even breathing of her sleep.

Marco sighed, visibly relieved. He didn't know what had come over her. He'd have to ask her tomorrow. But for now, he lay down next to her and took her hand before slowly drifting back off to sleep.

Ellie woke up the next morning with an awful headache, the kind of headache that you can only get after you've spent a long time crying. She rubbed the side of her head, willing the pain to go away, but it was no use. She sighed and kicked her feet off the side of the bed, sitting up. That's when she looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand. "OH MY GOSH, WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE FOR SCHOOL! Marco wake up!" She turned to the other side of the bed to wake Marco only to find him sitting on the floor, looking up at her. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out.

"El, what is going on? I woke up in the middle of the night crying your eyes out. You were hysterical. I've never been so afraid for you. You…weren't you, and that scares me El. Now you have to tell me what happened. Are you still messed up about Craig, because if that's what all this is about, I can tell you right now he's not worth it? You don't have to put yourself through all of that over someone like Craig Manning." Ellie looked down.

"It's not Craig."

"Then what is it?"

"It's – " Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

"Eleanor, please tell me you're almost ready for school." Her mother flung the door open, looking disheveled and out of it, probably from a long night of drinking and passing out. Her mother looked from her to Marco. "Eleanor, what is this? Did he stay the night?" Marco shot up and looked at Ellie, who looked frozen like a deer in headlights. Marco looked around and grabbed Ellie's notebook off the floor.

"Hello Mrs. Nash. We were up late studying for our English exam today. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to stay over so late. We both just kind of fell asleep." Mrs. Nash looked from Ellie to Marco and then at the clock.

"Okay, I have to go. I'm going to be late for work. We'll talk about this later Eleanor. Please just hurry up and get to school!" She turned around and rushed down the stairs. A few moments later, a door slammed closed.

Ellie started grabbing books and shoving them into her bag. Marco handed her the notebook he'd picked up. "Don't think I'm letting you off the hook. We'll finish talking about this later. But right now we need to get to school. If I'm late one more time, I think Kwan will kill me. I'll be wasting away in detention for sure." Ellie gave a small smile, knowing full well Marco intended to keep his word.


	4. Chapter 4: Every Time It Rains

I don't own Degrassi. :)

Chapter 4: Every Time It Rains

School dragged on in the worst possible way. All day her teachers droned on and on, not that Ellie heard them. All she could hear was Sean's voice echoing in her head. _I still love you El. I still love you. I still love you._ The words thumped in her brain, through her veins, in her heart, quickening its pace. He consumed her thoughts, and it was beginning to drive her insane with wonderment: all the things that could've been, all the things that never were, all the words she'd left unsaid, all the words she was sure he had left to say. She couldn't concentrate on anything else. She'd become lost in all the memories, until the bell sounded and ruined the illusion she'd buried herself in. She gathered up her books and left the classroom, not quite shaking Sean from her head.

She quickly darted down the hallway towards the exit. She successfully evaded Marco all day, but knew that her luck was quickly running out. It was the end of the day, and he'd be looking for her, wanting an explanation, an answer to his question, an answer that she couldn't quite wrap her head around. She pushed her way through the crowd of students and barreled out the door. She rushed off of school grounds and around the corner, finally stopping to take a breath of relief. At least she would have about an hour or so to collect herself before Marco came searching for answers. Content that she was alone for now, she turned and began a slow walk home, letting the breeze blow on her face and through her hair; she needed the air.

She lost her sense of time, only regaining it when she looked up and realized she was almost home. Her house was just around the corner. She hurried around it, wanting the sweet solitude of the darkness of her room. Sweet solitude would just have to wait, because she stopped dead in her tracks. He was sitting on her doorstep. He was waiting for her. _I still love you El._ Sean Cameron in the flesh. He looked almost the same as he did on the day they said goodbye, just a little older, as if the shooting had taken a toll on him. She wanted to turn around and run away, back to find Marco, back away from this here and now, but it wouldn't do any good. He'd seen her. He was looking at her. They'd locked eyes. She could see her name on his lips as he whispered it into the air in between them.

She just stood there, so he got up and began walking toward her. Ellie turned away and sighed, looking up quickly at the sky. It had turned dark, as if rain could pour at any time, Ironic. She suddenly wondered whether the weather was in tuned with her emotions. "El," She heard him say. He was close now, probably just right behind her.

"Sean, what are you doing here?" She turned around to look at him and found him closer than she'd expected. There was little room between them.

"I came to see you." There was an earnest look in his eyes that made her breath quicken slightly. She turned away again, trying to keep herself in control. He was making her increasingly nervous.

"Why Sean?"

"I told you, because I still love you. And you obviously weren't going to take my calls, which I guess I deserve, but I had to talk to you. I had to see you."

"Well I guess I just don't understand Sean. You seemed to be fine with completely ignoring me since you left. And then last night you call out of nowhere, out of the blue. And you try to tell me that you still love me. Well forgive me if I have a little bit of trouble believing it." She started walking away, but he followed her.

"I told you last night El, everything's gotten so messed up. It didn't go like I wanted it to go."

"Oh yeah, and how exactly did you want it to go?"

"I wanted to stay and work things out with my parents, but I didn't want to lose you in the process. I never meant for things to fall apart like they did. El, I'm sorry. If I could take it back I would."

"I called Sean. I called every day for a long time, longer than I should've. All you had to do was pick up the phone and tell me that you were ok, that you missed me, that you loved me, but you couldn't even spare the two minutes to make one of those phone calls. Do you know how much that hurt? Sean, you basically cut off all contact with me. You didn't even have the decency to break up with me." Her voice broke, causing Sean to wince at the sound.

"I didn't want to break up," he said softly.

"No, you just wanted to not talk to me, not see me, not think about me. Oh yeah, such a big improvement."

"Hey, I thought about you all the time! You keep trying to tell me that I didn't care, that I never thought about you, that I just threw you to the side. I didn't El. You just don't know. I couldn't handle it at the time! I loved you, but I couldn't fully love you until I worked through my shit. Okay? I was in no state to be in a relationship with anyone. But damn it, I thought about you constantly. I missed you. I wanted to pick up that phone and tell you all those things, but I couldn't bring myself to do it, because you deserved better than some high school screw-up like me!" Sean took some deep breaths after angrily spitting his confessions to her. Ellie took some deep breaths too, and turned to face Sean.

"Yeah, and what makes now any different?"

"I'm better now El. I'm not perfect by any means, but I'm better, and I'm not afraid anymore. I'm not afraid to love you, because I do El, I love you. I loved you then and I love you now."

"Sean, we're just not good for each other. There was a time when I thought we were, but we're really not. We can't ever seem to get things right. I mean look at us, here you are trying to convince me that you really love me, and we're fighting about the past. I just really don't think I'll ever be able to get over this. And we can't move forward if I'm still stuck on that. All our relationship would be is me expecting for you to hurt me and just waiting for the time and place. It just wouldn't work Sean. **We wouldn't work.**"

Sean ran in front of her and grabbed her arms, sending a warm electricity pulsing through Ellie's body. "Ellie, please, don't walk away from us. I know I hurt you. I hurt everyone. But I'm not that person anymore. Stop thinking about all the bad times, and think about the good times we had. Or better yet, don't even think about the past. Let's just start over. We can pretend like Wasaga never happened, like the shooting didn't happen. We can forget about it all. Just please El, I love you." The rain had started to fall in heavy droplets, covering everything, soaking Ellie's clothes. She pulled away from Sean and walked back towards her house.

"Sean it's not that simple. The past is the past. You can't forget about the past._ I_ can't forget about the past." She needed to get out of there. Sean was clouding her judgment. She was almost to her doorstep when she felt his hand grab her own and turn her around. Rain covered Sean's face as he pulled her closer to him, and pressed his lips against her own.

It was like she'd been set on fire, and the flames were rising higher and higher, burning brighter and brighter. She was standing in the middle of the freezing rain, but all she felt was warmth. It shot through her veins, making her feel more alive than she'd felt in months. She didn't want to respond, didn't want to put herself back out there for Sean to hurt again, but she couldn't think straight. His kiss was intoxicating her, and the only thing she could do was slide her arms around his neck and kiss him back. She pulled him back to the side of her house, where she could bring her body closer to his in an attempt to absorb as much of the warmth as possible. Then soon, her hand found the doorknob, cold and solid in a world that seemed so fluid and surreal right now. She looked to Sean, turned it open, and pulled him inside. She dragged him upstairs and to her bedroom, stopping to kiss him a few more times before entering. She closed the door, pressing her back into it, and pulled Sean in again. With each kiss, he erased a little bit of the hurt, and that's what she wanted, what she needed. So she kissed him again, trying to hold on to the warmth, the electricity, the spark and the flames. She didn't want to fight it anymore.


	5. Chapter 5: Promises, Promises

Just to repeat, I don't own Degrassi. I know. It makes me sad. :(

Chapter 5: Promises, Promises

"So where are you staying?" Ellie asked, as she snuggled closer to Sean. Sean ran his index finger across Ellie's hand gently before intertwining their hands.

"I got another apartment not too far from school."

"So how was Wasaga?" She asked. She could feel Sean's chest rise and fall as he sighed deeply.

"It was…needed. I worked through a lot of stuff while I was there. I got my life back on track, ya know. My parents and I have a better relationship now. And I'm generally…happier." He looked down at her as she looked up at him. "You're so beautiful." He pushed stray strands of her hair away from her face and let his hand linger on her cheek. "Let's not talk about Wasaga anymore. I wanna focus on the here and now."

"Why?"

"Because I'm here with you." Ellie smiled and leaned her head on Sean's shoulder. "So what's new with you?"

"I'm a drummer in a band." She heard Sean chuckle.

"Really? A drummer. That's…that's cool." He nodded slowly, a smile still apparent on his face.

Ellie laughed and playfully pushed Sean before intertwining their hands again. "Shut-up. I'm a decent drummer."

"No, I'm sure that you're amazing. So…is your father still gone?" Sean felt Ellie's grip tighten. He leaned up, pulling her into a sitting-up position too. "El, how's your mom?"

"She's – "

"Still passing out drunk every night? El, if she's unstable, you don't need to be here."

"No, Sean's she fine." Suddenly Sean jumped up from the bed and found his shirt on the floor. He pulled it over his head and headed for her door. "Sean, where are you going?" Ellie scooted off the bed and followed him down the stairs. "Sean don't leave!" Ellie expected Sean to walk out the door, but instead he turned and headed into the kitchen. "Sean what are you doing?"

Sean began throwing open cabinets, until he found what he was looking for. Ellie followed on his heels, finally understanding his intentions and knowing exactly what he would find. Sean looked at Ellie in disbelief. "You call that fine?" Inside the cabinet were several bottles of various alcohols. "El, she's unstable."

"Sean, she's really not that bad. She's barely drinking anymore. She's been weaning herself off of the alcohol ever since I told her about my cutting."

"Ellie, barely drinking and not drinking at all are two separate things. Barely drinking is still drinking, and I'm sorry, but your mom's track record is shit. Need I remind you that she set your house on fire?" Ellie turned away from Sean and walked toward the window in the kitchen.

"Trust me Sean, I don't need to be reminded." Sean rubbed his eyes with weariness before walking to her and wrapping his arms around her, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"Look, El, I'm not trying to upset you. I just…I worry about you. I'm scared that one day I'm gonna wake up, and something's going to have happened. I want…I need you to be okay." Ellie leaned her head gingerly against Sean's.

"Sean I'm fine," she whispered lightly.

"Promise me, that if things get bad here, if they're unsafe, that you'll get out of here. You're always welcome to stay with me, just so ya know El. I mean anytime, no matter what. Okay? Promise me." Ellie nodded her head, her eyes starting to get a little watery.

"I promise."

"Good." They stood there for a minute like that, staring out of the window. "Hey El."

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

Ellie smiled. "I love you too."

It was at this moment that there was a knock on the door. Ellie jerked out of Sean's arms in a panic, thinking it might be her mother and knowing how her mother hated Sean, but then sighed out of relief, realizing that her mom was still at work. Then she realized it must be Marco. She bit her lip nervously as she headed for the door. "Here we go," she whispered. She cracked the door halfway open, enough to see Marco standing there on her doorstep.

"Eleanor Nash, let me in this house right now. You have a hell of a lot of explaining to do." Marco looked irritated to say the least. It almost made her chuckle a little, but she knew this wasn't the time or the place. Marco was seriously worried about her, and now was the time for her to soothe his worries.

"Okay, Marco, come in." Ellie threw the door all the way open and let Marco come in. Marco took a few steps into the house before noticing the figure leaning against the doorway to the kitchen. Marco couldn't believe his eyes.

"Sean? Sean Cameron?" He looked back at Ellie before putting on a protective face. "What are you doing here? Come to break a few more pieces of her heart?" He remembered how much pain he'd put Ellie through while he'd been in Wasaga doing God knows what with God knows who. He remembered all the tears, all the heartbreak when she realized it was over. She hadn't been ready for it to be over, just like that. He'd been the one by Ellie's side, helping her pick up the pieces.

"I guess I deserve that, but to answer your question, no I'm not here to break her heart more. I'm here to help put it back together again." Marco looked from Sean to Ellie in disbelief. Marco grabbed Ellie by the arm and pulled her into the next room.

"You can't be serious. Really El? After all the shit he put you through? After all the time he spent in Wasaga while you were going through your own personal hell?"

"Marco, it's different this time. He's different this time. He loves me. He came back for me." Ellie pleaded. She needed Marco to understand. She needed him to know that things would work out this time.

"Ellie I'm sorry if I have a hard time believing this. He tore your heart to shreds. He broke you in the worst possible way. Do you even know what you're doing by putting yourself back out there for that?"

"Yeah, Marco I do. I'm falling deeper in love." Ellie whispered in such a small voice that Marco wasn't sure if he heard her right.

"What?"

"I love him Marco. I still love him." And then he saw it: that look on her face, that look she always reserved for Sean, that delicate, glazed, far off expression of utter lovesickness, and just like that he knew. It didn't matter how much Sean hurt her in the past or what Marco said to try and persuade her otherwise. This was a road she was taking again. She really loved him, and things would be different this time. She desperately believed that. Marco nodded.

"El, if he makes you happy, then I'm happy." He said, waving the white flag of surrender. "But I'm just warning you. I don't want to pick up the pieces if he breaks your heart again."

"He won't." Ellie smiled. She hugged Marco, and Marco took her appearance in. Then something caught his eye.

"Is your shirt on backwards?" Ellie looked down and then blushed wildly, wide-eyed. Marco chuckled and shook his head. "You guys didn't waste any time." He turned around and went back into the living room where Sean was waiting. Marco held out his arms and gave Sean a quick hug. "Bring it in. Let's give you a proper hello." When they were close enough, Marco whispered something just for Sean to hear, "Don't hurt her again. She won't be able to take it."

Sean nodded and said back to Marco, "I won't. I'm in it for the long run this time."

And with that, Sean and Ellie were now official and sort of public.


	6. Chapter 6: Blindsided

I don't own Degrassi.

Chapter 6: Blindsided

Marco sat on the couch in Craig Manning's garage, waiting on everyone else to arrive for band practice. He was lounging there when he heard a door shut. He looked back to see Craig rubbing his face in exhaustion. Then all of a sudden, he kicked the trash can near him. Marco jumped slightly. "Hey, Craig man, are you ok?" Craig looked up.

"Oh hey Marco, um… I guess I'm ok. I'm just frustrated."

"What's wrong?"

"I've just been so stupid. I've been so blind."

"Blind about what?"

"It's just…I should've seen it before now."

"Seen what? Craig, are you feeling alright?" Marco furrowed his brows in worry.

"Me and Manny are done."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Craig looked up and Marco and halfway chuckled.

"Don't be. I'm the one who ended it."

"Oh really, why?"

"It's just the same drama as always. And I realize that I made a mistake. I made the wrong choice."

"Then what's the right choice?"

Craig looked up at Marco and smiled slightly. "I think I'm in love with Ellie." Marco's eyes widen slightly, and he felt his stomach drop.

"Are you sure? When did this happen?"

"Well a couple of days ago, she came by my place wanting to talk to me. But I was with Manny. And she ran away. I wanted to go after her, but Manny stopped me. And a little while later, I felt terrible. She seemed so upset and I let Manny manipulate me into staying. And one thought led to another thought, and I came to the conclusion that I didn't want to be with Manny. I just wanted to be her, with El. But then I tried to tell Manny that, and she got angry, so angry and upset. And she was yelling at me about how I'd hurt her again, and how I never cared about her, and I felt bad. I just wished I'd figured out sooner ya know, so I didn't have to put her through that."

"So what are you gonna do now, about El?"

"I'm going to tell her." Marco was starting to get anxious.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea. I mean, you just broke up with Manny. You might just want to give it some time."

"Marco, no offense, but I think I've wasted enough time. I just really wanna tell her." Marco nodded.

"When are you going to tell her?"

"I was thinking, ya know, right after practice today. I just don't want to wait any longer."

"No, no I understand. I agree." Marco resolved that if Craig was going to tell her, he may as well get it over with. He had no idea what this was going to do to El. In the past few days, she'd gone to being practically in love with Craig, to getting her heart broken, to getting a blast from the past from Sean Cameron, to being happy with Sean. He had no idea how this was going to affect her.

A few minutes later, Jimmy rolled into the garage, and a few minutes after that, Ellie waltzed in. "I'm sorry I'm late. I lost track of time."

"No it's ok," Craig said. "That happens to everyone. Let's just get started." Ellie smiled and nodded, walking back to her position at the drums. "Okay, guys, let's go. ONE…TWO…ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR."

After practice was over, Craig placed his guitar back against the back wall and took a deep breath or two. Then he began walking towards Ellie, passing Marco who was chatting with Jimmy. Marco looked at Craig, and then looked forward to Ellie. Craig smiled and winked, mouthing "Wish me luck." Marco took a deep breath of his own, not knowing what was about to go down. "Marco, you alright?" Jimmy asked.

"What?" Marco said turning his attention back to Jimmy.

"You totally zoned out."

"Oh, sorry Jimmy. It's just that I think Craig is gonna tell El that he loves her."

"What?" Jimmy said, voice full of surprise, both now turning to focus on Craig who was apparently making small talk until he felt confident enough to speak his piece. "I thought he was with Manny."

"Not as of this afternoon. He broke up with her. He figured out that he was in love with El, and he told me he was going to tell her after practice."

"Aw man, it's about to go down. So what are the chances that our lovely redhead's crushing on him too?"

"You want my honest opinion Jimmy? I don't think it's going to happen."

"Oh yeah and why's that?"

Just then a horn honked from outside. All four turned to look at a red car pulling up to the corner. Marco and Jimmy watched as Ellie waved and walked away from Craig, down the driveway. A car door opened up and Sean got out of the car. Ellie smiled as they met halfway, and she lightly kissed him on the lips. He waved to the three guys and took her hand, leading her back to the car. He even opened her door for her. Then he got in the car, and they were gone. Jimmy and Marco looked at Craig who was watching the car drive away, his mouth slightly agape in shock.

"Whoa, man, what just happened?" Jimmy said to Marco. "Did you know Sean was back?"

"Yeah I found out yesterday. They're back together." Jimmy's eyes bugged out slightly.

"And you didn't tell Craig?"

Marco shook his head. "I didn't think it was my place. But it didn't look like Craig got to tell anyway. So now he knows and no damage was done."

"Yeah, I guess Craig got pretty lucky there. Can you imagine how awful it would've been if he would've told her. Dude I'm glad I'm not in his shoes. That had to suck."

"Yeah I agree." Marco said as Craig disappeared into the house, slamming the door with a bang.

"_Wish me luck," he mouthed to Marco as he made his way to Ellie. She looked so beautiful today. Well she looked beautiful every day, but today was different because he was aware of how gorgeous she was. Her long, red hair hung loosely around her face, and wanted desperately to push it away, to touch her cheek, to kiss her. _

"_Hey El, good practice today." Ellie looked up from her bag. _

"_Oh thanks Craig, you too. Hey, how's the new song coming?" Craig looked at her, unsure of what she was talking about. "You said not too long ago that you'd started on a new song for the band." It finally donned on him what she was talking about and he nodded quickly. _

"_Oh yeah. It's going good. I'm still working on it, but it should be done soon. Then we can rehearse it." _

"_That's awesome. I can't wait to hear it. Does it have a title yet?" _

"_Um…no unfortunately not. But I'm working on it. I'll let you know as soon as it's finished." _

"_Great. I'm gonna hold you to that." She smiled and went back to sorting stuff in her bag. _

"_Um…El," he stumbled over her nickname. It was the hardest syllable to pronounce now. He was getting ready to tell Ellie Nash that he was in love with her. He was nervous, but tried hard not to show it. She looked up at him, a curious look on her face. He opened his mouth to tell her the words he'd wanted to shout all band practice. "Ellie…I…." Suddenly a car horn honked, drawing the attention of the beautiful redhead away from him. He followed the direction of her glance to see a red car coming towards the house, stopping in front of the driveway. _

_Ellie smiled widely at Craig, happiness burning on her face, "That's my ride." She threw her bag over her shoulder, waved at Marco and Jimmy, then started down the drive. He was just about to call after her, just about to take a step forward when the car door opened up and a guy got out. But not just any guy. Sean Cameron got out of the car and walked toward Ellie. His stomach dropped. She kissed him, and then walked hand and hand with him back to the car. He felt sick. Sean Cameron was back in town, and he was back with Ellie. He even opened her door for her! Craig was paralyzed where he stood. He couldn't believe this. Before he could even compose himself, Sean was back in the driver's seat, and they were gone. She was gone. _

_Anger began to boil up inside of him. If only he'd figured out sooner that Ellie was the one he wanted. He'd wasted time by getting back with Manny. He'd thought that's what he wanted. He was used to Manny, she was familiar. Their dramatic relationship, although frustrating and ridiculous, was well known to him, comfortable. At least he knew what to expect: lots of fighting and arguing and a few good moments of happiness. He'd thought that's what he wanted, but really the whole time he'd wanted her, Ellie. Why hadn't he seen it before now? Because now it was too late. And that thought took the breath out of him, like a sudden asphyxiation from within. He wasn't sure how long he stood there, staring out where the car had been, but eventually when he'd processed his mistake fully, he turned and headed in the house, throwing the door backwards where it slammed shut loudly. He couldn't believe this. _


	7. Chapter 7: Revelations and Secrets

Set just before Weddings, Parties, and Anything; Sorry it's been a few days. I've been really busy. But here it is Chapter 7. I hope you like it. :)

Oh and I obviously don't own Degrassi, because if I did, Sellie would still be together.

Chapter 7: Revelations…and Secrets

"Where are we going?" Ellie playfully asked, giggling in a way that she could only manage around Sean. Sean had one hand gripping the steering wheel of the car and the other arm wrapped around Ellie's shoulders. Sean looked to her, one of his signature smiles on his face.

"Well I was thinking I'd show you my place."

"Really?" She laughed again, "Are you sure about that? Once you show me, I'll know where you live. I might try to kill you in the middle of the night or something like that." Sean chuckled.

"You know, I hadn't considered that. Maybe we should turn around. No, I'm positive I wanna show you, even if you were some kind of mask-murderer coming to kill me." Ellie smiled, leaning over to kiss Sean on the cheek lightly. They drove the rest of the way, comfortably listening to radio. Sean pulled into the parking lot of an apartment building and cut the ignition. He and Ellie got out of the car and walked hand in hand to the building.

Sean's apartment was on the third floor, nestled in a back corner. Sean pulled the key out and unlocked the door, motioning for Ellie to enter first. Ellie walked in and looked around. The first thing she noticed was the pile of boxes, stacked on top of each other in a partially neat fashion. She looked at Sean, smiling. "Oh sorry. I haven't had much time to unpack." Ellie shrugged it off and kept looking around. It was a pretty good place, a lot like the apartment they'd shared way back when. Ellie walked through, looking at all the rooms. When she came to the bedroom, she plopped gently on the bed and sighed. She sat up and looked at Sean standing in the doorway.

"I'd say you got yourself a pretty nice place here." She laid back. "It's a wonder you already got a place. You've only been back two days. When did you have the time to find this place?" She mused. Sean sighed, his face getting partially serious.

"I'd been looking for a while." Ellie looked dreamily towards the bedroom window as his words began to process in her head. Her smile slowly faded and she sat up, a confused look written all over her face. She parted her lips to speak, but no words came.

"What?" She finally managed to say. Sean looked down at the floor then back to Ellie.

"I'd been looking at places for a month or two. I'd been thinking about leaving Wasaga and coming back for a while."

"What stopped you?" She whispered.

"I needed to make sure I was better. I waited until I could come back and be stable for you, because the way I left you wasn't good. I mean, I just left you. It was hell. Every time I'd try to sleep, I'd see your face, the tears welling up in your eyes, you shaking your head, rushing back to the car. I'd hear your voice, it's shaky tone, almost desperate in a way, trying to make me understand." He stopped for a bit, as if lost in thought. He bit his bottom lip, as if trying to keep himself composed. Then he sort of chuckled, "Sean, please, I…I love you. That's what you said to me. And I still left you. I mean who does that? I even told you I loved you back. I really meant it, and I still walked away from us. I let you drive away in that car! What kind of a person does that? No, I knew I had to fix myself. I had to be better before I came back to you. I had to have a stable life and emotional stability before I could face you, because I couldn't put you through that again." He was speaking faster with each word, and by the time he reached the end of his speech, the words were tumbling over one another as if he couldn't get them out fast enough, his voice rising in volume until he was practically screaming at the final word. When he was done, he looked at her, his face red, breathing heavy, water in his eyes. Ellie had started crying somewhere in the middle of the speech, and shook her head. She wiped the tears clinging to her skin before standing and walking to Sean. She took both of her hands and stroked the falling tears away, his skin trembling under her touch.

"Sean, when are you going to understand, you don't have to be better for me. I love you, for you, just the way you are, flaws and all. I just love you…so much." She left both of her hands on his face, making sure their eyes were locked as she said her words. Her eyes studied his face, as if trying to memorize it. His eyes, his skin, his nose, his lips. Her eyes stopped there and she took a shaky breath. Then she pulled him to her, her lips finding his. The kiss was soft, tender, full of honesty and love. When she pulled away, Ellie pressed her forehead against Sean's and sighed. Sean's hands cupped her face gingerly and they stood there together like that for a few minutes. "I love you Sean. I need you to know that. I need you to stop thinking that one day I'm gonna wake up and not love you anymore because you're not 'good enough.' Because that's never going to happen." She felt Sean exhale and nod.

"Yeah. Ok. I love you too El. I just don't ever wanna lose you." She gave a small smile.

"You're not going to." He kissed her again, then took her by the hand and walked her back into the living room portion of the apartment. They sat on the couch and flipped on the TV. Sean chuckled and looked to Ellie.

"Just like old times." A smile formed on her lips as she held Sean's hand in her own. "Hey, Jay's having a party in a couple of days. He wants me to come and see him since I'm back in town. You up for it?" Ellie hadn't always been the biggest fan of Jay or the influence he seemed to have on Sean, but like Sean had said: he'd waited to come back until he was sure he'd be stable. That thought in itself eased her anxiety tremendously.

She smiled. "I'm up for anything as long as I'm with you."

Sean sat on the other end of the couch, watching his girlfriend sleep sweetly. He wanted to reach a hand out and stroke her hair, but was afraid that the gentle motion would wake her up. Her breathing was slow and even. She looked peaceful. She was so beautiful, he thought. Every time he looked at her, he remembered how lucky he was to have her. He felt his phone in his pocket vibrate. He pulled it out and checked the number, his happiness draining from his face. He flipped the phone open and quietly got up off the couch, retreating to the bedroom to take the call. "Why are you calling me?"

"You know why Sean." The girl on the other end said simply.

"Stop calling me. I've said everything that I wanted to say to you."

"Is she pretty?"

Sean sighed into the phone, trying to keep his voice down for fear Ellie would wake up. "I'm not going to do this with you, ok."

"IS SHE PRETTY? It's a simple question Sean." The mysterious female lost her temper for just a second before composing herself again. "The sooner you answer the question, the sooner you can get off the phone."

Sean sighed again. "She's even more beautiful than I remember." It was quiet on the other end for a moment.

"Aw that's nice. When are you going to stop pretending with that girl?" She asked.

"I'm not pretending. You need to stop calling me."

"I wonder how she'd react if she knew." The voice took on an almost hostile tone.

"No, stop. You don't scare me with your empty threats."

"See that's your first mistake Sean, thinking they're empty threats. I may just have to have a little chat with this Nash girl. I'm sure she'd love to know all about the real you."

"Stop! You're not going to ruin this for me! I love her! **I** **love her!**" He whispered into the phone, trying to keep his voice from rising too loud.

"Sean, why are you whispering?" The voice gasped in a giggly voice. "Oh my God, she's there right now. You're talking to me while she's there, and you don't want her to know." The girl giggled some more as if she were eating the attention up.

"Just…stop calling me. I mean it."

"But Sean – " Sean hung up the phone before the girl could say another word. He exhaled angrily and threw his phone on the bed, walking back to the couch where Ellie was still sound asleep. He sat back down and looked at her again. He stomach tied in knots as he thought about the girl on the phone. She wouldn't tell Ellie, would she? What if she did? **No, **he thought**, she wasn't going to tell her. That's just her trying to intimidate him**. And he hated that it was working. He looked back to Ellie. He couldn't lose her again. He couldn't take it. He reached over and stroked her hair, pushing it back behind her ears.

"I love you El," he whispered and kissed her forehead lightly, never waking Ellie from her sleep.


	8. Chapter 8: Party Foul

Once again, I don't own Degrassi. Hope you guys like this chapter. I'll start working on the next one ASAP. Feel free to review and leave your thoughts. :)

Chapter 8: Party Foul (Blame it on the Alcohol)

"Yeah it's party time!" Jay said. "Let's turn up the music!" Music was blaring in the mostly dark room when Sean walked in. He made his way through the crowd of people, finally finding Jay on the other side of the room, sitting on the couch with a beer in one hand while the other was wrapped around a blonde. "Sean, my man," Jay said, setting his beer on the table and standing and giving Sean a quick hug. "I see you made it back from Wasaga in one piece. It's been way too damn long."

"I hear that man. So how've you been Jay?"

"Ya know. Pretty good." He looked around. "Where's your lady love?" He sort of slurred his words, making Sean wonder exactly when he'd started drinking. He chuckled silently.

"She's meeting me here. She had some stuff to do before the party."

"So it's really her then?" Jay picked his beer back up and took a sip.

"Yeah man, it's really her." Jay nodded and motioned for Sean to join him on the couch.

"You know, I half expected you to come back from Wasaga and knock on sweet little Emma's door. You two always had a way of finding your way to each other." Jay's statement annoyed Sean. He and Emma weren't good for each other. They didn't belong together, not like him and Ellie did. Sean tried to play it off though. He gave a small smile-like look.

"Not this time." The two sat on the couch and the blonde girl next to Jay leaned close to him. Sean eyed the girl curiously.

"Oh yeah, Sean this is Amanda. Amanda, Sean."

"Nice to meet you Amanda." Sean said, beginning to wonder where Ellie was.

"So tell me about Wasaga. Did you meet anyone there?"

"Uh no not really. I just more or less focused on working through things with myself and my parents."

"What man," Jay said, his tone in disbelief, "you were gone for a while. You can't tell me that you spent all of your time locked up in that house of yours. I know you got out." Sean laughed a little and shrugged.

"Sorry man, it's the truth. Besides, even if I did go out, I wouldn't have met anyone."

"Why not?"

Sean smiled again, seeing Ellie in the doorway across the room, looking left and right through the crowded groups of people. "I was in love with her. I still am." Jay noticed Sean's stares and looked himself, laughing silently in his nonchalant way.

"Well speak of the devil." Ellie finally locked eyes with Sean as she moved through the people and a smile crossed her face. Sean watched her as she seemed to glide on the atmosphere, floating in between people gracefully. Her long red hair was hanging about her face, framing it delicately. She wore a black tank top and dark washed jeans. A lazy smile appeared on Sean's face as she got closer.

"Hey beautiful." He said. There wasn't much room left on the couch, so Ellie sat in Sean's lap, with one arm curled around his neck. Sean wrapped an arm around her waist and pecked her on the cheek.

"Hey Ellie." Jay said in between sips of his beer.

"Hey Jay." Ellie said, smiling easily at him, even though he made her feel uneasy. She felt the anxiety sparking in her. She felt Sean's hand push a stray strand of her hair back as it fell. She looked at him and he looked at her.

"Let's dance," he whispered. She smiled and nodded, standing up. "Hey Jay man, I'll catch up with you later."

"Yeah yeah. Don't forget to grab a beer." He shouted as the couple disappeared into the mass of people. Ellie loved dancing with Sean. It reminded her of the first time they dated. Jay would throw parties at Sean's apartment and they would dance their cares away, his bad behavior, her mom's alcoholism. She felt her body relax as the music beat pulsated through her body. She began to unwind and got even closer to Sean. She put her hands on his neck and kissed him. When they needed air, she pulled away and he looked at her breathlessly.

"Here, I'll go get us some drinks."

"Yeah, ok, I'll be right here. Hurry back." She said. Sean smiled back and began fighting the crowd toward the kitchen where there was sure to be lots of alcohol. As he headed through the crowd, he caught sight of someone in particular, probably the last person he expected to see at a Jay Hogarth party. She was still the same. Manny looked mostly the same too. He knew he should probably go over there and say hi to her, with him being back in town and all, but he kept walking to the kitchen.

"Manny, do we have to go to this party?" She whined. The last thing she wanted to do with her free night was hang around jerks like Jay Hogarth, who preferred getting drunk and humiliating people to showing humanity and compassion.

"Oh don't be such a goody-two-shoes Emma. It's just a party. Besides I need to unwind after the whole Craig thing, and this is just the fix I need." Manny said, pulling her strapless red top down a little bit, revealing more cleavage than before. Emma wanted to roll her eyes, but fought against it since her best friend had just had her heart broken.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I still can't believe he did that to you." Emma had spent that whole night comforting Manny, who'd been nothing short of depressed and heartbroken over the Craig situation. He'd dropped her like the flip of a hat, as if she were nothing. He'd even said that she was petty and shallow and accused her of purposely creating drama to drag him down. According to Manny, he'd said a lot of hurtful things to her, and Emma could scarcely believe that she'd once wanted him too.

"He broke my heart Emma," Manny reminded her, reapplying her lip-gloss and rubbing her lips together. "Now I'm going to spend the night getting over Craig."

"How exactly are you going to do that?" Emma asked, not liking where this was going. Manny smiled sympathetically at Emma and rubbed her shoulder.

"Oh Emma, don't be so naïve." Manny pushed opened the door and melded into the party scene, dragging Emma with her. They made their way to the kitchen where Manny could grab a drink. Emma had already decided before getting there that she wasn't going to drink. Alcohol could really mess a person up. It could make them someone different and that didn't interest Emma in the least. Emma jumped on the countertop in the kitchen while Manny rummaged around, weighing her options. Emma watched the partyers party, dancing and blurring together, a massive swirl of shadows moving together to the beat of the song blasting from somewhere close. Then all of a sudden, she spotted something, or rather someone.

"Oh my God. Manny we have to get out of here!" Emma said, jumping down as Manny downed a shot of some clear liquid in a shot glad. She giggled a little, making a face as the liquid went down her throat.

"What, no, we just got here. And I'm not near drunk enough yet." Manny looked at her friend who looked panic. "What's wrong Emma?"

"Look who just walked in," Emma said cryptically. Manny turned her attention toward the door and gasp, almost dropping her shot glass. It was Sean Cameron in his signature jeans, hat, and hoodie.

"Is that who I think it is?" She choked. Emma just nodded and managed an 'uh-huh.' Manny turned to Emma, her eyes pleading. "Emma, I know you don't wanna be around Sean right now. And I know you wanna go, but I need this. I need this. The love of my life just crushed my heart. I need this right now. Please, please stay…for me. Please." She begged. Emma sighed. She really wanted to leave. She hadn't been excited about the party in the first place, and now that she saw Sean, red flags were flashing in her head. But she looked at Manny, at the desperation on Manny's face and she hung her head in defeat.

"Fine we can stay."

"YAY!" Manny squeaked and hugged Emma tightly, jumping up and down.

"But," Emma started as Manny pulled away, "if we stay, I'm gonna need one of those." Emma pointed to Manny's shot glass and smiled. She found another glass and poured her and Emma both a shot.

"To getting over Craig." Many said holding her glass up to toast.

"To getting over Sean." Emma clanked her glass with Manny before downing the drink. The liquid burned as it raced down her throat, but she knew the alcohol would dull her senses, dull her perception of Sean.

Emma downed drink after drink after drink, until the party scene around her became a slow motioned spinning picture. Everyone moved slower than they should have in her eyesight. She stumbled occasionally while dancing wildly in the crowd. She and Manny giggled as they headed back from the kitchen drinks in hand. That's when they saw them. Sean was dancing with some girl, closely, too close. Then they were kissing. Emma felt chills creep over her, chills that only multiplied as the girl pulled away, revealing herself to be none other than Ellie Nash. Emma immediately turned to Manny. "That bitch! Who does that goth slut think she is?" Manny exclaimed as they watched Sean leave her, making his way towards them and the kitchen.

He saw them. Emma was sure, but he didn't say anything. He just kept walking. Emma sighed as Manny continued raging on. She looked back at Sean. "I'm going to go give that bitch a piece of my mind!" Manny huffed as she began walking. "Don't try and stop me Em." Manny said, and Emma had no plans to. In fact, she had plans of her own. She downed her drink before turning the opposite direction, heading back towards the kitchen.

Sean was alone in the kitchen. Emma quietly approached before banging her glass down on the countertop. Sean looked up to her in surprise. "Hi Sean."

"Emma." He said curtly.

"Pour me another drink Sean." She said, slurring a few of her words.

"Emma, you're drunk. I'm not pouring you another one."

"Why not? I think I'm entitled to have a drink now and then." Sean grabbed the two drinks and began to head back towards Ellie.

"Emma, you've had too much to drink. You need to go home before you get yourself in trouble."

"What if I like trouble?" Emma said, standing in the way, reaching out to touch his arm. He yanked it away, careful not to spill one of the drinks.

"Emma, you're not yourself right now. You need to go home." He said, trying to step around her, but she stopped him.

"I saw you with Ellie." She said. Sean sighed, tired of this back and forth.

"Yeah, we're together."

"She really took you back after the shit you did?" Emma said, her eyes glazed over slightly. "Really? God that girl must have self-esteem issues."

"Emma, shut up. You're drunk off your ass." He said, finally stepping around her. Suddenly he felt her hand on his shoulder. He turned to find her quiet and in tears, her voice frantic when she finally did speak.

"Sean why didn't we work out?" Sean sighed, feeling sympathy for the drunk girl. He shrugged his shoulders easily.

"I don't know Em. That's life. Sometimes things don't work out. So you try again hoping that one time it does." He opened his mouth to speak more, but Emma saw an opportunity and crashed her lips on his, throwing her arms around him.

At first Sean was so surprised that he was immobilized. Then he began to process exactly what was going on around him. He pushed Emma away, careful so she wouldn't lose her balance. "I love you Sean. I've always loved you." Emma said, wiping tears from her face. "Tell me you feel the same way." She sniffled.

"Em, Em," Sean shook his head, "No. We had our time. It didn't work out for us, but you know I bet there's someone out there for you. All you have to do is find them." He was trying to be inspirational, but that wasn't really Sean's cup of tea. He really wished Emma would just walk away from him. He didn't know how to handle this. Emma sniffled again.

"Is there someone out there for you too?"

"There's someone for me in here, and I really need to find her." He said, looking around for his redhead. "But first, I need to make sure you get home safe." He grabbed her by the arm and gently pulled her behind him, forgetting about the drinks entirely. He looked around before seeing her. "MANNY!" he screamed over the music. Manny turned around from her place in the center of the dance floor. "Manny, Emma's drunk. You two need to go home. You need to get her home before she does something stupid." Manny had a drink in her hand, but didn't look hammered. She nodded and took Emma from Sean, speaking in a soft voice.

"Hey Em, Em, I'm tired. Let's go home." Emma babbled and slurred some protests, but Manny pulled her towards the door. Once they were gone, Sean sighed and looked around again, looking for Ellie among the dancers.

"If you're looking for your girlfriend, you won't find her." A sharp, feminine voice came from behind him. He turned around to see the beautiful blonde who'd been curled up close to Jay, Amanda.

"What?" He called over the music. They got closer to hear each other better.

"She's not here."

"What do you mean she's not here? I just saw her a minute ago." He said, confused.

"Yeah, she saw you a minute ago too…with that blonde girl. She took off real quick after that."

Unbelievable, Sean thought. Could this night be going any worse? All he'd wanted to do was come to a party to see his best friend and live it up with his girlfriend. Things had gotten so messed up in the course of a few minutes. Sean ran a hand through his short hair in frustration. "I don't guess you know where she went?" Amanda gave a sympathetic look and shook her head. "Thanks anyway. Tell Jay I'll see him around some time." Sean turned and walked out the door, wishing he'd never even come.


	9. Chapter 9: Blame it on the Alcohol

Chapter 9: Party Foul (Blame it on the Alcohol) Part 2

Ellie walked down the sidewalk, the cold night air hitting her sharply in the face, awakening her senses to the world around her, even though all she wanted to do was feel a dull numbness. She'd had to get away from the party. She hadn't wanted to come in the first place and now she regretted showing up at all. She still couldn't believe what'd happened.

_All she'd been doing was standing there, slightly swaying to the music. She was waiting for Sean to come back with the drinks when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around smiling sweetly. "That was fast." Her smile disappeared and she fell silent, realizing the person behind her wasn't Sean. It was a slightly tipsy Manny. _

"_Oh kinda like you?" Ellie's eyes narrowed. _

"_Excuse me?" _

"_You heard me. Do you just enjoy being the school's biggest whore?" _

"_What the hell is your problem?" Ellie demanded. No way in hell was she going to let someone like Manny Santos trash talk her. _

"_You're my problem." _

"_And what did I ever do to you?" Ellie spit, venom soaking into each syllable. _

"_See you're the worst kind of slut, because you can't just settle for ruining one person's relationship." Manny slurred a few of her words. _

"_What are you talking about?" Ellie didn't have a clue what Manny was talking about. _

"_See, first you had to screw with my relationship with Craig. You just had to step in there and steal him away from me. Then – " _

"_Wait, what are you talking about? I didn't steal Craig from you! I'm not interested in Craig!" _

"_Bullshit! I've seen the way you look at him, the way you watch him. You want him so bad. Well congratulations because you finally got him." _

"_Manny, what are you talking about? Craig picked you. I've moved on." _

"_No, I only thought Craig picked me, but he didn't. He picked you! He broke up with me so he could be with you! You ruined my relationship with him!" Ellie's head was spinning. Craig had dumped Manny so they could be together? "See and then as if you weren't already enough of a homewrecker, you just had to go and screw with Emma too. You just had to take Sean away too, knowing that Emma still loves him! You just couldn't be happy ruining one relationship, you had to ruin two! God you're such a bitch. How do you sleep at night you slut?" _

"_Hey, I didn't steal Sean away. He came looking for me! Sean loves me! Look, I don't know what's going on with you and Craig, or what's going on with Emma, but Sean and I are together. Sean is the only guy I'm interested in. I don't want your boyfriend. I've got my own. So get that through your thick, Barbie head. I know that's kind of hard when everything has to go through all those layers of hairspray, but seriously get over yourself. I'm not out to steal anyone's boyfriend, let alone yours." Ellie pushed past Manny, before stopping right behind her. "Oh and you should lay off the alcohol. It makes you even bitchier than before, and I didn't think that was possible." Then she was melding through the crowd of people. She needed to find Sean. She didn't want to be at this party anymore. She just wanted to go home. _

_She moved back towards the kitchen when she saw Sean. He was talking to someone, but she couldn't make out who yet. She pushed past one more person before she saw the blonde hair. She moved closer, barely making out what was being said. She camouflaged herself with a group of teens dancing. "Sean why didn't we work out?" _

"_I don't know Em. That's life. Sometimes things don't work out. So you try again hoping that one time it does." There was a pause and then the unthinkable happen. Emma threw her arms around Sean and kissed him. Ellie couldn't stomach the sight and turned away immediately. She rushed back through the crowd towards the door and rushed out, struggling to contain herself after the night's events. _

She walked for a while, not really knowing where she was going, just continuously moving, turning corners, rounding blocks. That's when she found herself at a park. She looked around, unsure of how she got here. The park didn't look familiar. Why had she walked here? Oh well, she thought. This was as good a place as any to close the world out. She wandered in and sat down on one of the swings, grasping the chains tightly. She lowered a head and let a tear drop fall, then another, and another after that. Soon the tears were falling faster than she could count and the worst part was she didn't even really know why she was crying. Soon her tears were all cried out, and she just sat there rocking in the swing. She felt increasingly alone, like the solitariness was closing in around her, threatening to drown her. She reached into her pants pocket and pulled out her phone. She had two missed calls from Sean. Funny, she didn't remember the phone ringing. She pressed the button and put the phone to her ears.

"El? Ellie?" He was panicked, concerned. "El, are you there?" Just hearing his voice made her feel better.

"Yeah, I'm here."

"El, you've got to let me explain. It was – "

"Come to the park." She interjected, still swaying in the swing.

"What?" Sean was confused.

"Come to the park. That's where I am."

"Yeah ok, which park El?" He said, just going with it.

Ellie looked around her surroundings looking for something to tell Sean. "The park by the Overbridge Apartments. Do you know where I'm talking about?" She sniffled into the phone. She was tired.

"Yeah El. I know where you're talking about. I'll be there soon." She nodded, realizing after she'd done it he couldn't see her and hung up the phone. She rubbed her arms. It was cold out. She should've brought her jacket with her. With nothing left to do, she leaned her head against the cold chain of the swing and began to wait.

Sean walked as quickly as he could without breaking into a run. He made his way around corner after corner until he saw the apartment buildings Ellie was talking about. He walked passed them into the little park that was nestled there, a quiet place in the crowded, noisy atmosphere of the city. He saw a lone figure in the park. She was sitting on a swing, head tilted to the side. He swallowed hard and walked towards her, unsure of what she was going to say to him when he got there. "Hey El," he softly said as he approached. She raised her head to look at him.

"Hi Sean." Ellie rubbed her arms again as the wind blew through the trees. Sean took off of his gray hoodie and handed it to El.

"Here, put this on. You look cold." She couldn't help but smile lightly as she pulled Sean's hoodie on. It smelled like him. They were quiet for a moment, neither of them knowing where to start. Sean finally took a step forward towards her.

"Look El, that kiss meant nothing. Emma kissed me. I didn't see it coming. She just kinda jumped on me."

"Sean, am I your first choice? Like when you got here, am I the first person you came looking for, or did you try looking for Emma first and that didn't work out?"

"What of course not! Ellie, what's going on?"

"Did I ruin your chance at another relationship with Emma?" Sean looked at her confused.

"El, what are you talking about. There wasn't going to be another relationship with Emma. I don't wanna be with Emma, I wanna be with you. Look El, if this is about the kiss, I'm really sorry. I know how that could've looked, but you've got to understand – "

"I'm not mad about the kiss. I was never mad about the kiss."

"You're not mad."

"No, I just need to know that you wanna be with me 100%, that there's not even a chance you wanna be with Emma."

"Of course I wanna be with you. My relationship with Emma is in the past. Why are you so worried about this? Did someone say something to you?" Ellie shifted uncomfortably, not wanting to tell Sean about the ordeal with Manny. Ellie was still trying to wrap her head around the entirety of it. She was dealing with the Sean and Emma portion first, and the Craig part would just have to wait. Besides, Sean was more important anyway. She loved him. "El, did Emma or Manny say something to you about us?" Ellie shook her head.

"No. I just wanted to make sure." She yawned. "I just want to go home." Sean nodded and helped Ellie up from the swing, pulling her closer to him so he could kiss her softly.

"Okay, let's go home."

They walked hand–in–hand back to Sean's apartment. "El, are you sure you don't want me to drive you home?"

"No. I wanna stay here with you tonight." Ellie sat down on the couch, still cuddling in Sean's hoodie while Sean walked to the kitchen to grab a couple of drinks. He still hadn't had time to really go grocery shopping, but he'd manage to stop somewhere and get a few sodas. He walked back to the living room, about to say something else to El, but she'd drifted off to sleep on the couch. He smiled, and sat the drinks back down in the kitchen. He picked her up in his arms and carried her to his bedroom, laying her gently on the bed. He laid down beside her. She snuggled up to his and he wrapped his arms around her, cradling her gently.

There was a knock on the door of the Nelson house early the next morning. Emma answered the door, hand to her head, eyes closed in pain. She had the worst hangover from all the drinking she did the night before. In reality, she didn't drink that much, but her body wasn't used to alcohol consumption so even the five drinks she'd had last night really messed with her head. Manny wasn't all that bad. She had a minor headache and was mostly just tired as she lounged on the couch in the Nelson living room. Spike and Snake were still asleep. "Hello?" Emma whispered.

"Hey, we need to talk." Sean said. Emma's eyes widened slightly. She nodded.

"Okay," she said, stepping out onto the front porch, beginning to shut the door. Sean stopped her.

"No I mean all three of us." Emma looked back in and motioned for Manny to come outside. Manny sighed and moved outside with Emma and Sean, gently shutting the door behind her.

"What do you want Sean? It's early in the morning and I don't think Emma's in the mood." Manny snipped. Sean rolled his eyes and looked several times in between Manny and Emma.

"What happened last night?"

Manny rolled her eyes in irritation. "We had too much to drink Sean. I thought it was pretty obvious."

"No, what happened with Ellie. I know one of you said something. She was acting really weird last night."

Emma rubbed her face in pain. "I don't know what you're talking about Sean, but can you please stop talking so loud. My head is killing me."

"Yeah, you know that's what happens when you get hammered and kiss other girl's boyfriends at parties." Sean spit. He had no sympathy for Emma today. He turned to Manny.

"Now did you say something to her Manny?"

"Did she send you over here?" Manny sounded amused. Her speech had gotten under Ellie's skin. She was easier to break than expected.

"No. What'd you say?" Sean was getting irritated.

"I said exactly what I thought of that slut."

"Hey, she's not a slut. We're together because I want to be with her, not with Emma, not with anyone else. I love her. And besides Manny, you're one to talk? Are you still sharing Craig with Ashley?" Manny's eyes bugged out and her mouth dropped open a little.

"You know what Sean, you and that little boyfriend stealer can go to hell! I don't care anymore!" She turned and ran inside, slamming the door shut behind her. Emma winced in pain. Then it was just the two of them.

"Listen, I wanna apologize for last night, about kissing you. I was drunk, and trust me I'm paying for it now. And I'm sorry Manny said those things to Ellie. She's been pretty messed up since Craig dumped her for Ellie. She just got carried away."

"Wait, Craig left Manny for Ellie?"

"Yeah, but you'd already come back. So I don't know if he ever even told her. But I don't think you have anything to worry about Sean. I saw the way she looked at you last night, and she loves you. Craig doesn't stand a chance."

"Thanks Em, that means a lot."

"I'm happy for you Sean."

"Thank Em." Sean said. "You should go sleep off that hangover." Emma nodded and smiled, turning and going back inside.


	10. Chapter 10: I Love You

Chapter 10: I Love You

Ellie woke up to a ceiling that didn't belong to her room and set up confused, only remembering she was in Sean's apartment once she'd wiped the sleep from her eyes. She smiled and pushed her red hair out of her face. She noticed the empty place in bed next to her and wondered where Sean was. She didn't hear any noise in the next room. She rolled out of bed, rubbing her arms sleepily when she heard the door shut. She wandered lazily into the living room to see Sean place his apartment key on a kitchen counter. Sean looked up and smiled. "Good morning beautiful."

"Morning," she said back lightly, venturing into the room.

"Did you sleep well?" She nodded, a question buzzing in her mind.

"Yeah, I'm a little surprised that you weren't here when I woke up. Where'd you go?" Sean smiled and shook a paper bag in one hand.

"I thought I'd go get us some breakfast." Ellie smiled. "Here, I'll just get us some plates and we'll eat."

Ellie looked at the clock. "We might want to hurry though," she called. "I'm gonna need to go by my house to change before school." Sean came back towards Ellie carrying two paper plates in his hands.

They quickly ate their breakfast and then set off for Ellie's house. "What time did you get up? Pretty early since you were ready before I got up right?" She asked in the car.

"It wasn't that early. I just woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. So I thought I'd do something nice for my girlfriend."

"Aw, well thanks." Ellie couldn't help but smile, something she did a lot when she was with Sean, as she grabbed the hand Sean wasn't using to steer the car and laced their fingers together.

"You know you should really bring some stuff over to my house to have there so that we didn't have to come to your house every time you stayed over."

"Really? I just thought you'd like to get nice and settled before I brought any of my stuff in."

"El, having your stuff there would just make it feel more like home. We did live together once. The apartment just feels empty without you or your stuff. Wasaga felt weird without you or your stuff. I didn't really realize exactly how much I'd gotten used to it. I missed it."

Ellie stroked his skin with her thumb gently as she listened to his sweet confession. It made a warmth flow through her. His affection and attachment ran that deep. It made her happy that he was just as into the relationship as she was. It was like they'd never missed a beat, like he'd never gone away. They were just Sean and Ellie, the misfits who'd saved each other. And she was glad.

She rushed out of her house having changed into light washed jeans and a random solid red shirt she'd pulled from her closet. She ran her fingers through her pin-straight red hair, hoping it looked presentable enough. She hadn't had a lot time so she'd just put on mascara and eyeliner. Still when she got back in the car, Sean took a moment to just stare at her. Ellie looked at his lingering eyes. "What? Do I look ok?" She asked, using her hands to push down her hair again. Sean didn't say anything at first to which Ellie dropped her hands from her head and stared at him too. "Do I look that bad?" She asked. She turned to look in the mirror before turning back to Sean only to find him closer now, leaning in to gingerly kiss her lips. He pulled away. "You look stunning." And with that, he put the car in drive and drove away from her house towards the school, the whole while the warmth of his kiss lingered on her lips so much so that she reached up to feel it with her index finger.

Ellie and Sean walked in time together, their steps synchronized to the others. Ellie looked at the time on her phone. It was almost time for the bell to ring. She continued walking with Sean right beside her. Ellie stopped and pointed in the other direction. "Isn't your class that way?" She smiled.

"I thought I'd walk you to class."

"That's sweet of you, but if you're late to math class one more time, you're sure to get detention, and I'd like my boyfriend detention-free for the weekend."

"Okay, but only if you promise to come over this weekend."

"Yeah sure."

"I'll cook you dinner." Ellie was taken slightly by surprise.

"You cook?" She arched her eyebrow in questioning.

"Not too much, but I want to you know."

"Aw, well thanks. Now go to class." She smiled sweetly, and Sean turned around and started walking.

Ellie turned around and began walking to Mr. Simpson's class. She saw Craig and Marco chatting by one of the classrooms. Marco looked up and waved. She smiled and waved back until Craig looked up at her. She looked away quickly. She still hadn't completely wrapped her mind around what Manny had told her about Craig's feelings for her. She sighed and looked down until she felt a hand on her arm. She turned around to see Sean. She couldn't help but smile. "I thought you went to class."

"I forgot something."

"Oh what?"

"To say I love you." Ellie kissed him gently.

"I love you too. Now really, you have to get to class." Sean chuckled and nodded, turning around and disappearing around the corner. She could feel Marco and Craig's eyes on her as she walked down the hallway to Simpson's class, all the way down the hallway until she disappeared into the classroom.

"I still can't believe they're back together." Craig sighed as he and Marco stood in the hallway outside their class. He leaned up against the wall and stared at the ceiling. "I can't believe she took him back."

"Well you know, she seems happy." Marco said, slightly uncomfortable. He didn't want to trash his best friend's relationship, but he didn't want Craig to feel like he couldn't talk to him. So he settled for listening to Craig moan and groan and make neutral comments.

"You know it just kills me to see them together. It just makes me so sick that I missed my chance. I mean I can't believe I didn't realize how amazing she was before now."

"Well you know what they always say, 'If it's meant to be, it'll happen.' So if you and Ellie are really destined to be together, it'll all work out in the end."

"Yeah I guess you're right." Craig slumped slightly and switching his focus to the tiled floor of the school. That's when he noticed the flash of movement from Marco out of the corner of his eyes. He looked up, first at Marco, then to see who he was waving at. Of course it was Ellie. He looked at her. He stared at her. He wanted their eyes to meet and they did for a split second before Ellie turned her attention elsewhere. It was as if she were trying her hardest not to look at Craig. He and Marco watched Ellie as she moved down the hallway until she turned and entered Mr. Simpson's classroom.

Craig sighed again. "God, I'm in love with a girl who's in love with someone else."

Marco moved to enter the classroom. "Isn't high school life great?"

Sean turned the corner away from Ellie and was almost to his class when he heard his phone sound. He pulled it out and saw a text message from the last person he wanted to see one from. Then the phone began ringing. He quickly answered it. "I told you not to call me."

"So I guess that means you can't talk right now?" The female voice clucked.

"I'm at school right now, not that I would want to talk to you out of school anyway."

"Ew, doing the school thing, yeah that's not my style."

"Shocker. Now I have to go. Please stop calling me."

"Oh don't worry. You won't get a phone call from me in the next couple of days."

"Get it through your head. I don't wanna hear from you ever! Don't call me in the next few days and don't call me after that either!"

"Oh Sean, you're just deluding yourself."

"No you're deluding yourself. Goodbye." Sean shut the phone off and hurried off to class, trying to beat the bell. Ellie was right. If he was late one more time, he'd get detention for sure.

The girl smiled as she hung up the phone. She always loved hearing from Sean even if all he said was stop calling. But she couldn't do that. She had no desire to do that. But she was being honest: she wouldn't call Sean for a few days.

The gas station clerk handed her some change. "So your car's all gassed up and ready to go. So where ya coming from and where ya going to?" He asked.

"I'm heading from Wasaga to Toronto to see my friend."

"Is that who you were on the phone with?"

"Yeah, but he doesn't know I'm coming. It's going to be a surprise." She smiled deviously and left the gas station, getting into her car and driving away.


	11. Chapter 11: Mystery Girl

Chapter 11: Mystery Girl

Sean looked around, obviously pleased with himself. Everything was ready for his dinner with Ellie that night. He turned the fire off on the little stove in his apartment to let the food cool before looking at the clock. He'd told Ellie to come over around 7, so from his judgment he had just enough time to take a shower and change clothes before she came over. He smiled as he walked to the bathroom. Tonight was going to be perfect.

Ellie stood in front of her mirror, studying her appearance. She then turned to Marco, who'd graciously agreed to come over and help her get ready. "So what do you think?" Marco eyed her up and down. She was wearing a black, halter dress that flowed downward gracefully, stopping at the knees. It skimmed over Ellie's slim body in all the right places. Marco nodded approvingly.

"It's great El. It's simple, but sexy. When Sean sees you in this, I'm not sure if you'll even get to dinner." Ellie laughed and playfully hit Marco in the arm.

"Marco!" She paused, "So you think this is good?"

"Of course El. You look beautiful, as always." Marco looked up to the alarm clock. "You'd better get going El. Don't wanna be late. I still can't believe Sean Cameron is cooking you dinner. Where did that even come from?"

"I don't know," Ellie said as she gathered her things up, "Maybe he picked it up in Wasaga. Maybe his mom can cook or something." She tucked her phone and house key into the little pockets seemingly hidden on her dress. She and Marco walked down the stairs towards the door, and Ellie was glad her mother wasn't home. She'd cut back on her drinking quite a bit, but there was still the occasional day that she had more than she needed. And her mom would have gone off the deep end had she known that Ellie was leaving for a date with Sean. Her mother never really warmed up to him, so she just didn't mention their new found relationship.

Marco had offered to drive Ellie to the date, for which she was thankful. The car ride was full of idle chatter and school gossip, mostly coming from Marco's end. Ellie, for the most part, zoned out and wondered about the night. Then she felt glad that Sean had come back for her. She felt lucky to have him, and she was happier with him than she'd been in months.

Sean hadn't been in the shower long when he'd heard the door open. "El, is that you?" He called. He heard a muffled yes, and told her to make herself comfortable. "Wow," he thought to himself, "she's really early."

The girl had found Sean's door to be unlocked. She'd knocked, but no one came to answer the door. After pressing her ear against the door, she'd vaguely heard water running. She smiled viciously and let herself in, shutting the door a little louder than she meant to. And for a moment, she just froze. "El, is that you?" She heard Sean call from the shower. She sighed in relief and replied yes in a voice just low enough that he wouldn't be able to make out the tone. After a moment she heard Sean call, "Make yourself at home. I'll just be a minute." She smiled and took in her surroundings, giving a low, little laugh. This was going to be **too easy**, she thought as she slunk past the bathroom to the bedroom.

Ellie knocked on the door and waited patiently. No one came, so she knocked again. Finally, the door creaked open and Ellie smiled, expecting Sean, except it wasn't Sean who answered the door, not by a long shot. It was a girl. She flipped her long blonde hair to one side and looked down at Ellie. "Uh, can I help you?" Ellie looked at the number on the door, making sure she had the right apartment. It was the right number. She looked back to the blonde and finally took in her full appearance. The blonde was scantily dressed in a blue and white stripped button down shirt and her underwear. Ellie recognized the shirt as Sean's. It was one of the ones she'd helped him unpack. He never wore it except to super special occasions. "Well what do you want?" She said expectantly. Ellie opened her mouth to speak, but no words formed in her throat. The blonde sighed. "Are you here to see Sean?" Ellie nodded.

If looks could kill, Ellie thought as the blonde stared her down, an eyebrow raised. "Look, I'm gonna level with you," the blonde said, venom seeping into her words. "I don't appreciate random girls showing up at night to see my boyfriend." Ellie had had a hard time processing the situation initially, but assumed there was some sort of possible explanation – maybe, but at the mention of the word boyfriend, she lost her ability to wrap her head around anything.

"What?" She managed. "Your boyfriend?"

"That's right. I'm Jennifer Elise Anderson, and Sean Cameron's my boyfriend." Jennifer paused for a moment, before her eyes lit up and her mouth opened. "You're Ellie Nash. You're the girl that Sean was with before he moved back to Wasaga."

"You're from Wasaga?"

"Well of course," Jennifer laughed, "how do you think we met?" Jennifer pulled Ellie into the apartment. "Look, you seem like a really sweet girl, confused, but a really sweet girl. I have to say it was difficult to watch, or rather hear, all the phone calls you made to him. Now I'm not a genius or anything but when a guy doesn't answer your calls or call you back, I think that means that he doesn't want to talk to you. Now it's really cute that you showed up here trying to win Sean back, but Sean's with me, he's been with me, and you need to stop kidding yourself."

"I don't understand. Sean came back from Wasaga to see me, he came back for me."

"He didn't come back for you. God, you're so naïve it's sad. Sean left you, dropped you for months, didn't see you, talk to you, call you. Why would you think that he honestly came back for you? I bet he also told you that he didn't do anything in Wasaga." Ellie didn't say anything, confirming Jennifer's statement with her silence. "I bet he told you that all he did was work through his inner demons and whatnot, when in reality he was indulging them."

"What do you mean?"

"Sean wasn't 'working on himself and his relationships with his family. Sean was out partying, drinking, being with me. The only reason Sean came back was because he was sick of his parents. All they were doing was lecturing him. He was tired of it. They were epic buzz-kills." Ellie was quiet as she took in all this information. She didn't have any reason to trust this girl, but it was hard not to believe when she was in Sean's apartment in Sean's shirt. Ellie felt her whole world shattering. All the solid ground she thought she and Sean had been standing on was crumbling before her, and she was getting ready to plunge into the black abyss below while Sean and Jennifer watched from the other side. Ellie ran a hand through her hair in frustration when she heard the shower water shut off. The evidence was getting more and more incriminating as Ellie spotted discarded clothes near the bedroom door. How could she be so stupid? She looked back at Jennifer who was watching her. "Now, I'm usually a pretty understanding girl, but I don't like it when girls show up trying to seduce my boyfriend. Now I don't care what's happened before now because you didn't know that Sean was taken. But now you do and I don't think it's appropriate for you to come over or see him anymore. So I think you should go."

Ellie blinked back tears. She'd let Sean Cameron back into her life with a promise of love and truth, and he'd broken her heart yet again. She finally found the honesty in the saying, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." She should've seen it coming. He'd broken her heart once without a second thought. Why was she surprised that he did it again? "Aw, now don't cry. You'll mess up your face." Jennifer said, flashing Ellie a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. Suddenly the bedroom door opened and Sean appeared in a pair of jeans, a shirt in his hand.

He looked at the scene, confused as to what was happening. His eyes first went to Ellie, who stared back with a disapproving look of betrayal. Then his eyes flashed to the other girl. Wait, Jennifer? JENNIFER! Then his eyes flashed back to Ellie, who'd let a tear spill over. "Ellie," he whispered. It was as if the scene had been playing out in slow motion thus far, and then it sped up to normal speed suddenly. She backed up and rushed out the door, disappearing down the hallway. "Ellie! Ellie wait!" He began running after her, letting the shirt drop from his hand. He was almost at the door when he felt Jennifer tugging on his hand.

"Sean, don't go." He looked at her with disgust and shook his hand free from her grasp.

"Get off of me." He ran out the door and down the hallway calling out for Ellie.

Ellie walked down the sidewalk, arms crosses and face tearstained. She just wanted to get away from the apartment building, away from Sean, away from Sean _and_ Jennifer. She quickened her pace, not wanting Sean to come looking for her, but she felt that she had lost him after she ducked around a few corners that she normally wouldn't have taken. She found a park bench and sat down, trying to keep her composure as she pulled out her phone to call Marco. Her voice was a bit shaky as she greeted him, and Marco immediately knew something was wrong. "Marco, can you please come get me?" She stammered. Marco, keys in hand, was already out the door of his house.

"I'm on my way."

Sean had run down the hallway, down the stairs, and out the building, but she had already melded into the crowd of people on the Toronto sidewalks. He sighed in frustration and even kicked the side of the building. He couldn't believe that this had happened. He stomped up the stairs back to his third floor apartment and thrust the door open, letting it hit the wall. Jennifer was still there, sitting on the couch. "Well," she said, "it's about time you came back."

"What the hell did you do? What are you trying to pull?"

"I just told her the truth Sean. I told her I didn't appreciate her showing up at my boyfriend's house – "

"Wait, what? God, Jennifer, how many times do I have to tell you: We're through. We're done! We are no longer together. We were never really together in the first place."

"How can you say that? We're perfect for each other." She rose from the couch and grabbed Sean's hand, trying to pull him towards her, but he was resistant. "We're both broken souls. We're not good for anyone else."

"No," he pulled away from her, "You think to get it through your head that we're not together. I don't wanna be with you. I wanna be with Ellie. It's always been Ellie, and you just showed up and ruined it."

"See you say that, but you don't mean it. Besides why would she want to be with you when she found out that you lied to her? You spun her some bullshit tale about spending all of your time in Wasaga fixing your relationships. The only thing you were doing in Wasaga was getting drunk and partying. Party all night, sleep all day. I would know, I was right there beside you. That's where I'm supposed to be: beside you. Sean, I love you. Come home."

"You really don't get it. I _**am**_ home. This is where I want to be. You ruined the best thing that ever happened to me. That girl is the only good part of me. The only time I ever like myself is when I'm with her. She makes me a better person. And I was lucky that she took me back, and one psychotic girl has completely managed to tear apart our relationship and destroy that trust. I can't believe you." He looked her up and down. "You know what get dressed and get out. I don't want you here when I get back." He grabbed his discarded shirt from the floor and pulled it on.

"Where are you going?" Jennifer whined.

"I'm going to find the girl I love. But I'm serious: get dressed and get out." Sean darted out of the apartment once again, this time bound and determined to find Ellie. He didn't know what he would say to her, but he had to try to tell her.


	12. Chapter 12: Don't Stop the Music!

Hey guys, sorry it's been a while since my last couple updates. Summer is coming to a close, and I've got summer homework that has to get done before I go back to school. But here's the next chapter.

And I just want to thank everyone that's read my little story here and reviewed. I appreciate it. :)

Oh and once again, I don't own Degrassi, obviously because if I did, you would have seen an episode like this :)

**Chapter 12: Don't Stop the Music!**

Marco pulled his car over to the curb to find a distressed Ellie sitting on a park bench, crying. The part that disturbed Marco that most was the fact that several people were walking by and didn't pay the upset girl a moment of attention. He rolled the window down. "Hey El, rescue party's here." She looked up from her tears in relief. She sauntered to the car and got in. Marco didn't pull away from the curb immediately. "What happened?" He said, letting the car idle.

"Sean Cameron happened," She said, wiping the tears away from her eyes furiously, "I was only deluding myself. He'll never love me. All he'll ever do is hurt me. It's like a cycle: I let him in, he hurts me, he apologizes and wants forgiveness, and I let him back in, and then the cycle starts all over again. I know that now, but it won't happen again. I won't let it happen again."

Marco hated to see Ellie like this. It made him feel miserable that he couldn't really do anything to make her feel better. This was damage that would just have to work through her system. All he could do is sit on the sidelines and watch. "I'm so sorry El," he said, deciding he'd get specifics in a minute. "Do you want me to take you home?"

"No." She shook her head. "He'll be there waiting for me to get home. Home is the last place I want to go."

Marco thought for a moment. "Here, we'll just go back to my place. Let me just call Dylan." Marco pulled his phone out and began dialing.

"Did you guys have plans?"

"Yeah, we were gonnna go to some party. But this is more important."

"NO, Marco, it's not. Your relationship is important."

"Our relationship is important too." Ellie sighed and then looked at Marco.

"I'll go to the party with you."

"What?" Marco looked back at her as if it was the most absurd suggestion.

"I'll go to the party with you. That way you can have your date with Dylan, and I don't have to go home."

"You think you're up to a party after you just had your heart broken? El, I don't know about this."

"Trust me Marco, it'll be fine. Besides, I'm all dressed up with no place to go." She tried to crack a smile, but the happiness didn't even reach her lips. Marco didn't know what to do, so he waved a white flag.

"Ok Ellie. I'll take you to the party, but if you get ready to go home, just find me. I'll drop everything and leave. Boyfriends come and go, but friends are forever. And besides, I'm sure Dylan would understand." Ellie nodded, signaling that she understood, and Marco finally pulled away from the curb and began driving.

Marco parked the car in a crowded parking lot in front of a building. The windows were dark except for the occasional pop of colored light. "Is this a rave?" Ellie asked. The building looked abandoned, like a step up from a warehouse. Marco took in the scene, unsure too.

"It looks that way. I don't know about this Ellie. This isn't the best scene for you, and I'm starting to think it's not my scene either."

"Oh come on Marco. I'm sure it'll be fine. Let's just go. Who knows, maybe dancing under colored lights in a darkened space is what I need." She opened her door and got out. Marco stared at her through the car window, highly doubting this was what she needed, but once Ellie Nash had made up her mind, there was no changing it. He sighed, defeated, and got out of the car too.

When they entered the building, Marco turned to Ellie and had to practically yell to be heard over the blaring music. "Hey, I'm gonna go find Dylan." He pulled his phone out and shook it at her. "Call if you need me. I'll come find you." She nodded, and Marco disappeared into the group of bodies dancing close together.

Ellie looked around. She was starting to agree with Marco: she didn't know about this. She didn't feel up to a party. She just wanted to find a dark corner, sit down, and cry out her sorrows. She wandered through the crowd of people, who seemed to be faceless, just bodies swinging together to the rhythm of the music blasting out of the wall mounted speakers. Then she felt a hand on her shoulder. "Ellie? Is that you?" She turned around and exhaled, glad to find a familiar face.

Sean was sitting on Ellie's front porch when his phone began to ring. He picked it up and answered it in a hurry. "El?"

"Nope, try again Romeo," Jay's voice filled the phone. Sean had a hard time hearing Jay. It was as if there was music all around him.

"Jay? Where are you?"

"Hold on," Jay yelled, "I'm gonna step outside where we can talk." He heard movement on the other end and what he thought was music.

"Look Jay, I don't really wanna talk right now."

"Trouble in paradise?" He mused.

"Jay – " Sean was exasperated at this point. "Is there a point to this phone call?"

"Oh yeah man. I was just going to tell you I spotted a certain red-head, flying solo…."

"Where man?" Sean said, standing up.

"The rave I was telling you about."

"I forgot that was tonight. Why is she at a rave?" That didn't sound like Ellie.

"Well, I did see her come in with Marco, but they split up after they got in."

"Okay, so I'm gonna drive over there. Would you do me a favor and try to keep eyes on her. Call me if she starts to leave or anything."

"Well I'd much rather have my eyes glued to something else, if you know what I mean," Jay said, and Sean could just hear the smile on Jay's face. Sean started to protest, but Jay cut him off. "But, considering we're boys, I guess I can do this just one time."

"Hey man, thanks. I'll be there soon."

"Oh, Sean, one more thing. Someone else spotted your darling little red head."

"Who?"

"Craig Manning."

"Ellie, is that you?" Ellie turned around and exhaled, looking visibly relieved.

"Hi Craig," she said.

"What are you doing here?"

"Uh…you know just hanging out." Craig looked up and down.

"Wow, you look great. You're a tad overdressed for a rave though." Ellie became aware of Craig's eyes on her, and it made her blush a little uncomfortably, suddenly remembering the reality of her situation with Craig. According to Manny, Craig was in love with her. Now Ellie realized she'd known a lot of sources a lot more trustworthy than Manny Santos, but when it came to Craig, Manny didn't lie.

"I didn't exactly plan to come tonight. I didn't even know there was a rave tonight. I actually, I had plans with Sean." She said it matter-of-factly, or at least as much as she could muster of the manner. Craig nodded, his lips in a tight line.

"Well is everything ok?"

Ellie didn't know if she should be telling Craig this, but she really just didn't want to hold it in any longer. Her eyes started watering immediately. Her whole façade of strength was cracking and the pain was beginning to shine though. "No, Craig. Everything's falling apart." Craig grabbed her and pulled her into a hug.

"Hey, hey," he whispered in her ear, "it's gonna be ok." She cried into his shoulder for a bit. When she finally pulled away, he looked at her. "Let's go somewhere quieter. You can tell me all about it." He held out a hand, and Ellie felt like she was at a fork in the road, about to make a choice. She was in no state to be making decisions, but she made one anyway. She took Craig's hand and let him lead her away from the speakers. Surely there had to be a room in the building that you could carry on a conversation.

Manny had known that the rave was a bad idea, even before she walked in. It just didn't feel right, but she dolled that out to the nervousness. Usually she had Emma with her, not that she needed Emma to help her make choices or anything, but at least with Emma, she was with someone she knew. She was never alone. Here she was. But the bad idea part had really set in after she realized that Craig was here. He was the last person she wanted to see. Well really that was a lie: he was the only person she wanted to see. She missed him so much, but he didn't want her, so she was supposed to say he was the last person she wanted to see. So she tried to meld into the people and fade away to the other side of the room, but as fate would have it, every time she moved, Craig moved too. So she spent the night watching Craig from the corner of her eyes, remembering a night some time ago at a rave like this one where she and Craig had found each other in the crowds of people. She remembered how they'd danced together, how his arms felt around her body, how it felt when they kissed. And that's when she knew she couldn't take it anymore. She pulled out her phone. "Emma!" Manny yelled into the phone to be heard over the loud dance music.

"Manny? Where are you?"

"I'm at a rave. Craig's here. Emma, I can't handle it." Her voice cracked. "I need you to come get me Em."

Emma's heart went out to her friend. Manny had always had a weakness for Craig. She was such a strong person, but he was her kryptonite, the drug she preferred to take. Craig had always been a part of her life, ever since she'd set her eyes on him so long ago. Even when they weren't together, Manny had always had hope for the future they'd have together, but this time she felt that it was really over this time, and that broke her in a way that no one, not even Emma could fix. "Yeah, sure, I'll be there in a minute, ok? Just stay there." Emma knew exactly where the rave was. Everyone had been talking about it all week. She grabbed her keys and headed out to save her best friend.

Manny moved to the side of the room, trying to get away from all the dancing bodies that created a heat around her. It made her dizzy. She put a hand against the wall to steady herself, to feel something solid. She pressed her back into the wall and put her head down taking a breath to calm her rising anxiety. She suddenly wished she'd grabbed a drink. Alcohol would be nice now; it'd take the edge off for sure. She let her head rest on the wall, tilting it to one side. And that's when she saw it, or rather them: Craig and Ellie. It left Manny breathless. Craig was eyeing Ellie up and down, a look that Manny had known well. He used to give her that look all the time. They were just talking and then suddenly they were closer. Craig was holding her. Her Craig was holding Ellie. And when they pulled back, Craig held out a hand to her, and Manny felt her blood pressure. It hit an all-time high when Ellie reached out and took it. And just like that, she lost it. She watched Craig, the boy she loved, lead another girl back to another room. Manny felt her blood boiling. Ellie said she didn't want Craig. The last Manny checked, Ellie wanted Sean, but that tramp still had the audacity to take Craig's hand and let him take her some place where they'd be more alone. She started moving through the sea of people towards where they'd gone, and that's when she almost ran into someone. "Sorry," she said, when she looked up to see that she'd almost ran into Sean.

"Hey, Manny, have you seen Ellie?" Sean leaned in closer and practically yelled so that Manny would hear him. And just like that, a plan formed in Manny Santos's head, and she knew exactly what to do. She smiled at her own deviousness and took Sean's hand.

"Yeah, follow me, she went this way."


	13. Chapter 13: Disaster

I don't own Degrassi. Please enjoy Chapter 13. :)

Chapter 13: Disaster

Craig pulled Ellie into another room, shutting the door behind them. You could still hear the music blaring from the main floor, but a conversation could be held. Ellie sat down on top of an old table and dejectedly pushed a loose piece of hair out of her face. "So what happened?" Craig asked, coming towards her. Ellie waited until he'd taken a seat beside her to turn and look with him.

"Reality," she sighed. "You know I thought that Sean coming back was a sign, thought it meant that we belonged together. And he was different, he seemed better. I thought that maybe he had just been in Wasaga working on himself and his relationship with his parents. But it was all lies. Everything Sean told me was a lie, and I was dumb to believe it." She paused for a moment, but Craig didn't say anything. He just waited for her to continue. "I was supposed to go over there tonight. We were gonna have dinner at Sean's apartment, except when I got there, some girl answered the door, half-naked. She said she was Sean's girlfriend from Wasaga and that she didn't appreciate Sean's ex-girlfriend visiting him. She also basically took the time to confirm that everything Sean said about his time in Wasaga wasn't true. He didn't spend his time working out his issues. He spent his time living it up at parties with _Jennifer._ And the worst part is, I think they'd hooked up before I got there." She added extra venom when she said Jennifer, the bitterness of the situation obvious.

"He did what?!" Craig's anger was boiling. Of all the things Sean Cameron could do to mess things up, he'd cheated. Craig had cheated once, and it was the worst thing he'd ever done. He woke up everyday regretting it, knowing he'd hurt two girls tremendously in ways that he wasn't sure they'd ever recover from. Cheating was the most unforgiveable thing someone could do in a relationship, as Craig was well-aware, and the fact that Sean Cameron had done it to Ellie, had devastated her that way, made Craig hate him on a whole other level.

"I just feel so stupid, so betrayed. I mean, how could I not sense it? How could I believe that the guy, who left me, just completely cut me out of his life for months, would come back and piece everything back together? I mean, the only time that happens is in movies and books, never in real life. I just feel completely taken advantage of." She wiped away the tears from her eyes, and Craig put his arm around her, pulling her closer. She leaned her head on his shoulder, glad to have someone there comforting her. Despite the wacky rollercoaster her relationship with Craig had been on, she was glad that he was still there for her.

"El, trust me, it's not your fault in any way. Sean's an idiot for doing that to you. You're the most amazing person I've ever met, and one day Sean's going to wake up and realize that too, and he's gonna hate himself for doing this to you. I hate him for doing this to you, and the next time I see him, I'm gonna – "

"No, Craig, don't do anything the next time you see him," she cut in. Craig looked at her, obviously bewildered. "He's not worth it anymore. Don't waste your time and energy on him. I won't either. Besides we've got more important things to deal with, like our gig."

"El, you are way more important than some gig." Craig put in.

"Thanks Craig, and you might think I am, but Sean's most definitely not, and I'm not going to let him run my life. I'm not going to let his stupidity ruin me. I'm going to make it through this, and our gig might be the perfect distraction."

"Ok El, but if you ever need to talk about this or a shoulder to cry on, I'll be there for you. I'll help you through this." Ellie smiled weakly.

"Thanks, Craig." She felt a lot better since talking to Craig about what went down, because someone knew. She'd finally let what happened out in the universe, and Craig said he'd help her through the whole ordeal. She was glad to know she had a friend in Craig right now.

Emma fought her way inside and immediately became overwhelmed by the flashing lights and loud music. It was like a sensory overload. The amount of people packed tightly into the room created a heat that already had her sweating. She struggled through the crowd, looking for any sign of Manny. She pulled her phone out of her pocket to call, but thought better of it, realizing she probably wouldn't be able to hear with the music. She would just have to find Manny the old fashion way, by looking. She pushed through several people and spotted someone, who wasn't Manny. "MARCO!" Emma yelled, catching his attention. He turned around and pushed towards her.

"Emma?"

"Hey, have you seen Manny? She called and asked me to come get her. Apparently Craig's here. She sounded really upset on the phone." Marco leaned closer to her to hear better.

"I haven't seen her. Have you seen Ellie though? She came here with me, but I can't find her anywhere?"

"Wait a second, Craig's here, Manny's here, and Ellie's here. This doesn't sound good." Emma said. Marco looked around, in search for a red-head when he saw something else.

"I think it just got worse," he told Emma. Emma looked at him confused and Marco pointed behind her. She turned around to see Manny and Sean pushing through the people together.

"Oh God, Manny and Sean together, and Ellie and Craig missing in action! This is going to be a bloodbath. Come on, we've got to follow them!" Emma said, grabbing Marco's wrist and pulling him behind her towards Manny and Sean. Inwardly, Emma couldn't shake the feeling that Manny was up to something, something that would hurt multiple people in the process, probably Sean and Ellie. She had to stop this.

Sean let Manny pull him through the crowds of people, feeling uneasy about this. He knew that Manny wasn't on the best terms with Ellie, and she probably had something up her sleeve, but he wanted to find Ellie so bad, that was just a risk he'd have to take. Manny pulled him up to a door. She looked to him, and he nodded. She turned her hand around the doorknob and thrust the door open.

"Hey, we're talking here!" Craig called, looking up from his place next to Ellie on the table. Ellie inhaled sharply as she locked eyes with Sean. She didn't know what to say. Hell for a moment, she forgot how to breathe. Sean registered Craig, but didn't pay him any attention. He stepped forward.

"El, I need to talk to you."

"Sean," she rolled her eyes as the tears sprang up again, "I don't wanna talk to you. Trust me, I saw enough back at your apartment."

"But it's not what you think," he said, coming closer.

"Sean, just go away."

"No, Ellie, you have to understand. I – "

Craig stood up from the table now and stood in between Sean and Ellie. "Hey, Sean, she said she didn't want to talk to you. I think you should go."

"I think you should get out of my way so I can talk to my girlfriend." Sean said, unafraid of Craig.

Craig took another step towards Sean as Emma and Marco bolted in. "You think she's really still your girlfriend after you cheated on her? I think that's an automatic breakup."

"Why, because you have that first-hand experience? Besides, I didn't cheat. That's what I'm trying to tell you, El. I would never…."

"Save it Sean. The evidence doesn't seem to be in your favor. Now I suggest you leave, or I'm gonna make you leave." Craig said, closing the distance to just a few inches.

"Craig, get out of my way. Our relationship doesn't concern you."

"Guys, stop!" Emma called, but it did nothing.

"Craig, don't," Ellie weakly interjected, knowing full well she wouldn't be able to stop this.

"You don't have a relationship anymore. Get that through your head. I can't believe you would come back to town and do this to her." Craig screamed, pointing to Ellie. "Didn't you hurt her enough the first time around? Did you really have to come back and hurt her some more?"

"I would never do that to her. I LOVE HER!"

"Do you love that other girl too? What's her name, Jennifer?" Ellie cringed at the sound of the name.

"Guys, please stop." She begged. This wasn't what she wanted. Marco moved to the two guys.

"Hey, guys, come on now, cut it out. Violence isn't the answer."

"You don't understand as much as you think you do Craig, so you need to back up." Sean looked to Ellie, who was watching him with tears in her eyes.

"El, please, I can explain." He tried to walk around Craig, his attention focused solely on Ellie. That first step Sean took towards Ellie was one too many and Craig punched him, knocking him back a few steps. All three of the girls let out screams. Marco ran to try and hold Craig back.

Sean really wanted to hit Craig back, but realized that Ellie was more important. He turned his attention back to Ellie, who was almost gasping for air she was so shocked. He felt Emma and Manny beside him, asking if he was ok. But he didn't answer them and slowly their voices faded away. He just stared at Ellie, who stared back at him, broken, hurt. He'd caused that, even with something that wasn't true. He just stood there, staring at her, unsure of the next step. "El, please." But she just shook her head and rushed from the room. Sean lowered his head and sighed in defeat. He'd have to give her a little time.

Later on, it was just Sean and Emma. Manny was fawning over Craig, while Marco had left with Ellie. She looked at him. He looked devastated in a way she'd never seen before. "Sean, what happened?"

"I was supposed to cook dinner for Ellie tonight. I had everything ready and decided to take a quick shower. Well, when I got out, Ellie and Jennifer were standing in my apartment. Then Ellie ran away. I tried to catch her, but she'd disappeared from sight by the time I got outside. Then Jay called and told me he'd seen her at the rave. So I came, and here I am."

"Who's Jennifer?"

"Jennifer was a girl I met while I was in Wasaga. I really did work on my issues and my relationship with my parents while I was there, just not at first. At first I was really messed up after the whole shooting happened. All I wanted to do was forget. So I partied to numb everything, and it worked for a while, until one day I woke up and realized that's not what I wanted anymore. I missed my life. I missed Ellie; I missed how I felt when I was around her. I missed my friends. So then I started working to get better. I ended things with Jennifer, told her I had a girlfriend waiting on me if she'd take me back, but Jennifer is…crazy. She has issues she needs to work through. She threatened to ruin my chances with Ellie so I'd have to come back to Wasaga with her. I never thought she'd actually manage to do it though."

"So you really didn't cheat on Ellie?"

"No, I'd never do that. I love her so much Em. It hurts me that she would believe that I would do that, but that's probably the price I paid when I let her drive away from Wasaga. Now everything's ruined. She'll never forgive me."

"You need to tell her all this though. If she knew, things would be different."

"She won't give me the time to tell her! Trust me; I'm trying to tell her. I want her to be ok again. I want us to be ok again."

"Then you shouldn't stop trying until you get her to listen…." She trailed off and Sean looked at her. Her eyes were far off. She was deep in thought.

"Em, you ok?" Sean asked.

"I know how you can get her back." She looked at him, a small smile forming on her face. Manny may have been the one to try and tear them apart, but Emma would be the one to try and put them back together again, because she finally realized it. Sean loved Ellie, loved her in a way that was different from the way they'd loved each other. When she thought about Sean and Ellie, she had faith in love again, and she would give anything to keep them together. Not everyone found a love like they had, and more often than none, not everyone got to keep it, but she would do everything in her power to make sure Sean and Ellie did.


	14. Chapter 14: A Kiss and A Song

Sorry it's been so long. Two days until school and still so much summer work to do. But here's chapter 14. Note: I don't own Degrassi, nor do I own the Britney Spears song I used in this chapter. It's a fabulous little song called "Out from Under" from her Circus album. Give it a listen if it's your style. I know I listened to it when writing this chapter a lot. :)

Chapter 14: A Kiss and A Song

"Tonight's the night," Emma couldn't help but cheese a bit. She and Sean sat on her front porch, the cool breeze blowing in between them. Sean chuckled a bit and nodded.

"Yeah, hey, listen Em, I just wanted to….say thanks." She turned her head to the side.

"For what?"

"I mean, you're the one who came up with the idea, and you help me put it all together."

"It's not a big deal. I feel like it's the least I could do. You and Ellie have something special. I see it when you're together. You know, I've only seen a few examples of what love looked, but you and Ellie have it, and I think it's a waste to just throw that away."

"Yeah, I just hope it works. I hope she listens to me. I miss her, ya know. I don't sleep at night, because all I can see when I close my eyes is her face when it all went down. She was just, so, broken, so betrayed, and that was the worst thing I've ever seen. You know when I was in Wasaga, even when I was out partying, I would just stop and think about how she was, what she was feeling, if she was moving on or by chance holding on, and nothing that I came up with in my mind was anywhere as awful as what I saw that night." It had been a week since he'd heard her voice, a week since he'd seen her, and he missed her acutely, more than he'd missed anyone before.

"You're different with her," Emma noted, pushing a piece of blonde hair behind her ear.

"Yeah, I know. I'm better with her. She makes me wanna be better. Like when I'm around her, I feel like life is right. I feel happy, but a special happy, a happy I can only feel when I'm with her. She's literally the most amazing person I've ever met, and I love her. I just love her."

"You know Sean, I used to think that we were perfect together, that no matter how much we seemed to fight or swear we were done, we would always find a way to fix it and make it work. I used to think that we would put aside all the things that seemed to be keeping us apart and end up together because that's what you do when you're in love. And then you left for Wasaga, but I just knew you'd come back one day, and then you did, but you didn't come back for me. You came back for Ellie, and at first, it really broke me because I was still holding on to us, and I assumed that somewhere deep down, you were too. I thought what we had was true love, I really did. And I thought I'd be the one to save you, to make you whole, but I couldn't do that because she already had." Emma sniffled from where her eyes had watered from the emotional memories that were running through her head.

"We saved each other. We were both at really bad places when we got together. I was falling in with a bad crowd, and she was drowning in anxiety, and we pulled each other up. I'll be forever grateful to her for helping me out of that place. I don't ever want to go there again." Sean looked at Emma, his eyes squinted from the glare of the sun on Emma's face. Sean took the time to check the time on his phone and stood, pulling Emma up too. "I should go."

Emma checked the time too and looked at him with a confused look. "Where are you going? It's not even time for the gig to start."

"I wanna go wish her good luck." Emma smiled sweetly at him as he backed up and turned around, walking down the sidewalk.

"Hey Sean," Emma said softly. Sean turned to look at her, "Go get her." Sean shook his head and kept walking.

Ellie had been nervous all day, ever since she'd woken up. Today was the day the band had been practicing for, the day of their gig. Ellie hadn't talked to anyone today, and she ached to hear someone's voice. Well, secretly she wanted to hear Sean's voice, but that was twisted because all Sean's voice did was bring her pain. All she could do was imagine him with Jennifer and picture the scene in the apartment, how the clothes had gotten littered all around, how Jennifer came to be half-naked, dressed in one of Sean's only dress shirts. It was more than she wanted to think about, but she thought about it constantly. It invaded her at every free moment and it was really beginning to tear her apart. She'd spent several nights not sleeping and several early mornings on the phone with Craig. Craig, she was pleased, had stayed true to his word and had been there for her through the week. He'd counseled her through her crying sessions and literally took her calls at all hours of the day, which she figured was probably taking just as much a toll on him as it was on her, but he never once complained. He was a good friend, and she was glad that he was coming to get her to take her to the gig.

She couldn't sit still. When she allowed herself to do that, she thought about it all, and she was tempted to call him. And that would just be like asking for pain, so she paced around the house instead. She looked at the clock every five seconds and wondered if this was what insanity felt like. She didn't really have a baseline, but that's what it felt like for her. Her whole existence was revolved around not thinking about Sean, which in a way was still thinking about him….constantly. She sighed and tapped her fingertips against the wall as she walked along the hallway in her house. Then she heard a knock on her door and nearly jumped through her skin. She walked to the door and held her breath, hoping that Craig was at the door, though secretly inside her, in a part of her that was hidden deep within, a part of her that she would never admit to having wished it was Sean at the door. She turned her hand around the doorknob and cracked the door open, sighed, then threw it open.

"Hey El," Craig said as he walked in.

"Hey," She tried to smile, but she gave off a cracked façade that showed just how shaken up she was.

"You okay?" He asked, looking concerned.

"Yeah," She said, nodding her head and giving another fake smile, but both of them knew she was lying.

"El, you know you can tell me," Craig said, coming closer to her and rubbing his hands on her forearms gently. She looked down at the floor trying to contain her composure.

"Yeah I know. It's just the same stuff you know. I'm still recovering from having my heart ripped out and smashed into tiny pieces." She used sarcasm to keep the tears away, because she'd cried too much in front of Craig already. He probably saw her as a pathetic girl still pining for a guy who obviously didn't want her enough to cheat on her, but she couldn't help it: she was human after all. Craig gave her a sympathetic look and grabbed her arm.

"Come on, we're gonna try something different." He pulled Ellie out to the garage. Ellie looked out of the open door and saw the Canadian skyline, sighing, not understanding why she was here.

"What are we doing?" She asked looking around. Craig pulled a karaoke machine out of the corner of the room, blowing dust off of it. "I forgot I had that old thing. What are you doing with it?"

"You're going to sing."

"Me sing? Craig, last time I checked I was the drummer."

"No, you're going to pick a song that describes how you're feeling and you're gonna belt it. It'll make you feel better, I promise." He handed Ellie a microphone and turned the machine on.

"Craig, this is pointless. I don't think it's going to help. And besides, it's silly."

"No, come on, do this. It'll help, I promise." He gave her a reassuring smile and Ellie fumbled through the track listing until she found one she liked. She went to select it and hesitated.

"But I'm a bad singer," she half-whined.

"Press the button El. I'm sure you'll sound beautiful. I'll sit here and listen to you. I'm here for you, you know."

"Thanks Craig." She pressed the button and she heard slow music drifting in. She swayed awkwardly to the music, unsure of what to do. She wasn't a singer, a lead performer. She was barely a drummer.

"Breath you out, Breath you in. You keep coming back to tell me you're the one who could have been. And my eyes see it all so clear. It was long ago and far away but it never disappears. I try to put it in the past, hold on to myself, and don't look back. I don't wanna dream about all the things that never were. Maybe I can live without when I'm out from under. I don't wanna feel the pain, what good would it do me now? I'll get it all figured out when I'm out from under." She sighed. This song made her want to cry. The beat pulsed through her body as she took a breath to start the next verse. Craig stood in the corner, listening to her voice. She wasn't as bad as she claimed to be. "So let me go, just let me fly away. Let me feel the space between us growing deeper and much darker every day. Watch me now and I'll be someone new. My heart will be unbroken. It will open up for everyone but you. Even when I cross the line, it's like a lie I've told a thousand times. I don't wanna dream about all the things that never were. Maybe I can live without when I'm out from under. I don't wanna feel the pain, what good would it do me now? I'll get it all figured out when I'm out from under."

She walked forward toward the Canadian skyline she'd been staring at, really feeling the words now. They were exactly how she felt. It was her life right now. It was her relationship with Sean. It was all the pain she felt and the tears she'd cried and the lies she'd believed. "And part of me still believes when you say you're gonna stick around. And part of me still believes we can find a way to work it out. But I know that we tried everything we could try, so let's just say goodbye forever….I don't wanna dream about all the things that never were. Maybe I can live without when I'm out from under. I don't wanna feel the pain. What good would it do me now? I'll get it all figured out when I'm out from under. I don't wanna dream about all the things that never I can live without when I'm out from under. I don't wanna feel the pain. What good would it do me now? I'll get it all figured out when I'm out from under, when I'm out from under…."

The music faded off and Ellie felt the water in her eyes. She reached up and wiped them off. She turned her head in Craig's direction and he was much closer than the last time he'd looked. He was right there, inches from her face, and she felt him inching closer to her. Soon she felt his lips brush against hers. He'd surprised her. She pulled away quickly and turned her face down. "Craig," She sighed. She stood and walked away, dropping the mic to the floor.

"El, I'm sorry, but I can't help it. Ellie don't walk away from me." Ellie walked towards the house. She couldn't believe Craig had done that. Why did he do that? She couldn't handle this. "Ellie," he grabbed her arm. "El, I've been meaning to tell you something for weeks."

"Craig, don't say it." She begged as she pulled her arm away and kept walking.

"Ellie I love you." She stopped in her tracks and silently gasped, eyes going wide, tears still sliding down her face. "I'm in love with you. I just thought you should know." She stood there in silence. "El, say something please."

"Craig I can't. I can't do this right now." She said and she walked into the house, shutting the door behind her. Craig sighed and banged on the door.

"Ellie!" He closed his eyes and rested his head against the door.

Sean had been approaching Ellie's house, when he'd heard the music start. He watched from a safe distance as she sang her song. It broke his heart. She was so broken, so hurt. He'd hurt her, albeit without even trying, but he was still the cause. He sighed, holding flowers in his hand. Then as the song ended, his heartbeat quickened as he watched Craig walk towards her. He was too close to her now. Then he kissed her. He felt his own heart breaking slightly…until she pulled away and walked away from Craig. "Ellie I love you." Sean heard Craig say. Ellie stopped and stood there as Craig babbled on about being in love with her. "El, say something please." He watched Ellie from the background that no one noticed.

"Craig I can't. I can't do this right now." And then she was gone, inside the house, locked away from Craig and the outside world, and for the first time in seven days, Sean had hope.


	15. Chapter 15: My Gift is My Song

Okay guys, sorry it's been so long. I've started school again and will now probably update on the weekends. Anyway, thanks for sticking with me this far. :) I appreciate it. Feel free to read and review. Let me know what you think. I don't own Degrassi, but I do own the original song Craig sings. Sorry it's kinda cheesy. I'm not the best songwriter ever. :)

Chapter 15: My Gift is My Song

Eventually Ellie knew she would have to come out of the house. They had a gig. But she couldn't process what just happened or how she felt about it. She knew that Craig had been in loved with her. Manny had told her that much. But knowing and experiencing it were two completely different things, as Ellie was now finding out. She could still feel the warmth on her lips where Craig had kissed her. She licked her lips and rubbed them viciously, as if trying to wipe the kiss away. It felt wrong. It just felt wrong. Ellie sighed and sat down on the couch. She could still hear Craig outside the door, but she couldn't face him. She couldn't see him. She was confused to say the least, because when Craig had kissed her, she recoiled and only had one thought: Sean. But she shouldn't be thinking about Sean, not after what he did. But even with what he'd done, she badly wanted to hear his voice right now.

She pulled her phone out of her pocket and stared at it for a long time, trying to make a choice. She set it on the couch arm and put her head in her hands. Why did everything have to be so complicated right now? She and Sean weren't supposed to be complicated. Then she looked up and it was as if a light bulb had gone off. She and Sean didn't have to be complicated. She was making them complicated. She grabbed the phone and dialed the number, tapping her fingers nervously against the couch's fabric.

"Hello." Ellie's eyes went wide as she recognized the voice on the other end of the phone. It wasn't Sean, not by a long shot. Ellie ended the call and stared at the phone as if it wasn't real, still in disbelief, her mind slowly wrapping around it. Jennifer had answered his phone. If everything Sean had been trying to tell her was true, why was Jennifer answering his phone? If she answered his phone, they had to be together. They were probably at his place….

Suddenly she felt her anger rising and rising until it was boiling over the top. She thrust her phone across the room where it hit the floor loudly with a bang. She was done. That was it, the chapter closed. Sean had lied to her again, and it was all she could take. Whatever he was trying to rope her into was unhealthy, and she'd had enough unhealthy moments and relationships in her short life. She stood up and finally realized the truth in the statement "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." And she was determined to look that way too. She went to the door and opened it, finding Craig sitting down beside it. He looked up to meet her face. "EL!" He practically yelled, jumping up.

"Come on, we have a gig to play." She said, shutting the door behind her.

"Yeah, yeah we do," Craig added, unsure of the big elephant in the room that apparently didn't exist. They walked to Craig's car and got in. Craig didn't start the car right away. Instead he looked out the window, then looked at her. "El," he started, but Ellie cut him short.

"Not right now Craig. We'll have plenty of time to talk about it later." She said, looking away from him. He wanted to sigh, but he didn't want to appear like her statement had bothered him. He just nodded instead and started the car, driving off.

Emma dug through the crowds of people. The music festival was beyond crowded. How was she going to find Sean in this mess? Then as if fate had designed it, she nearly bumped into him. "Hey Em," he said.

"Hey, I tried to call you. There was no answer."

Sean looked at her, felt in his pockets, and shrugged. "I must have left it at home."

"Oh. Well did you see Ellie?"

"No. I went to her house to talk to her, but Craig was there with her. He told her he was in love with her and kissed her."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Emma said after stumbling for words. She wasn't expecting that.

"No don't be. She didn't kiss him back. I think it freaked her out actually."

"Oh, well…that's….good?" Emma said, unsure of what it was. They were moving toward the front toward the stage where Downtown Sasquatch was going to perform. Sean's big surprise gesture of love for Ellie was planned to go down after their show. Sean would never have admitted it, but he was nervous. His stomach was in knots, the butterflies nibbling here and there. He wanted everything to go perfectly. He wanted to win her back. If this didn't work, he'd resigned that nothing would, but somewhere deep inside he felt that it would work. He felt that she was just as lost as he was, just as hurt, just as empty.

"What time is it?" Sean asked, impatiently.

"It's about five minutes until show time. Don't worry Sean: this is going to work. It's going to work out for you two." She gave him a reassuring smile, and all he could do was nod and hope she was right.

Everything was set up, and the show would start in about five minutes. Ellie set behind her drums, trying to keep her mind focused on being confident and over the whole thing with Sean. She also tried to keep her mind clear of Craig and his kiss because she might be moving on from Sean, but that didn't mean she was ready to deal with the Craig situation. She decided to tackle that in a day or two. Right now, the show was what was important. She was going to rock out tonight and play the best drums she'd ever played.

Craig was up front at the microphone, while Marco and Jimmy were standing by their instruments, waiting for the gig to start. Craig turned around and addressed his band. "Okay guys, huddle up." They all walked toward each other, meeting in the center of the stage. "So here we are. This is what we've been practicing for. This is what we've been training for, what we've been preparing for for weeks. So let's go out there and rock! Let's show them who Downtown Sasquatch is!" The other three members of the band liked Craig's encouraging speech, but laughed at the same time." Craig looked at each one of them, "What, too much?" Marco laughed even harder.

"I was waiting for the director to yell 'Cut!'" Craig shoved him playfully and they all drifted back to their spots. They could hear the announcer talking to the crowd on the other side of the curtain.

"Without further ado, here's your own Downtown Sasquatch!" And then the curtain was up. Craig gave them all one last look and nodded. They knew the routine. They all started playing their first song. It was an upbeat jam that Craig had written of course. It got the crowd moving for sure. Ellie looked out into the crowd, mesmerized by all the people who'd come to the music festival to watch them perform. The song ended and the band soaked up all the applause that the crowd threw at them.

"Hey guys! We're Downtown Sasquatch! How is everybody tonight?! Good? Are you enjoying the music festival?!" Craig said, walking further out front when he addressed the crowd. "Do you guys wanna hear another song?" He asked, and the crowd applauded. "Good, then let's rock!" And the band started another song.

The band played song after song going down their set-list until they came to the last one. It was a slower song that Craig had written. It was a song about the uncertainty of the future. It was one of Craig's better songs lyric wise, but Ellie always preferred to end shows with an upbeat song, but Craig had changed the set-list last minute and decided to go with a slower paced song. Ellie wasn't really needed much on this song. It was more of an acoustic song. She just sat back and watched. She wasn't needed until almost the end of the song, and even then, she was only needed for a couple of lines.

Craig strummed his guitar and leaned closer to the microphone. "Okay guys, this is our last song for tonight. I know, I know, but all good things must come to an end. This is a slower song that I wrote. I hope you don't mind. It was inspired by someone special." Ellie was puzzled by that. She didn't know that anyone had inspired that song. She thought hard and decided that maybe Manny had inspired it when they were together.

"**She could light the whole world with her smile**," He started out slowly. Ellie was caught off guard. This wasn't the same song. He'd changed the words. Marco and Jimmy looked just as confused as she did.

"**And she's got fire red hair that just goes on for miles. **

**She's like a summer day in the winter, **

**And when she's gone, all I do is miss her. **

**She's got a voice that keeps me wound up, begging for more, **

**And it kills me every time she walks out the door…**

**Because I wanna be the one who holds her tight**

**The one who gets to kiss her goodnight **

**The one who she calls in the middle of the night **

**Just so I can tell her everything's gonna be alright. **

**I wanna be the one she's always looking for **

**I wanna be the one that she adores, **

**I wanna be the one who holds her hand…**

**Yeah I just wanna be her man." **

From the audience, Emma and Sean could barely believe their ears. "He wrote a song about…." Emma started, but she let her voice drift off.

"It's about her. He wrote a song about her," Sean finished for her. He was straight faced, expression not revealing the shock he felt. He looked at Ellie by her drums, and she looked just as stunned.

**She's beautiful even with tears in her eyes **

**And I wanna be the one to dry those eyes **

**She draws me into her gravity **

**And I orbit around her until it just unnerves me.**

**I never knew what I was looking for **

**But now I know in my heart's very core... **

**I wanna be the one who holds her tight **

**The one who gets to kiss her goodnight **

**The one who she calls in the middle of the night **

**Just so I can tell her everything's gonna be alright. **

**I wanna be the one she's always looking for **

**I wanna be the one that she adores, **

**I wanna be the one who holds her hand…**

**Yeah I just wanna be her man.**

**She's all I ever wanted; I can't believe I couldn't see it **

**And when I did, I couldn't believe it. **

**She'd been right in front of me all this time. **

**And now I'll go home and dream about her tonight…**

**Because I wanna be the one who holds her tight. I wanna be the one who kisses her at night. I wanna be…."**

Ellie almost missed her cue; she was so shocked by the song. She remembered just in time and began some dramatic drumming.

"**The one who she calls in the middle of the night **

**Just so I can tell her everything's gonna be alright!**

**I wanna be the one she's always looking for **

**Because she's the one that I adore!**

**I just wanna hold her hand, and yeah I just wanna be her man." **The song started winding down to the last notes. Ellie's drum part was over and she stood up, not sure what she was doing. But whatever it was, she was doing it.

"**Her man, her man, her man." **She walked past Marco and Jimmy who were watching her, wondering what she was doing, shocked eyes.

"**I just wanna be her man." **She was right there now as Craig's voice faded out of the microphone. He saw her from the corner of his eyes and turned to look at her as the last chords of the music went through the speakers. He leaned away from the microphone. "El," He whispered. She stared at him for a second before closing the space between them, wrapping her arms around his neck, and kissing him. The crowd went wild. Marco and Jimmy didn't know how to act. They just stood there, watching the scene unfold.

The scene burned Sean's eyes. He wanted to look away because it made him hurt to see it, but he couldn't stop watching. He had to look, to see what she was doing. When he finally had enough, he turned away and disappeared into the crowd, not even saying anything to Emma. "Sean," she called. "Sean wait!" But he has gone. She sighed. She hadn't been expecting this. Their plan was ruined.


	16. Chapter 16: Please Don't Go

Here we go. I decided to update ASAP since it's been so long. :) Feel free to read and comment, tell me what you think or express your angst over the plot twist that's recently occurred. :) Go for it. I don't own Degrassi.

Chapter 16: Please Don't Go

Emma rushed through the crowds of people. She could feel everyone's sticky, hot skin trying to stick to hers as she pushed past this person and that person. She'd lost sight of Sean. She'd been able to keep him in her line of eyesight for a while, but Sean was fast, especially when he was angry or hurt or trying to get away from something. And he was definitely trying to get away. Emma could barely believe what had just happened, and it made her heart go out to Sean. A misunderstanding had torn apart their relationship, and Ellie had decided to close that chapter and begin a new one, but she didn't know. If only she knew….which gave Emma an idea, one that she would have to put into action later. Her number one priority now was to find Sean and make sure he didn't do anything stupid.

The clouds in the sky had turned darker as the night went on. How fitting, Emma thought, that rain was on its way in a time when her friend was hurting, probably in an acute way. She knew the rain would come soon and quickened her pace, determined to beat it. By the time she broke through the last of the people, Sean was nowhere to be found, but she knew a couple of places she could probably find him at. So she set to work trying to find him.

Sean walked up the stairs towards his apartment, suddenly remembering Emma and feeling bad that he left her there alone. But he had to get out of there. He couldn't stop thinking about it. Craig and Ellie were burned into his mind, so as much as he wanted to forget about it, he couldn't. He sighed as he pulled his keys out of his pocket to unlock his door. All he wanted to do was crawl into bed and let the darkness consume him. He hoped the solitude would do wonders for him, even though he already knew it wouldn't. All it would do was make the wound fester, but he was tired, emotionally exhausted, and he needed to lie down.

He opened the door to find the lights on. His bathroom door opened and Jennifer came out in a towel, with another towel wrapped around her hair. Sean would have been angry, but he was too far gone to feel anything except tired. "What are you doing here? I told you to leave days ago."

"Oh Sean, I knew you were just a bit upset. So I gave you some space for a few days, but you know I wouldn't leave you. I love you too much." She perkily said, smiling and walking toward him.

Sean rubbed his eyes. "How did you even get in here? I know I locked the door."

"Oh," She shrugged, "I asked for an extra set of keys. I hope you don't mind."

"Are you really this psychotic? When are you going to get the picture: I don't love you? I never did. I was always in love with Ellie."

"Well she doesn't seem to love you so much."

Sean was starting to get a little irritated now. This girl was seriously the most stubborn stalker he'd ever met. "That's because you ruined our relationship with your little stunt."

"All I did was tell the girl the truth Sean. That's what normal people do: tell the truth. Besides you can't have a relationship based on lies. That's why we work so well together. We came into this relationship knowing exactly where the other stood." Sean threw his hands up in defeat. He was never going to win with her. The thing about Jennifer was she couldn't see sense. Sean expected it was all the alcohol and drugs she'd consumed over the years. It probably messed her up pretty bad.

"Please just get dressed and get out. I need to be alone right now."

Jennifer walked over to a bag that was on Sean's couch. She pulled out a pair of jeans and a green T-shirt. "Fine, I came do that. I can tell you need some time. She pulled on her clothes right there in front of Sean and grabbed her bag, slinging it over her arm. She walked to the door, and Sean was surprised that she was going without a fight. She opened the door and looked back, a look of fake surprise suddenly crossing her face, "Oh, by the way, you left your phone here. Ellie called. I answered the phone; I thought it'd be rude not too. I hope you don't mind."

Sean's eyes went wide. "You did WHAT?"

"But don't worry. I didn't really say anything. She hung up right after I said 'Hello.' I was a little offended actually."

"God Jennifer, just…get out!" Sean managed. She smiled lovingly.

"Okay, I'll call you later." She spoke so cheerfully. Sean rolled his eyes.

"I won't answer."

"I have a feeling you will."

"No," Sean said, "I really won't. Now get out." She shook her head and finally exited the apartment, shutting the door lightly behind her.

Sean went to his bedroom and collapsed on his bed, wishing he'd never got mixed up with Jennifer. He'd never known a girl who could come in and deliberately ruin everything, leaving a trail of destruction in her wake. He was at a loss for how to handle the situation. She just wouldn't understand that he didn't want to be with her. He'd never really had a relationship with her. Relationship means trust and love. What he'd had with Jennifer was…a mistake. It was a way for him to drown his sorrows. It was hard to explain and he couldn't even remember why he'd done it in the first place, only that he wished he hadn't.

Sean woke up, not really realizing that he'd drifted off to sleep. He couldn't have slept very long, maybe twenty minutes. But it was as if he'd been sleeping for days. He felt heavy with sleep, like he needed to get up and shake it off. He blinked slowly several times as memories suddenly came pounding back to him. He sighed and got up. He'd had a lot of time to think about things in his dreaming state. And he dreamed up a solution, one that he didn't like, but one that seemed to fit best. He really hated it. There was nothing about it that appealed to him, but he couldn't come up with anything else. He was at a loss for another option, so by default, he had to go with his first instinct. He rolled to the side of the bed and grabbed his phone. He dialed a number. "Hey Jennifer, it's me…."

Emma hadn't beaten the rain. It poured down on her as she made her way to her last resort: Sean's apartment. She'd been a couple of other places looking for him, but he hadn't been there. Now it seemed so obvious. Why wouldn't Sean go home? Emma felt annoyed with herself that she didn't immediately come here first. She darted up the stairs, moving quickly to his door. She banged on the door. "Sean! Sean, open up! It's Emma."

Sean opened the door and stared at Emma. "Hey Em."

"Sean, I've been looking everywhere for you. I went to the Dot and the –"

"Sorry Em," he said, taking in her soaked clothes, "I just needed to be alone. I came straight home. I'm sorry you got stuck in the rain." Emma's face softened considerably.

"No Sean, it's fine." She said, rubbing her hands against her skin on her arms, trying to force the chill away. Sean noticed and let her into the apartment. He walked to the bathroom and got her a towel so she could try to dry off.

"Do you want some dry clothes?" He asked, but Emma wasn't looking at him. She was looking at the boxes. Then she was looking at Jennifer who came out of the bedroom, asking who was there, carrying some of Sean's things to the closest box and dumping them in there.

"Sean, are you leaving?" She asked.

"Oh, um…yeah."

"What are you thinking Sean?! Why are you leaving?!" She couldn't believe this! What was he thinking?!

"Well, I came back for El. We gave it another shot, and it didn't work –"

"The only reason it didn't work is because of that girl over there!" Emma angrily pointed at Jennifer, who stood up straighter at the words, her face puffing out in discontent.

"Sean are you going to let her talk to me like that?!" Jennifer chirped, but Sean ignored her and kept his focus on Emma.

"Emma, it doesn't really why it didn't work, it didn't work. And she made it perfectly clear tonight that she's done and that she wants to move on. I figured I'd just make it easier for her by packing up and leaving. Maybe she can finally have some peace."

"Sean Cameron, I've never known you to be a quitter or a coward. But if you leave and go back to Wasaga, you'll be proving to me that you're both. What you and Ellie have, that's worth fighting for. So stay here and fight. Show her that it doesn't matter, that you'll always love her and that you're willing to fight for her."

"Emma, it's not that easy when she doesn't want me to fight for her."

"How do you know that?" Emma demanded, hands on hips.

"I think it was pretty obvious tonight. Now call me crazy, but I think kissing another guy is a pretty clear cut way of saying she doesn't want me. She doesn't want me here to fight for her. She wants Craig. She told a whole crowd at the music festival that."

"For all you know, she could've been caught up in the moment. It's not like it's never happened before."

"It doesn't matter Emma. She won't take my calls. She hates me. She hates me for what she thinks I did to her."

Emma shook her head, beyond frustrated with Sean. "I don't know what to tell you Sean. All I know is that if I had a love like that I would never stop fighting for it, but maybe that's just me."

"Emma, trust me, I want it to be different. I do, but I don't think there's anything I can do to make it different." He told her as she walked to the door. She stopped in the doorway and looked back at him, hand on the doorknob, blonde hair dripping water onto the floor.

"You know what the saddest thing is: you're just walking away. You're making the conscious decision to leave. Sean, I can't keep you here; that has to come from you. But if you walk away, I'll never forgive you…and neither will Ellie." And with that, she was gone, and all that was left in her place was a path of water and an open door. Sean sighed and sat down on the couch.

"Sean, you're ex-girlfriends are annoying. Now come on, get off that couch so we can keep packing. I'd like to go back to Wasaga. I don't like Toronto. There aren't enough parties." She whined. Sean rolled his eyes.

"Hold on Jen. I just need to think for a minute."

"What's there to think about?" She said, recoiling slightly and getting irritated.

"I don't know." Sean said. He was so unsure, more than ever now.

Emma hadn't been home long. She was still in her rain soaked clothes even. She hadn't had much time to do anything when she heard a pounding on her door. The desperateness of the knock literally sent waves of panic through the air. Emma's heart was beating quickly as she raced down the stairs and to the door. She threw open the door, "What's wrong?" She asked before she even knew who was at the door. "Sean?" She asked. "Are you okay? Is something wrong?" And without any sort of reply Sean leaned in and kissed her.


	17. Chapter 17: Faith and Promises

Here you go guys, Chapter 17. I'll try to update again either later tonight or tomorrow. :) Please feel free to review and leave your thoughts on the chapter or the story. I don't own Degrassi.

Chapter 17: Faith and Promises

Emma pushed Sean away from her almost instantly. "Sean! What the hell?" Sean looked at her urgently.

"Emma, what if I am supposed to stay here, but not for El, but for you? What if I came back for Ellie but it didn't work out because it's not supposed to work with her? What if it's supposed to work out with you? You did tell me you were still in love with me when I first came back. Em, what if it's supposed to be me and you until the end? All those other times don't matter, what if it works this time?

"Sean, you're only here because you're frustrated that things with Ellie seem like they're over."

"You don't understand. Ellie doesn't care if I stay or go. You're the one who was pounding on my door begging me to stay."

"I was begging for you to stay **for Ellie**, not me."

"But what if I'm supposed to stay for you?" He said. He looked confused, and Emma sighed.

"Sean, I don't love you anymore." Emma tried to explain.

"It wasn't too long ago that you did. Feelings like that don't go away so fast." He was exasperated. What was she saying? It wasn't so long ago. She still had to love him.

"They do when you realize the person you love is in love with someone else." She spoke softly. It had been hard to grapple with at first for her too. The realization that Sean would never love her the way she'd loved him. And yet, here he was on the heels of her moving on, and if he'd done this a month ago she would've jumped at the chance to be with him again, but now she knew better.

"What if I'm supposed to be in love with you?" Emma was taken aback by Sean's uncertainty. The desperation in his eyes and face made her sad for him. She looked back at him, her own face soft and concerned.

"But you don't love me," She almost whispered, "Do you?" He looked at her and took a few deep breaths. He rubbed his eyes. He was exhausted. He'd felt so many emotions in such a short span of time that he didn't know quite what he felt anymore. He was tired of all this feeling. He just wanted to feel one thing, and he dug deep in him trying to find one emotion to settle on. Maybe that would help clear his head. And suddenly he found it, and he sighed. He sat down on Emma's front steps, and she followed suit. He looked at her, his face still.

"No," he finally said. It was low, almost inaudible. Emma nodded, expecting as much, but it hurt just a little bit even still. "No, I don't love you."

"Because you love – " She began and Sean jumped in before she could finish.

"Because I love Ellie."

"Yeah," Emma said. "And I know things may look a little bleak now, but everything will work out for you two."

"I don't see it turning out too well Em. Sorry, I can't share your enthusiasm for bad situations. I mean, how can you possibly think this is going to turn out well? Okay, she thinks I cheated on her and won't listen to me long enough to let me convince her that I didn't. And even though I didn't cheat on her, I still broke her heart. I don't think it ever really recovered from the first time. And now, the thing with Craig. I say the chances of this turning out well are getting worse by the day."

"You just have to have faith." Emma gave a small smile of hope.

"How can you have faith in this?"

"Because I have faith in love and if there's one thing you have for Ellie Nash, it's love. And she may not see it right now, but she will. You just wait and see Sean, she will."

They sat in silence for a bit, watching the rain drops hit the street. Sean couldn't believe he'd come over here to try and fix things with Emma. He didn't remember why he thought that was the best plan. He wasn't in love with Emma. He hadn't been for a while. All his feelings for her died with their ending relationship that could never seem to work out. Sean had looked for a single emotion to focus on, to feel, and it was his love for Ellie that he'd finally grabbed on to there in the darkness of his soul. And that was one thing he knew that he couldn't give up on. Emma was right. He just had to have faith in that.

"So you're staying?" Emma broached, breaking the silence around them like the pavement broke the rain droplets, sending them scattering across the street.

"Yeah, I need to go actually. I've got a lot of unpacking to do." He stood up and pulled Emma up beside him. He hugged her. "Thanks Emma."

She hugged him back, smiling. "Anytime."

Sean went home. Jennifer had already left. He'd sent her on her way before running to Emma's. All his stuff was still packed in boxes. He pulled a random one to him and opened it up, pulling stuff out of it. It was a bunch of clothes. He pulled them out and sat them on the floor, and pulled out a picture that he'd hidden in the bottom of the box so that Jennifer wouldn't find it. It was a photo of him and Ellie. He took it and the clothes back into his bedroom, throwing the clothes messily on the bed and placing the picture neatly on his nightstand, just to remind him to have faith.

Craig and Ellie ran for cover from the rain. They rushed into Craig's garage, laughing all the way, adrenaline pumping through their veins. "That was amazing!" Ellie smiled. "The show went great. You were brilliant!"

"Not as brilliant as you," Craig said, smirking. Ellie laughed again.

"Are you kidding me? You had the crowd entranced in the music. And that song, that last song, it was incredible. The crowd was so into it. I'm pretty sure I saw some lighters and cell phones being held up."

"Well I do think you get some credit for that song. You were my muse after all." She stared at him, smiling sweetly before crossing the room to him. She ran a hand through his hair and she leaned into him, kissing him. She could feel him smiling as he responded to her, walking her backwards until she hit the edge of the couch.

"Craig, I'm gonna fall," She laughed in between kisses. They wobble slightly before she fell over the couch's edge into the soft cushions, laughing uncontrollably. She sat up and scooted over so Craig could sit beside her. He was glad to hear her happy, and she was happy to be happy, to be laughing. She laid her head on Craig's shoulder and he loved the feeling. "Craig, why'd you write that song for me?" He turned his head slightly and she looked up at him. He kissed her forehead gently.

"I needed you to know how I felt about you. Ellie, you're the most amazing girl I've ever met. I can't believe it took me this long to realize how perfect you are."

"I'm hardly perfect," she said, looking down.

"The funny thing is you are, and you don't even see it. And that makes you even more perfect that before. Ellie…"

She looked at him, waiting for him to continue because she could tell that he had more to say. The way her name flowed through his lips sounded good, although somehow not as sweet as she'd thought it would. Suddenly like clockwork, she knew what he was going to say, and her eyes went wide. She opened her mouth to stop it, but it was too late.

"Ellie, I love you." He'd said it. Ellie turned her focus away from him, and looked at her knees, trying to make it seem like there was something interesting enough about them to stare at.

"Oh Craig, don't say that," she quickly said.

"Why not, El, it's the truth. I'm in love with you."

"Craig, no, don't, ok? I just had my heart broken by a guy who came back to Toronto to tell me he loved me. He loved me enough to cheat on me. I don't want to jump back into a relationship with the immediate 'I love yous,' okay."

"Yeah, okay, El, I get it, I really do. I just want you to know something. Look at me please El," he said, pausing until Ellie looked up at him. He took one of her hands in his and ran his other hand through her long, red hair. "I would never hurt you that way. I care too much about you to do something like that to you."

"Don't make promises you can't keep," she whispered, suddenly feeling sad.

"I won't make any of those, I promise, I can keep this one." He said as he leaned into kiss her lightly on the lips and she consented, nodding her head slowly, unable to shake the sadness or the hollowness it came with.


	18. Chapter 18: I Notice You Noticing Me

Chapter 18: I Can't Help but Notice you Noticing Me

Ellie pulled her bag over her shoulder as she entered the school. She was beyond tired. Her personal life and the gig had spilled over into her homework time resulting in a late night for her on Sunday. She hoped with all her might that Ms. Kwan appreciated her English paper. She walked down the hallway, a pair of black sunglasses covering her eyes. They weren't her usual style, but they did a lot to cover the look of exhaustion plastered to her face, so they were needed. She ran a hand through her straight red hair as she walked past other students, not noticing any one in particular. That's when she felt a hand wrap around her waist. She turned in surprise to find Craig walking beside her. "Hey beautiful," he smiled.

"Hey yourself," she said. She couldn't help but smile slightly. Craig made her feel relaxed when they were together. It was a nice feeling, especially after the week of constant stress she put herself through over her breakup with Sean.

"How are you?" He casually asked, but she could sense an underlying message, and Ellie knew exactly what it was.

"Do you want to know how I'm feeling today, or do you want to know if I'm over Sean?"

Craig was silent, and kind of surprised by her frankness. He thought over his word choice for a few seconds before chiming in, "Both."

"Well, I'm fine, a little tired, but fine. And as far as Sean, I don't think there's anything to be concerned about." He pulled her over to the side of the hallway where he could look at her face to face.

"El, you can't blame me for being worried about it," he started as he leaned up against some random lockers. "I mean a week ago, you were telling Sean you loved him. It all came crashing down pretty fast, and cheating isn't something you get over quickly. Trust me; I watched it from a first row seat. I hate myself every day for what I did to Ash and Manny, and they were hurt for a long time. So I get it. You probably aren't over it. I know that takes time. I just need to make sure where your head is and what it means for us going forward, because I'm in this 100% El. I'm committed to being with you. And I realize that might be a little forward but I think you know how I feel about you. And I don't wanna – "

Ellie had watched him with an emotionless face while he basically poured his heart out, and finally she gave a small smile and put a finger to his lips, silencing him further. He watched her now and she leaned up and kissed him. "Craig, I know you have every right to be worried. If the roles were reversed, I'd be worried too. And I know that a week ago I was telling Sean that I loved him, and I did. But I'm over it. I'm over him. The moment I saw him with that other girl, my heart just broke and all my love for him died, because how could I love someone who didn't love me enough to be with only me. That's not how love works. And I spent this last week grieving and working through the hurt, because that's what it was: hurt. I was shocked that anyone could stoop so low to do that to me. But I'm better now. I'm in a better place now, and I'm ready to do this with you and be with you. And I'm in this 100% too. So don't worry." She smiled and took a breath after finishing that. Craig smiled. It was his turn to kiss her.

"That's what I like to hear." He said. "Well, I gotta get to class. I'll see you after, okay?" Ellie nodded and Craig walked away. Ellie stood there glad she soothed Craig's fears. But in the depths of her mind, she wasn't sure who she was trying to convince she was over Sean: Craig, or herself.

Sean was standing at his locker, but couldn't focus on what books he needed for first period. He could see Ellie and Craig in his peripheral vision talking by some lockers, and it made his stomach turn. He fought the urge to go up to her and grab her and kiss her, tell her it wasn't what it looked like that night, but he knew it wouldn't be right of him. She was with Craig now, and he had to respect that until he could convince her to trust him again. He'd just have to wait. And who knew, Craig and Ellie might not even last that long anyway. But somehow he just knew they'd be together for a while.

Suddenly he felt a presence behind him. He turned and saw Marco standing there. Sean was shocked. Marco was probably the last person he expected to see. "It hurts you to see them doesn't it," Marco said, nodding his head in the direction of the happy couple.

"So you're actually talking to me?" Sean said, turning back to his locker, trying to appear uninterested.

"Why wouldn't I be talking to you?" He asked. Sean turned a looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

"I just figured you wouldn't after my breakup with Ellie went down. I figured you'd hate me."

"I did actually. I really did at first. I hated you for what you did to her."

"Oh yeah, and what changed?" Sean said, grabbing a random book to make Marco think he wasn't uncomfortable talking about the breakup and the alleged cheating.

"Emma called."

Sean turned around this time and looked at Marco for a long time. He didn't know what to say really. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out at first. Finally he inhaled sharply. "So you know that I didn't…." He trailed off, afraid to even say it.

"I know you didn't cheat on El."

"Marco, I would never do that to her. I love her. I'm still in love with her. I'll always love her."

"I know that now. The only question is how to get her to know that."

"Could you tell her that I didn't cheat on her? I have a feeling she wouldn't exactly listen to me if I tried to tell her. And besides, you're her best friend. She knows that you wouldn't lie to her."

"I don't even think I could help the situation at this point. She was really messed up. And I'm not sure what to make of this relationship at Craig. It just seems so unlike her: to jump from one relationship to another. I mean when you left the first time and stopped calling her, El spent a long time by herself. She didn't want to date other guys. Usually she goes through this period of 'I don't need a boyfriend, I'm independent.' But with this, she jumped into a relationship with Craig a week after breaking up with you. I'd be lying if I said it didn't worry me, but I just don't know what I could do. She refuses to talk about it anymore ya know. It's like she's trying to pretend it didn't exist when everyone knows that it did."

Sean listened to Marco intently. "I don't know what to do either Marco. I think the only thing we can do is watch and see. You just need to be around her, just listen to her and make sure she's okay. Please make sure she's okay. I need to know that. It broke my heart that I somehow ended up breaking her heart…twice. I hate myself for it. I may not have cheated on her, but I hurt her, I hurt her badly."

Marco sighed as he watched Craig walk away from Ellie. "I guess you're right." But both he and Sean noticed the troubled look Ellie had on her face as Craig walked away from her. She stood there for a minute, an entranced look on her face as if she were deep in thought. Then she quietly turned around and walked away. "Hey man, I gotta get to class. But I'll keep you posted okay?"

Sean looked at Marco. "Thanks man. I appreciate it."

Marco started to walk away but turned back. "I secretly always rooted for you two. Even when you came back and I hated you, I secretly was relieved. You were always good to her and good for her. You saved her when no one else could. Save her again. She won't admit it, but I think she's in trouble again." With that, Marco was gone. And Sean was by himself, still not sure which class he had first period.

Ellie walked down the hallway, thinking to her talk by the lockers with Craig. She'd felt a pair of eyes on her, but she hadn't looked up to see who it was, not even after Craig walked away. She didn't need to look up to see who it was. She'd felt those eyes on her at least one hundred times before. And the feel was still the same. So she'd just sat there, trying to keep in character the whole conversation. And when she walked away, she just focused on keeping a calm and steady look when in reality; she wanted to squirm under his gaze. There was something about Sean Cameron that unnerved her, so much so that even as she told Craig she was in their relationship 100% she fought tooth and nail from giving him the satisfaction of looking at him. But she thought about it as she spouted off her speech to Craig about being over Sean, had to make a conscious effort not to get lost in the boy that was Sean Cameron. She wanted so much to be over him. She wanted to move on from him and that's what she was trying to do. But he watched her every time they were in close proximity, and when he watched her, she wanted to watch him too. He was making it so damn hard.

"Hey," she heard from beside her.

"Hi Marco," she smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes, and Marco noticed.

"How are you feeling? I know last week was hard for you." He slung his arm through hers and pulled her closer.

"I'm better. I just wish it still didn't hurt," she finally admitted.

"El, you know that I love you and I fully support you in everything that you do, but if you're not over what happened, is it really fair to Craig to jump into things with him. I mean, El he **loves** you."

"Don't say that. I told him not to say that yet. It's too soon," She remarked, turning her head away just slightly.

"El, that doesn't make it untrue. Okay, Craig's in this thing for the long run. If you're not ready to be that committed in a relationship then you don't need to jump into it. I don't think Craig would be too upset if you said you just wanted to cool things off for a while. Under the circumstances, I don't think anyone would blame you for wanting time by yourself. All you have to do is open your mouth and say so."

"I know," she started. She sounded unsure of herself, which was unlike Ellie. Usually she was pretty confident in her words and her answers. "But I want to move forward with Craig. I really do. He makes it hurt less, and like you said, he **loves** me. He loves me in a way where I don't think he'd ever cheat on me."

"Is that the only reason you're with him. Because that's not a very good sole reason to be with Craig, so if it is you need to let him know that you're not that serious about the relationship. That's not to say you won't ever be, if you still want to give it a try. But Craig deserves to know that you guys are in different places in the relationship. He's coming into it already head over rocker shoes in love with you and you're coming into it grieving over another guy. I don't think that's very fair."

"I know. I know. I promise I'll tell him." Ellie said, stopping in the doorway of her first period. "Bye Marco. I'll see you at lunch."

"El, are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah," she nodded, but she felt a sadness in the pit of her stomach. She just lied to her best friend, and she knew from the look in his eyes that he knew it too.


	19. Chapter 19: Miserable at Best

Hey guys, sorry I've been extremely busy with Senior Year Work. But here's your latest update. It's entitled Miserable at Best after the Mayday Parade song that I've become in love with as of late. The song is quoted in this chapter. It's in italics. I don't own that song. It's the property of Mayday Parade. If you haven't heard it, you should check it out. It's a beautiful song. And if you have heard it, you should check it out too because you know how amazing it is. But anyway, I don't own Degrassi either. Oh and Sellie fans, don't lose hope with this story. Sellie moments are just around the corner. :)

Chapter 19: Miserable at Best

Ellie was lounging on the couch in Craig's garage, waiting for him to come out of the house. She'd decided to take Marco's advice after all. She really did want to give a relationship with Craig a chance, but he deserved to know that she was still hurting. She was nervous. She didn't want Craig to think too much about it. It was just a phase she was going to have to move through in order to heal. It didn't really impact their relationship any. She was still committed to giving it a shot. All it really meant was that she wanted to take things slow while she worked through the feelings of betrayal and pain Sean Cameron had carelessly left behind.

She heard the back door shut and looked up from her thoughts, smiling as she saw Craig walking toward her. He had a glimmer of excitement in his eyes. "Someone looks unbelievably happy," Ellie mused as Craig plopped down beside her. He kissed her cheek.

"I think I have every reason to be happy. I mean, I finally got the right girl. We've been gaining popularity since the music festival. I'd say life is pretty good." She smiled at him again, but it slowly faltered as she tried to find to begin her confession.

"Craig, can I tell you something?" He looked at her and nodded, shifting his body so that he could face her, thus tuning in to her.

"Yeah El, always. What's wrong? Are you okay?"

She nodded, "Oh yeah. I'm fine."

"You're not breaking up with me are you?" Craig asked, his voice going quiet.

"NO!" Ellie jumped in quickly. "God no, Craig!" He exhaled and visibly looked relieved. "Is that really what you expected?" She asked, concerned that that was his first instinct.

"Well, I mean, I was just making sure. I just feel so lucky to have you that I'm waiting for it to screw up somehow." That statement sounded familiar to her somehow. She wasn't sure where she'd heard it before. She opened her mouth to speak when his cell phone started ringing. He silenced the ringer and looked back to her.

"It can wait."

"No, Craig, take it. It could be something important." She assured him. It wasn't like she was going anywhere. He smiled and answered the phone. He got up from the couch and walked around. She zoned out, trying to figure out exactly what she'd say. She wanted the time to find the words. How she put this sentiment to Craig was vitally important. She didn't want to make him feel worried or unsure of her feelings or their relationship. There was only room enough in the relationship for one person to do that, and it was her, not that she'd ever tell him that.

"That's great!" She heard Craig practically shout. "Yeah, yeah, I'll see you on Saturday!" Craig hung up the phone. He was beaming. Ellie stood up.

"Who was that?"

"He was a music executive. He saw us play at the music festival."

"What'd he say?" She asked, curious.

"He wants me to come out to see him. He wants to talk about maybe signing the band to the label he works for!"

"That's amazing! So where exactly are you two meeting?"

"He wants me to come to his office in Vancouver this weekend." His smile faltered just a bit, not certain how Ellie would react to that.

"That's great news!" She said, smiling. "I can't believe this is finally happening for you."

"It's happening for us," He corrected, "it's happening for the band."

Ellie gave Craig a sweet smile at, what was in her opinion, his naivety, but she thought she'd rather not rain on his parade. So she replied instead, "Yeah, it looks like it is." He hugged her and gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

"I'm going to go tell Joey!" Ellie nodded and he ran inside. Once he disappeared from the garage, Ellie grabbed her phone from the couch. Turning to leave, she sighed. She'd just have to tell him later. Besides, that would give her more time to think about what she was going to tell him.

Ellie walked home and hesitated at the door, hand on the knob. She wasn't sure what she'd find when she walked in, and that scared her. She stood there for a few minutes before deciding to go in. There wasn't anyone in the living room, which was a good sign. She'd been walking on egg shells around her mom since the letter came. That stupid letter. Things had finally been getting back to normal at the Nash house, normal in a way that things hadn't been in several years. They were starting to be a real family where her mom took care of her, and that letter had to destroy all the progress they'd made. And now things were worse than ever. She just tried to spend as much time away from home as she could, and that made things almost tolerable.

She snuck up to her room, closing the door as quietly as she could. She didn't dare make any noise until there was a door in between her and the rest of the house, where he mother was residing doing God knows what. She undressed quickly, throwing on pajamas. She was tired. She was always tired nowadays. The stress wore on her. It was hard. Her life had become hard. She was still in high school and didn't deserve to have this kind of emotional stress thrown on her. She heard movement from downstairs, followed by a scream of some sort. She recognized the tone as her mother's, and Ellie cringed.

Suddenly it seemed like too much. School, Craig, her mother, the letter…Sean, everything in her life was too heavy. All she wanted to do was be light enough where all the drama didn't drag her down. She needed to feel light, to feel numb where it wouldn't bother her anymore. She reached under her bed and grabbed the familiar black CD holder she'd hidden away what seemed like ages ago. She couldn't bear to get rid of it. It'd been such a big part of her life for so long. So she'd hidden it so that she would gradually forget about it, but with the arrival of the letter and the deterioration of her mother's progress, its location had been burning in her mind for days. And she just couldn't take it anymore. She chose the razor. The blood that seeped up from the cut startled her, and she didn't know why. She actually felt anxiety building as the blood bubbled at the surface of her skin. But slowly but surely, she felt the happy numb feeling take over. Sighing she pulled a cloth from the CD holder and wiped away the blood. After cleaning the cut, she lay down in bed and stared at the ceiling, the haze fully in control now. And for the first time in a week and a half, she calmly and peacefully fell asleep. She welcomed it full-heartedly.

Sean sat on the floor of his apartment, back against a chair. He'd switched the radio on his alarm clock on. He thought listening to the music helped. His mind would get lost in the beat of the music or the rhythm of the lyrics, and for a few minutes he would forget about his life. He'd forget about how much he missed Ellie, but only for a couple of minutes. She was never far from his thoughts. It was like her memory was permanently chained there, forever plaguing him with thoughts about the gorgeous girl who'd changed his world. But of course in the midst of all the higher tempo songs, there would always be a slow, sad song that would remind him sharply of her. And this instance was no different. "Alright Katie, here's your request. This is Mayday Parade's 'Miserable at Best.'"

_Katie don't cry,  
I know you're trying your hardest  
And the hardest part is letting go of the nights we shared  
Ocala is calling and you know it's haunting  
But compared to your eyes, nothing shines quite as bright  
And when we look to the sky, it's not mine, but I want it so_

_Let's not pretend like you're alone tonight  
(I know he's there and)  
You're probably hanging out and making eyes  
(while across the room, he stares)  
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor  
And ask my girl to dance, she'll say yes_

Sean thought of Ellie, and wondered what she was doing. This song reminded him of her, of her and Craig, and it made him feel sick inside.

_Because these words were never easier for me to say_  
_Or her to second guess_  
_But I guess_  
_That I can live without you but_  
_Without you I'll be miserable at best_

_You're all that I hoped I'd find_  
_In every single way_  
_And everything I could give_  
_Is everything you couldn't take_  
_Cause nothing feels like home, you're a thousand miles away_  
_And the hardest part of living_  
_Is just taking breaths to stay_

He and El had had some good times when they'd been together. The song made him oddly reminiscent. But he didn't want to reminiscence. It just made it hurt more when he realized she wasn't there with him, that she was probably spending her time with Craig. He wondered about how she was and how her mom's sobriety was working out. He worried about her every night. He hoped she was ok.

_'Cause I know I'm good for something_  
_I just haven't found it yet_  
_But I need it_

_So, let's not pretend like you're alone tonight_  
_(I know he's there and)_  
_You're probably hanging out and making eyes_  
_(while across the room, he stares)_  
_I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor_  
_And ask my girl to dance, she'll say yes_

_Because these words were never easier for me to say_  
_Or her to second guess_  
_But I guess_  
_That I can live without you but_  
_Without you I'll be miserable at best_

_ladada ladada ladadaoh ohhh_

_And this will be the first time in a week_  
_That I'll talk to you_  
_And I can't speak_  
_Been three whole days since I've had sleep_  
_'Cause I dream of his lips on your cheek_  
_And I got the point that I should leave you alone_  
_But we both know that I'm not that strong_  
_And I miss the lips that made me fly_

_So let's not pretend that you're alone tonight_  
_(I know he's there and)_  
_You're probably hanging out and making eyes_  
_(while across the room, he stares)_  
_I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor_  
_And ask my girl to dance, she'll say yes_

_Because these words were never easier for me to say_  
_Or her to second guess_  
_But I guess_  
_That I can live without you but_  
_Without you I'll be miserable_  
_And I can live without you_  
_But without you I'll be miserable_  
_And I can live without you but_  
_Oh, without you I'll be miserable at best_

Without Ellie, he felt miserable at best.


	20. Chapter 20: If This Bottle Could Talk

Sorry it's been a while guys. Last weekend, I got caught up in major high school work and other things. And I didn't get a chance to update. But here's chapter 20, and I'll try to get another update either tomorrow or Monday. I think you'll like this chapter and love the next one. Big Plans in Store. That's all I can say without spoiling it, but I'm really excited.

Chapter 20: If this Bottle Could Talk….

The trunk slammed shut with a thud and Joey looked up to Craig. "There you go. You're all set bud." Joey looked at Craig and felt fatherly pride. He'd remembered when he first met Craig, and couldn't help but think what a transformation. "I'm proud of you Craig," he said as he opened his arms wide. He and Craig hugged, Craig laughing.

"Joey, you do realize I'm coming back right? This is just for the weekend."

"I know, but this is your breakthrough. I just know it." Joey looked down at his watch. "Shouldn't you be leaving soon? I don't want you to miss your meeting."

"Relax, I'm gonna leave soon."

"You waiting on Ellie?"

"Yeah," Craig said, feeling a goofy smile spread across his face. "She said she was going to stop by."

Then like clockwork, Craig watched as his beautiful girl rounded the corner, her red hair twirling with her movement. She was dressed in dark washed jeans and a short-sleeve black shirt layered over a long-sleeve red top. Her gold bag was thrown across her body, gliding with her as she walked down the sidewalk. She smiled when she saw him. Joey looked from Ellie to Craig and sighed. "Oh, young love. Listen, I'll see you when you get back. Humor me and call me when you get there ok?"

Craig mumbled an agreement, never once taking her eyes off the red-head walking toward him. Joey shook his head and walked back to the house, waving at Ellie as he did. She waved back and smiled. Then she turned her eyes back to Craig. "Hey," she said softly when she was standing right in front of them.

"Hey yourself," he smiled, taking her hand in his. "Do you know what I just realized?" She looked at him, her eyes widening in curiosity as she waited for him to continue. "I realized that I am the luckiest guy in the entire world because I have the most amazing – " He leaned in and kissed her gently mid-sentence before continuing, "beautiful…." He kissed her again, "girlfriend in the entire world." She smiled and laughed slightly.

"You _just_ realized this." Craig let his mouth fall open in a silly grin, not sure how to reply to that.

"God, I don't know. I think the amazing Ellie Nash has outsmarted me yet again."

She smiled devilishly. "So what does that bring the score to? One million to one in my favor? I think you need to step up your game Craig Manning. You're slipping." He pulled her closer to him, his hands resting on her waist as he leaned in and kissed her passionately. When he finally pulled away, Ellie was left breathless. "Wow," she whispered.

"So what does that bring the score to: One million to two? I think you need to step up your game Ellie Nash. You're slipping." They both laughed as Craig pulled her into a long hug. He buried his face in the crook of her neck. He planted one soft kiss there before whispering into her ear, "And you're sure you can't come with me?"

"I wish I could," she whispered back, "but I can't. I have family stuff with my mom. She needs me. But I'll see you when you get back on Monday. And I'll call you every night. So it'll be like we're not even apart really."

"I know. I just wish you could come."

She laughed. "I mean, I know that I'm amazing, but it's only for one weekend. It's not forever. The separation anxiety doesn't need to take effect yet. You are coming back…right? This isn't one of those things that you say you're going for a weekend and then I end up getting a phone call from you saying you're staying there indefinitely? Because I've gone through that whole thing once, and once was enough."

Now it was Craig's turn to laugh. "Now who has separation anxiety?" She smiled. "Yes I'm coming back. I would never do that to you El. I….." He wanted to say it, but he'd agreed to take their relationship slow, and he could tell she wasn't ready to hear him say it. "….I care about you." He said, deciding that sounded better. She smiled thankfully, glad he hadn't said 'I love you.' They stood there smiling at each other for a minute or two, still wrapped in each other's arms.

"You should go," Ellie said.

"Yeah, I should. I need to hit the road so I'm not late."

"Yeah, we don't want that," she agreed. She walked with him to the car and stood in front of the driver's side door.

"So I'll call you later," he said, opening the door.

"You'd better. After all, you are the luckiest guy in the world." She said, giggling at the cheesy line.

"I know I am," he said seriously. He cupped her cheek with his hand and leaned in, giving her one last kiss, before getting in the car. Ellie backed away as he started the car. He waved a final time before driving off. He could see her waving back from his rearview mirror, her figure getting smaller as he drove. As her image disappeared from the mirror's sight, he felt a pang and already missed her.

Ellie tried to avoid it as much as possible, but eventually she had to go home. Things had become so tense at home that she basically just stayed in her room when she was there. She and her mom hadn't had a real conversation in weeks, and the silence that seemed to consume her life was slowly destroying her. Craig hadn't notice, for which a part of her was grateful, but her arm had a couple of light pink scratches that still remained from her stress relief tactics. Then there was the other part of her that was screaming for help that couldn't help but wonder why he hadn't noticed.

She pushed the door open slowly, trying to keep it from making a sound. Her heart was beating so loudly and quick that she felt it throb beneath her skin. Anxiety was building. She shouldn't be this nervous to open a door. It wasn't healthy, but it was her life all the same. Everything was going good until the door let out a loud creak. She exhaled sharply and listened on the other side of the door for any kind of movement. She could feel her eyes water with salty tears while she waited, her body slightly shaking. But the longer she waited, the quieter the house inside got. So she calmed herself down and pushed the door open all the way, stepping inside.

"GET OUT!" She saw something out of the corner of her eyes. It was green and solid until it collided with the wall. Then it shattered into what looked to Ellie to be a thousand pieces. It was almost a beautiful sight, she thought, as she watched the pieces break into ever smaller components. It was almost beautiful…until she felt the glass dig into her skin. A searing pain shot through her arm as she saw a small line of blood bubble up on her arm. She backed out of the doorway quickly, pulling the door closed with a slam.

Once there was a barrier in between her and the monster inside that had become of her mother, she exhaled sharply and took some anxious breaths as her mind twirled around, processing what had happened. Her eyes watered again and she shed a tear or two before covering her new wound with her hand, applying a certain pressure to it. She tried to think of where to go. She would've gone to Craig, but he was out of town for the weekend. She could go to Marco's, but then she remembered that Marco wasn't home either. He was spending the weekend with Dylan. She thumbed through her options and realized there was really only one, if even that. She sighed and began walking away from the house that hadn't felt like home for months.

She knocked on the door, her nerves suddenly becoming jittery. She shouldn't be here. She should just turn around and leave and go home. She should just be strong enough to face her mother. She started to turn around and leave the way she came, but she heard movement on the other end of the door, quickly approaching the door. It was too late to leave now. She sighed and braced for the coming scene. The door opened, and Ellie inhaled slightly.

"El?" The words fumbled out of Sean's mouth in an unreal tone. He almost didn't believe that she was really standing here at his door in front of him. Then the moment of shock passed him and he actually took in her appearance.

"Hi Sean," she whispered.

"El, are you alright?" He asked.

She nodded, trying to keep it together. But the tears were welling up in her eyes the more time passed. "Yeah, it's just…can I…is the…can I stay here tonight? I would completely understand your saying no. I probably shouldn't have come here…but I didn't have anywhere else to go."

"El, of course you can stay here. I told you that no matter what happened, you could always come here." He moved and let her inside the apartment. She moved her hand from her arm once inside and he immediately saw the blood. She looked down and suddenly remembered the fact that she was bleeding and placed her hand back over the cut. She'd pulled the glass out already, but the blood hadn't stopped steadily bubbling up. "El, what the hell happened?" He said, gently taking hold of her arm and guiding her to the couch. He walked to the kitchen and pulled a first aid kit out of one of the cabinets, waiting for her answer.

"My mom…." She trailed off, hoping that, like Craig, he wouldn't notice or ask for more detail. But it never was that easy with Sean.

"What happened El?"

"She threw a bottle at me. It hit the wall and busted, and well, the glass cut me."

"She threw a bottle at you?! El, I thought you said things were getting better." He said as he began cleaning the cut.

"I can do that Sean," she said, but he just looked at her.

"I got it. Now back to the story. I thought you said she was getting sober."

"Well," she began, "she was, and then the letter came."

"Letter? What letter?" Sean said, having a terrible feeling about her follow up answer.

"A letter came. My dad's been injured in combat."

"Oh God El, I'm sorry." He said, his stomach sinking. "Is he gonna be ok?"

"Yeah, he's better now, I'm sure. It wasn't a serious injury, but it just makes mom nervous. And to kill the anxiety, she started having one drink, and then it became two, then three. And now, she's worse than ever."

"I'm sorry El. It shouldn't be like that. You shouldn't have to put up with this shit."

"I'm sorry I had to bother you. I would've gone to Craig's, but he's out of town for the weekend."

"El, don't apologize. I'm glad you're here rather than at home with your unstable mom. If it happens again, El, don't be afraid to come here."

"Well, I just didn't think Jennifer would want me here and all."

"Jennifer's not here."

"Oh? Where is she?"

"I guess back in Wasaga." He said, placing a bandage over the cut. Ellie nodded.

"Thanks," she said.

"No problem," he smiled.

"And thanks for letting me sleep on the couch." He paused.

"No, El, you can take my room. I'll sleep on the couch."

"Oh no, really, I wouldn't want to impose. You're already letting me stay here."

"No I insist." He said throwing the trash from cleaning her cut away.

"Well thanks Sean."

"Like I said, no problem, El." He gave her a reassuring smile. She got up and walked toward the bedroom.

"I think I'm gonna turn in."

"I understand. You need some sleep after that." She turned to enter the room when Sean called out to her. "Hey El, if you ever wanna talk about your dad, you can always talk to me. I'll always be here to listen." She cast a final glance backwards.

"Thanks Sean, for everything." She went into the bedroom and shut the door. She collapsed on the bed, so tired, too tired to do anything but lay there. That's when she noticed the picture. He kept a picture of her by his bed. Why would he do that? She wanted to think about it some more, but the exhaustion proved too great, and she quickly lulled into a deep sleep, feeling more at home here at Sean's apartment than she had in weeks.


	21. Chapter 21: Easy

So I've worked all day to get this chapter done and here it is. I hope you enjoy it. It's a bit longer, but a lot more stuff happens. I adore the plot of this chapter :) So read it. I hope you enjoy it. Feel free to review and leave comments.

Chapter 21: Easy

Ellie woke up the next morning, feeling more rested than she had felt in a while. It was nice, she thought, to wake up and not be worried a bottle was going to come smashing at you when you went downstairs. She rolled over and saw the picture again. Her and Sean. Sean and her. Why did he still have a picture of them up? If Jennifer had been staying with him, she would have made sure that that picture was ripped apart and thrown away. There's no way it would still be up in plain sight like it was. It confused her, and now she had even more stuff she had to work through. She sighed. It never ended did it?

She pushed herself out of bed, realizing that she needed to get going. She would have to go home and change before school. Plus she didn't want to stay in Sean's apartment any longer than she had to. Being here brought back memories, and the memories would just confuse her even more. She was already trying to work through her feelings for Craig. The last thing she needed were memories of Sean swirling around in her head on top of that.

She opened the bedroom door to find Sean sitting on the couch. Apparently he'd already been in the bedroom to get clothes. He was already dressed in his usual jeans and T-shirt. "Morning," he gave her a small smile. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," she said. She tossed the gold bag on her shoulder and made her way to the door. She needed to get out of here fast. "Thanks for letting me stay here Sean."

"Woah, where are you going?"

"Oh I figured I needed to get going. I need to go home and do some stuff for school. I need to take advantage of my mom being gone." Sean nodded.

"Okay then. Thanks for coming." He said, running his hand through his hair.

"No thank you for letting me crash here. I appreciate it."

"Hey, listen El," he said, stopping her in the doorway. "If it gets bad again, don't hesitate to come here. You deserve to be able to get a good night's sleep feeling safe."

It was Ellie's turn to nod, and she gave Sean a slight grin. "I will Sean. Thanks again." And then she was gone. To Sean, it felt like she was gone just as quick as she came. Her exit took the breath out of him. She'd been a glimmer in the grayness of his life. And just like a flame burning out, his glimmer of light was gone, leaving him in the dark once more.

Emma could barely believe her ears. "Wait, Ellie showed up at your apartment?" She and Sean were sitting at a table nestled in the corner of the cafeteria, eating lunch Monday afternoon. Emma let her eyes dart around the cafeteria every few seconds, searching for Manny. She saw her in line still. She looked back to Sean, knowing she needed to talk fast. When Manny got to the table, the conversation about Ellie would have to cease or else Manny would go off on a tangent. She still hadn't gotten over Craig leaving her for Ellie. Emma doubted she ever would. Craig was the love of Manny's life, the man she always expected she'd end up with. It was similar to the way Emma had viewed Sean up until recently.

Sean nodded. "Yeah, she showed up at my apartment bleeding."

"Oh my gosh, is she ok?"

"Yeah. Her mom threw a bottle at her. She had a pretty bad cut, but I cleaned it for her and bandaged it up. I mean what psychotic bitch throws a fucking bottle at her own daughter? She could have seriously hurt her." Emma nodded, giving Sean a sympathetic smile. It must be hard. She felt terrible for Ellie. What Ellie had to go to through was something that no one should've had to go through. And the stress that it put on Sean was hard too. Ellie might not see it right now, but Sean still worried about her. He still watched her out of the corner of his eye.

"So how was it? Was it awkward?" She asked, trying to shift the subject.

"Not really. But then we didn't really spend that much time around each other. I bandaged her up and then she went to bed. But who could blame her, the poor girl."

"What about this morning?"

"Well, she kinda bolted as soon as she got up. I was gonna offer to make her breakfast, but she said she had to go and left so fast."

"How was it for you? I mean suddenly seeing her again, having her at your place?"

"It was nice you know. It was the one night that I absolutely knew she was safe. I definitely slept better knowing she was there, knowing she was ok. But then she left this morning and went home. And she said her mother wouldn't be there, but it still made me nervous because you really never know with _her_ mother. But I saw her at school this morning. She seemed ok."

"Well that's good." Emma said.

"I know it seems pathetic, but it made me miss her more, having her there and then she just left so fast."

"I know, but you'll see, everything'll turn out alright in the end. She'll come around." Sean nodded, and Emma and he both fell silent on the subject as Manny approached the table. She sat down and they talked about other things, but all through lunch Emma's thoughts were far away from the conversation, as an idea began to take form in her mind.

"Okay," Ms. Kwan droned on, "Today's the day we pick partners for the English project."

Ellie sighed and looked at Craig's empty seat. He'd gotten in really late Sunday night, exhausted from his weekend road trip, so much so that Joey agreed to let him have Monday off from school to catch up on his sleep. Ellie hadn't even got to see him yet. She'd only been able to have the brief phone conversation with him. But first thing after school, she was going over there to see him. She smiled inwardly at the idea.

"And by 'we pick partners' I mean I've already assigned them." Ms. Kwan said, noticing the students looking around and chattering about who to pair with. This was met by several groans. Ms. Kwan actually looked sadistically happy by the students' irritation as she started calling out partners. "I've decided to do something different this time. I've paired each of you up with people in different classes. So your partner might not be in your grade level. My advice to you: get over it and get the project done. This is designed to help you increase your flexibility. You won't always be able to have it your way in life, so you might as well get used to it." She said as she approached the first role of students. From somewhere in the back, Spinner's voice whispered out, "I know better ways to increase flexibility." Jimmy laughed and Ms. Kwan looked pointedly at them.

"Gavin," she said curtly, "you'll be paired with Liberty van Zandt." Spinner groaned, and Ms. Kwan smiled in a victorious manner. "Jimmy, you'll be paired with Paige." She moved along. "Marco, you'll be paired with Mr. Manning. Make sure you fill him in on the assignment." Marco nodded as Mrs. Kwan walked passed him, giving out partners quickly. "Ellie Nash," she said, looking toward the red-head. Ellie could hear her heart beat in her ears and she thought of Sean, almost instinctively knowing they'd be paired up. "You're with Emma Nelson." Ellie breathed a silent sigh of relief. She wasn't partnered with Sean, but she wasn't sure exactly how much of a step up Emma was. She'd have to find out.

Ellie walked down the sidewalk after the bell rang, excited to get to Craig's and see him. She really did care about him, and she had missed him over the weekend. She'd teased him about his separation anxiety, but was feeling a lot of her own. Suddenly she heard footsteps fast approaching and a voice calling out, "Ellie! Hey Ellie, wait up!" She turned her head to see Emma Nelson fast approaching.

"Hey Emma," she said, continuing walking as Emma caught up and matched her stride.

"So I heard Ms. Kwan paired us up on the English project."

"Yeah, we'll have to get together some time and work on it."

"Yeah, here," she said pulling out a scrap piece of paper with a number written on it. "This is my number. You can text me or call me sometime and we can set up a time to work on it."

Ellie nodded. "Sure."

"You going to see Craig?" Emma asked, uncertainty creeping into her voice little by little.

"Yeah, he was out of town this weekend. So I thought I'd go see him."

Emma was quiet for a minute, choosing her next words carefully. "Listen Ellie, I know that we're not close or anything like that, but I've always considered you a really nice girl." Ellie gave her an odd look and nodded slowly.

"Thanks, I guess," she said in a bland, almost sarcastic voice.

"And I know it's none of my business, but I just wanted to tell you something, which you can choose to believe or not." Ellie stopped now and looked at her, her blonde hair hanging loosely around her face, complementing her tanned skin. She narrowed her eyes slightly at the blonde.

"What Emma?"

"I know you're not going to want to hear this…." She trailed off, losing her nerve. Ellie had a bad feeling about this.

"Spit it out Emma. I don't have all day."

Emma gulped and took a breath before looking at Ellie straight on. "Sean didn't cheat on you." She said it fast, each word spilling out over the one before it. Ellie's eyes widened slightly. She was definitely caught off guard by that. She didn't say anything for a moment and Emma waited for something to happen next. Ellie shook her head and began walking again.

"You're right Emma. It's none of your business." Emma followed, refusing to give up that easily.

"Ellie, no wait, please listen to me. He really didn't. And he feels terrible about all the pain he caused you!" Ellie turned around, causing Emma to almost run into her. Ellie's eyebrows were narrowed at Emma and she was seething.

"He should be. He broke my heart twice! I loved him! And he just hurt me! He hurt me Emma, bad!"

"Ellie, he would never. Sean came back for you, to be with you. And he meant every word he said. He would never cheat on you or do anything to jeopardize his relationship with you."

"Oh yeah? Emma, I don't know what Sean told you, but you didn't go to his apartment and find him with a half-naked girl."

"He didn't know she was there!"

Ellie looked at Emma incredulously. "You've got to be kidding me? Really, he didn't know she was there. How else did she get in Emma?"

"His door was unlocked. She just walked in."

"I'm sorry if I don't believe you." She walked past Emma. Emma stopped following her, standing firmly in place.

"Ellie, he was leaving!" She called out. Ellie stopped at this. "He packed up and was going to go back to Wasaga with Jennifer. But he didn't because I convinced him to stick around and fight for you. But he won't, not while you're with Craig. He wants you to have a fair shot at a relationship with him. But he's still here, hoping to work things out."

Ellie turned around. "We're not going to work things out Emma." She said meekly.

"He still loves you Ellie. He loves you so much."

"Enough to leave," she shrugged.

"Enough to step back and let you be happy with another guy. It's the ultimate sign of love. It's like that saying, 'If you love something, set it free, and if it's meant to be, it'll come back to you.'" Ellie was quiet for a moment, and then tilted her head slightly to the side.

"Emma, why are you defending him? I thought you were in love with him still. Shouldn't you be happy we're not together?"

"I was in love with him." She acknowledged.

"And why don't you love him now?"

"Because I saw the way he looked at you, and I realized he'd never once looked at me like that. It hurt like hell to let go of him. But I did because I realized he didn't belong to me anymore. He never really did. His heart is with you. He's never loved anyone like he loves you. And I'm not trying to get you to break up with Craig and get back with Sean. I'm just trying to tell you the truth, so you can have all the facts."

Ellie looked at the ground and then back at Emma. She nodded and then turned around. "I'll call you about the English project. I have to go see my boyfriend." And this time, she didn't stop. She didn't turn around. She just kept walking.

Craig was waiting on the doorstep when she got there. He stood up when he saw her and she smiled, quickening her pace. She jumped into his arms, and he kissed the top of her head. "Hey," he laughed. She kissed him a couple of times. "Wow, if this is the kind of welcome I get, I should go out of town more often."

"I missed you at school today."

"I'm sorry. I was just so tired. I had to get some sleep."

"I know," she smiled. "Oh, by the way, you're paired with Marco for an English project."

"Oh, who are you paired with?"

"Emma Nelson."

"Emma? We're not in the same class though."

"Ms. Kwan is trying something new where she pairs people from different classes."

"Oh," Craig said. "Well, at least it's Emma. She's a sweet girl. Now forget about school. Let's get back to you. Joey's not home. He took Angie to the park for a few hours…if you wanted to come in." She chuckled at the way he was beating around the bush about it. In response, she leaned into him and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her before pulling away, taking her hand, and leading her inside.

The further inside Craig's house she went, the more her stomach twisted into knots. She knew she shouldn't have come inside. She knew she shouldn't let things go this far, but she couldn't help it. Emma had said a lot of things and she needed to prove to herself that she wanted Craig. And as she heard herself think that, she knew she needed to leave. That was no reason to do this. But she didn't know how to leave.

Craig pulled her into his bedroom. She looked around. "So this is where the Craig Manning lives." He smiled at her and yanked her toward him. She was about to say something about taking it slow when Craig kissed her. It was a sweet, tender kiss, one full of trust and feeling. It gave her chills. She was surprised by the kiss and how much it affected her. Craig pulled away.

"El, I know you wanted to take things slow, but I can't not say it anymore." She held her breath. "El, I love you." He'd said it. They'd both known it, but now it was out in the open atmosphere between them. She didn't know what she was doing anymore, but she leaned into him and kissed him. Her hands laced themselves around his neck and he walked backwards towards the bed. They fell on it, giggling like the high school kids they were.

"Why Craig Manning, I think you're trying to seduce me." Craig kissed her lips and looked at her lovingly.

"You bet I am. It looks like it's working too." He laughed and kissed her again. Craig placed a trail of kisses from her lips down her neck.

Ellie's hands were tangled in his hair as she closed her eyes. She inaudibly began to speak. "I love you. I love you Sean." And just like that her eyes flew open and she disentangled herself from Craig. She was in full blown panic mode. Craig hadn't heard her say anything, but she couldn't believe what she said.

"El, whoa El, are you ok? What's wrong?" Craig asked, but Ellie just pushed him away.

"I'm sorry Craig. I have to go. I have to get out of here." She rushed out of his room and out of the house.

"ELLIE!" He called after her, but she was running down the sidewalk now. It had started raining. She hadn't heard the rain from inside, not that it mattered now. She was on the verge of hyperventilating. She needed to calm down. But how could she when she had just said that she loved Sean. She took a few deep breaths, still running down the sidewalk. She wasn't sure what to do or where to go. She was fighting back tears as she made up her mind where to go.

She knocked on the door and movement stirred on the other side of it. But it seemed far away. She fidgeted, unable to keep still. She knocked again. The movement was closer to the door now. Then she wondered why she was here. She shouldn't be here. Ellie turned around and started rushing around the corner as the door opened. She shouldn't have come. This was stupid. It wasn't going to change anything. "Ellie?" The person at the door called.

Ellie rushed down the stairs and out of the apartment building back into the pouring rain. She started walking down the sidewalk when she heard the door open and close right behind her. "Ellie! Hey, El, talk to me."

"Sean, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here. Sorry to bother you."

"No El, you didn't bother me. Do you need to stay with me tonight? Is your mom on a drinking binge again?"

"No." She replied matter-of-factly.

"Oh." He said, not expecting that answer. "That's good. Well then what's up?"

"Nothing Sean, I told you it was a mistake for me to come here."

"El, you know you can talk to me about anything. What's wrong? Are you ok?" She turned and looked at him through red-rimmed eyes. "What's wrong El?" He asked again.

"Emma said you stayed here for me." She started. Sean was caught off guard.

"What?"

"Emma said that you were going to leave with Jennifer, but that you stayed to fight for me."

"To be honest I did."

"But you didn't. You didn't fight for me!"

"I didn't think you wanted me to fight for you. I thought you wanted to be with Craig, so I let you be with him. You deserve every chance to be happy, and it may not be with me. But that's all I want El: to see you happy. I want you to be with the person who you love, and if that's Craig, then it's Craig."

Ellie was silent for a second as she felt anger rising through her. Her breathing quickened and her lips tightened. "Let me tell you something Sean Cameron!" She said a little louder than expected. Sean was actually taken aback by her volume. Sean didn't say anything. "Craig is a great guy!" She practically shouted. "He listens to me! He calls me when he says he will! He's always on time! Craig is an amazing boyfriend! He's passionate about music and driven to reach his goals! He even spent the weekend talking to a music executive about the band! Craig's going places! And he's unbelievably sweet and patient and caring! And Craig _loves_ me. He loves me Sean, in a way that I never have to wonder if he'll cheat on me! And Craig takes care of me. When you broke my heart he was there to pick up the pieces! He fixed me Sean! He fixed me! He wanted to be there for me!" Sean was still quiet, listening to Ellie yell at the top of her lungs.

"And being with Craig is easy! It's easy! As easy as breathing!" She screamed, shaking her head at him. All her anger had left her body with her long rant. She was out of breath. She took a few deep breaths and looked at Sean. His clothes were rain-soaked by now. His eyes were wide with a look of innocence, and Ellie could see the rain in his hair and the drops run down his face. He was beautiful. And just like that she closed the distance and kissed him desperately. She cupped his face with her hands. Sean hadn't expected the kiss, but it didn't take him long to react. He tangled his hands in her red hair and pulled her as close as she could get to him. He broke away from the kiss and stared at her beautiful brown eyes. "Ellie, I love you." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him again. They tangled themselves together, forgetting the rain altogether.


	22. Chapter 22: The Fight

Chapter 22: The Fight

"So what are you going to do?" Sean asked from his seat on the couch. Ellie stood in front of the bathroom mirror wringing the water out of her hair.

"Now," she said pulling her hair back into a ponytail, "I go talk to Craig." She walked back into the living room and smiled at Sean. He smiled back at her and stood, walking to her and taking her hands in his.

"Do you want me to come with you?" He asked, pulling her closer to him. She giggled lightly.

"No. I don't think that would help the situation any. Besides, this is something I have to do by myself. I dug my grave, now I gotta go climb out of it."

"Can I at least drive you over there? It's still raining you know." She shook her head and lightly kissed his cheek before turning and walking toward the door. Sean grabbed her arm and pulled her back to him.

"Sean," she laughed. "Sean I need to go. I need to go talk to Craig." He kissed her forehead.

"I know," he whispered into her hair before letting her go. She smiled again before heading to the door. Sean called out to her, stopping her in the doorway. "Hey! I love you." She turned, still smiling, nodding her head.

"Yeah, I love you too. And now I have to go tell my boyfriend that." He shot her a sympathetic look as she walked out of his apartment. But when the door closed, he couldn't help but feel on top of the world. Ellie Nash loved him. And he loved her. And they were going to be together again. He couldn't have been happier.

Joey's keys jingled in the door as he turned it open. Angie ran inside and scampered off to the living room to watch TV. Joey smiled at her before walking upstairs to Craig's room. "Hey Craig, we're back," he said, placing his hand on the door knob. Realizing the door was cracked open, Joey pushed it open and his eyes widened. The room was destroyed. Papers were thrown everywhere and a few pieces of furniture were pushed over. The curtains were pulled down and the pictures on the wall had been torn from their places. Joey stepped inside, recognizing the signs. Craig had done a similar thing some time earlier. He'd trashed a hotel room. Joey sighed and wondered how long Craig had been off his bipolar medication. He stepped into the room further and heard glass crack under his feet. He stepped back and looked down. It was the picture of Downtown Sasquatch after the music festival. Joey picked it up out of the wreckage and continued to stare at it. Then he sighed, tossed it back down, and closed the door behind him as he left. He needed to find Craig, but didn't even know where to look. "Angie!" Joey called. "Come on baby. We gotta go somewhere!" He grabbed Angie's hand and pulled her to the car. Joey's stomach turned summersaults as he started his car. He hoped Craig was ok.

Craig had been off his pills for a couple of weeks now. He'd never liked the idea of taking medicine. It made him feel like a freak, but he'd needed them then. But things had been so good lately that he didn't feel the need to take the pills anymore. He was stronger now, more in control of his emotions. He didn't need the pills. He didn't want them.

But as he'd walked down the sidewalk, he'd felt his anger rising to new levels. He knew he should've turned back. He knew he shouldn't walk to her house, but he HAD to. He HAD to see her, to talk to her. He HAD to know what was wrong. So the reasonable part of his brain could yell at him all it wanted, but his anger and frustration pushed it aside and tuned it out.

He clenched his fists and paced up and down her porch stairs. He couldn't stay still. He'd lost sense of time. How long had he been standing there? Five minutes? An hour? It didn't really matter he decided. He'd stand there until she came home. She'd have to come home eventually.

Ellie pulled out her phone and dialed Craig's cell number. She ambled slowly down the sidewalk, biting her bottom lip. Half of her wanted him to pick up so she could find him and talk to him, get it over with. The other half wanted him to never answer. Then she could put off the conversation that was sure to break Craig's heart. She shook her head. How had she gotten him tangled into her messy love life? It had been a mistake. And it was her fault. And now she'd have to break her friend's heart because of it. "Hello?" Damn, he'd picked up. "El?"

"Hi Craig," she said. She wanted to say more, but was unsure of what to say to him.

"Ellie, where are you? Are you ok?" He sounded caught up and hysterical. It struck fear into her.

"I'm fine. Where are you? I'm gonna come meet you."

"I'm at your house. El are you sure you're ok?"

"I'm fine Craig. Are _you_ ok?" She asked, quickening her pace.

"I'm fine now that you called me." There was something off about his voice, something that worried her, made her feel sick. She quickened her pace even more. She needed to be there, needed to see him and make sure he was ok.

"Okay, Craig, I'll see you soon." She said, hanging up the phone, practically running towards her home.

Sean walked around his apartment. He wanted to sit down, but was too antsy to do so. He was just so excited. Happiness wasn't for the idle. He paced around his apartment fighting the urge to jump up and down. While walking by the counter in the kitchen, something caught his eye. It was a key: Ellie's house key. "Crap," Sean muttered. She'd need this to get into her home. He grabbed it from the counter and headed for the door, picking up his gray hoodie as he did. He slid it on and closed is apartment door. He'd just go to her house and wait for her to get home. Then they could spend some time together as their first official night back as a couple. Sean smiled at the thought.

Ellie could see Craig waiting on the porch. She tried to slow her pace down so that he wouldn't notice that she was running. She continually slowed until she was walking up the front steps and standing a couple of feet away from Craig. "Hi," she whispered.

"El, I'm so glad you're here. I was starting to get worried about you. God you're so beautiful. I love you so much." He said reaching forward and running a hand through her red hair. His voice was saturated with desperation. And something about the look he gave…he looked almost psychotic. Ellie knew that Craig was bipolar. But she'd never known what he was like when he wasn't on his meds. But as she took in Craig's distressed face, she began to think that's what she was facing. She swallowed hard, not wanting to break the news even more now.

"Listen Craig," She started her voice soft and gentle.

"What's wrong?!" He practically shouted, causing Ellie to wince in fear.

"Nothing, Craig, calm down."

"El, nothing good ever starts with Listen Craig! Now WHAT'S WRONG?!" He screamed. Ellie winced again and took a step back. She inhaled sharply and exhaled a few times before looking at Craig again. "I'm sorry El. I didn't mean to yell at you. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me." He said, looking like a sad puppy that had been kicked. His eyes were wide and held a corrupted innocence of sorts. It took her breath away.

"Craig, I'm so sorry." She said. She didn't know what else to say or how to start.

"You don't have to be sorry El. You said you wanted to take things slow and I pushed you further than you wanted to go. I'm sorry. Can you please forgive me? PLEASE?" She sighed. He thought she was talking about her leaving.

"No Craig. I'm sorry." Craig looked at her and felt his anger starting to rise.

"For what?" He practically spit. His eyes narrowed in suspicion.

Ellie bit her bottom lip again and looked down at the ground before bringing her eyes to meet Craig's again. "Ellie what did you do?" He whispered, his nose starting to snarl up in anticipation of what she was going to say. He knew it wouldn't be good. Ellie let a moment of silence pass between them as she worked the nerve up to say what needed to be said.

"I kissed Sean Cameron."

Sean called Emma. "Hey Sean," she answered.

"Emma…she's in love with me." That was all he said. And that was all Emma needed to hear. She knew exactly who he was talking about. She smiled to herself.

"Did she come see you?"

"Yeah, she came by tonight."

"So what about her and Craig?"

"She left a little bit ago to go talk to him and break up with him."

"Poor Craig."

"Yeah, I feel bad for him. I know what it feels like to lose her, and I'd never wish that on anyone."

"So what are you doing now?"

"I'm on my way to her house. She left her key at my place." Sean heard a knock over the phone.

"Hold on Sean. I gotta get that." He could hear Emma on the line still. "Oh hi Mr. Jeremiah. No I haven't see Craig. What's wrong? He's what…."

"Emma? Emma what's wrong?" Sean asked, growing worried.

"Sean," she breathed into the phone. "Craig's off his meds."

"What?"

"Joey's looking for Craig. He said he came home and Craig's room was completely trashed. Joey thinks he's off the pills and is having an episode. Sean, you need to find Ellie right now. Craig's not safe to be around right now. When they diagnosed Craig, it was after he'd trashed a hotel room and beaten up Joey. He could be dangerous."

"Thanks Em." Sean hung up and immediately dialed Ellie's number.

Craig could even begin to process what she'd just said. He just stood there, immobile. Ellie exhaled deeply, waiting for Craig's response. He turned around and paced around on the porch for a minute, while anxiety ate away at her. Finally he came to stand in front of her and looked at her, his eyes watery. "You what?"

"I'm in love with him Craig. I'm sorry, but I never got over loving Sean really, and I don't think I ever will. And I'm sorry that I had to hurt you in the process of figuring that out. I never wanted to hurt you. I never meant for it to happen like this. I'm so sorry."

"No El, we'll be fine. We'll be fine. We can pretend like this never happened and we can just continue on." He was shaking. It made Ellie nervous. She took a step back.

"Craig," she said softly, "it's over. I can't be with you. It's not fair to you and it's not fair to me or Sean. I'm sorry. I didn't want it to end this way, but – "

"BUT I LOVE YOU ELLIE! I WOULD NEVER HURT YOU! I DON'T UNDERSTAND! I LOVE YOU! SEAN CHEATED ON YOU EL! HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOU! HE NEVER WILL! HE'LL NEVER LOVE YOU LIKE I WILL! ELLIE I DON'T UNDERSTAND!"

She could hear her phone going off. She wanted to reach for it.

"IS THAT HIM?"

"I don't know Craig. Please, stop screaming." She asked, looking around.

"DID YOU SLEEP WITH HIM?"

"NO!" Her phone went off again.

"Who the hell keeps calling you?!" Craig demanded. Ellie didn't move, didn't speak, didn't say anything. "Give me the phone El."

"Craig, I don't think that's really necessary."

"GIVE ME THE PHONE!" Ellie took the phone out of her pocket and handed it to Craig. He answered the phone and Ellie held her breath.

"Ellie?!" Sean yelled into the phone. "Ellie?! Are you there? Listen, don't find Craig. He's off his pills and he's really unstable right now!"

"I'M NOT UNSTABLE!" Craig yelled into the phone.

"Craig, where's Ellie?" But Craig just hung up the phone and tossed Ellie's phone to the ground.

"Just answer me one question. Why him El? WHY HIM?! WHAT DOES HE HAVE THAT I DON'T?"

"Craig, it's just not that simple. Sean was the first guy I loved, and the only guy I've ever really been in love with."

"So you didn't even care about me at all?"

"No, Craig. I did. It's complicated."

"I DON'T BELIEVE YOU! I DON'T THINK YOU CARED AT ALL!" Craig had inched forward and they were so close. "WHY EL? WHY?" Then he grabbed her arms and began to shake her. "WHY EL? TELL ME WHY? WHY? WHY?!" Ellie was crying.

"Please stop Craig. Stop. You're hurting me."

"YOU HURT ME!"

Suddenly someone appeared. Ellie could see their body moving in the corner of her eye. She wasn't sure what was happening, but Craig let her go and she fell on her knees to the porch, still crying. She heard the thud of a fist connecting with someone's body. Then she watched as Craig fell to the porch beside her. She gasped and took a few shaky breaths. She felt a hand on her arm. She jerked away, her body shaking. "El, El it's me." She recognized Sean's voice and leaned into him, sobbing into his shoulder. "It's ok. I'm here. I'm here." Ellie wrapped her arms around his neck and just cried, her salty tears connecting with Sean's skin causing it to tingle.

"Sean, I was so scared." She whispered.

"Me too El. Me too."

Joey showed up a little later. Sean had called Emma and told her where they were. "Ellie, I'm so sorry." He repeated himself several times as he and Sean loaded the unconscious Craig into the car. "I'm so sorry. Craig didn't mean it. When he wakes up, he's going to feel terrible about it. We'll get him to the hospital and he'll get his pills and he'll be fine. But I'm so sorry. I'm sorry he hurt you." Joey apologized a few more times and then drove Craig to a hospital.

Ellie packed her bag and walked back to Sean's apartment with him, his arm wrapped around her. Once they got there, she quickly changed into her pajamas. "Here, you should get some sleep El. You've had a long night." She nodded and stood in the doorway to the bedroom.

"Will you come lay down with me. I don't wanna be alone." Sean nodded and took her hand, leading her into the bedroom. They just lay there, staring at each other, hands intertwined. "I love you Sean Cameron," Ellie whispered in the darkness.

"I love you too Eleanor Nash." She couldn't help but smile.

"Don't call me that," she playfully said. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it.

"I love you Ellie Nash. Was that better?"

"Much better. It has a ring to it you know." Sean smiled and kissed her lightly. He lay there and watched her. She watched him too until she lulled off into a much needed sleep.

"I love you Ellie Nash," he whispered to her sleeping form.


	23. Chapter 23: Goodnight Goodnight

Chapter 23: Goodnight Goodnight

It was cold and dark when she opened her eyes. But it wasn't just any kind of darkness, it was the kind that you couldn't see two inches in front of your face. It instantly made her feel claustrophobic as she rubbed her arms in an attempt to warm up. She was laying down on the ground and didn't know whether to try and get up or just continue laying there. She decided to get up and try to find her way out of the darkness, but she was unsure of her surroundings. She pushed off the freezing concrete ground that was below her and shakily stood. She reached her hands out in front of her waving them all around as she took a step forward, not wanting to hit something. She had no idea where she was. She tried to remember the last place she'd been, but her head hurt and the past was blurry.

She didn't know how far she'd gone before she noticed a sprinkle of light from ahead. She moved quickly for it, trying to hurry up. She felt like the darkness was closing in on her, making her anxiety level rise. She reached what felt like a door and thrust it open. It was lighter here. Don't get her wrong, it was still dark, but she could make out the outline of furniture pieces. The layout of the room didn't feel familiar, making her more confused about where she was and why she was there. Suddenly she noticed a shadowy figure standing on the other side of the room. "Hello?" She called. She began moving toward the figure. The closer she got to the figure, the clearer his image became. "Sean!" She called out relieved. But Sean didn't say anything. He didn't even acknowledge her. "Sean? What's going on?" It unnerved Ellie that Sean wasn't speaking to her. Something was wrong, really wrong. She walked quickly, but the closer she got to Sean, the more certain she became that something was wrong. Sean turned away from her. She grabbed the corner of his gray jacket and pulled him around, but it wasn't Sean anymore. It was Craig. Ellie let go of what had now morphed into his black jacket. She gasped and stepped backwards, her body instinctively shaking.

Craig grabbed her and shook her violently, causing her to fall to her knees. "WHAT ELLIE, AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?! HUH! WHERE'S SEAN NOW? HE'S NOT HERE TO PROECT YOU!" He screamed at her and shook her. Tears sprung to her eyes as she tossed and turned trying to escape Craig's grip, but it was too strong. Pain seared through her body and she could barely breathe. She was gasping, gasping, gasping –

Ellie jolted upright in bed, gasping for air. Her eyes flashed blindly all around the room, trying to take in her surroundings. She sighed in relief. She was in Sean's apartment, sleeping. It had all been a dream, just a dream. She looked over and found Sean sleeping next to her. She tried to lay back and go back to sleep, but she was wired up. Adrenaline pumped through her body and her mind raced through different thoughts. She was scared to go back to sleep, scared to dream again. She felt tears spring to her eyes. Ellie looked over at Sean and silently got up.

She slunk to the bathroom and sat down on the floor against the door. She held her head in her hands and cried. Tears rolled down her cheeks freely and her body started to shake a little bit. The anxiety was becoming overwhelming. Ellie couldn't live like this. She couldn't stay in this state. She opened the bathroom cabinet and pulled the first sharp object she could find. She placed it against her skin and pushed until she felt the skin break. A small bubble of blood floated to the top. Ellie sighed as she lengthened the cut. Relief flooded through her and she leaned her head against the wall.

"El, what are you doing?" Sean's voice came crashing through her ears and the sound of metal clanging to the floor settled between them. Ellie exhaled sharply, caught off guard. She didn't say anything. She didn't have too. It was pretty obvious what she was doing. They stared at each other in an uncomfortable silence. She wanted to say something to break it, but words failed her. "I thought you stopped doing that." He said, looking away from her. He looked almost disappointed, which hurt more than anything.

"I did." She whispered.

"It doesn't look like it." He said, finally looking back at her, annoyance written on his face.

"I only do it every once in a while."

"And that makes it okay?" He shot back quickly.

"I only do it when I can't handle the stress. I did stop, and then you left, and my mom started drinking again, and I couldn't always burden Marco with everything. He has a life too, and it's not his job to sit and baby me every time I have a problem!" Ellie could feel a twinge of anger rising in her.

"So you'd risk your life for a little stress relief? You know there are other ways El, like taking a walk or listening to music! It doesn't always require bodily harm!" The way he looked at her, it made her uncomfortable. It made her hurt. It felt like he was looking down at her disdainfully. That made the anger rise in her even faster.

"Don't you dare judge me Sean! You didn't judge me on that rooftop the day we met! So don't you dare do it now!" She yelled, her nose crinkling with irritation.

"Yeah? Well I have more to lose now!" His voice got louder too. He was practically yelling at her too.

Ellie scoffed at him, rolling her eyes. "Oh yeah? And what could you possibly have to lose now?"

"You," he said softly. Just like that all the anger had evaporated. He exhaled sharply. "I don't wanna lose _you_. You mean too much to me."

"Sean you're not gonna lose me. I wanna be here with you. It's not like I'm trying to kill myself."

"Yeah, but by cutting you always run the risk. It could be an accident or something, I don't know. I just can't stomach the idea of you hurting yourself. It makes me feel sick. I just…I love you El." He walked from the door way to where she sat in the bathroom floor and bent down beside her. He cupped her face. "Promise me El. Promise me right now that you'll never scare me like that again. Promise me you'll stop."

She looked down at the cut and the blood. It wasn't much, but she couldn't stand the idea of hurting Sean. The thought of him hurting hurt her. "I promise." They kissed gently.

"Good, now let's get this cleaned up." He said, nodding to the cut on her arm.

There was frantic knocking at the door. Sean rushed to the door, motivated by the sense of urgency in the knocks. Marco stood at the door, almost shaking. "Sean! Sean! Where is she?!" He frantically asked.

"Marco? Marco, I'm right here." Ellie said, coming toward the doorway. Marco pushed past Sean and hugged her tightly.

"Oh my God El, I'm so glad to see you. Are you ok? How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine Marco. I'm okay. What's wrong?"

"Me and Jimmy went to Craig's house for band practice. Joey told us what happened. I just wanted to make sure you're ok. Are you okay?"

Ellie glanced at Sean quickly and couldn't help but smile slightly. Then she looked back to Marco, who was staring at her intently. "Yeah, I'm okay now."

Marco sighed, visibly relieved. "You really scared me there Ellie Nash. Don't you ever do that again!" Ellie laughed lightly at Marco, before an idea caught her attention.

"Marco, how did you know I was here and not at home?" Marco's face grew serious. "Marco, what's wrong?" Ellie asked, widening her eyes, her voice low and grave.

"Well, I sort of went to your house first, but you weren't there. So I figured that if you weren't there, you had to be here." Ellie sighed, relieved. She nodded and opened her mouth to say something, but Marco cut her off. "But El, your mom is looking for you."

Ellie's face dropped and after the second it took for her to process the information, she reacted. She turned around and ran around the apartment, frantically grabbing her stuff. She through it all in a bag, trying to make everything fit in an unorganized manner, but it wouldn't settle in like she needed it too. Finally she zipped the bag shut and through it over her shoulder, nodding at Marco that they should go. They both headed for the door, but Sean grabbed her arm, stopping her. She almost looked scared.

"Hey, do you think it's a good idea to go see your mom. I mean, from what I've seen and heard she doesn't seem very stable. I don't want her to hurt you again."

Ellie shrugged. "It's probably not, but she's my mom. And she's looking for me. So I have to go." She turned to leave again and heard the sound of keys jingling as Sean grabbed them from the couch.

"Then I'm coming with you." Ellie was touched that Sean would go with her even though Mrs. Nash and Sean didn't really like each other. Ellie had a momentary flashback to the time when her mother had slapped him in front of all of their friends. She cringed and was brought back to the present where Sean was standing in front of her holding his keys.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" She asked, mimicking his words. He shrugged, mimicking her actions.

"Probably not, but you're still the love of my life. And you need me. So I'm coming with you." Ellie smiled, blushed, and nodded, linking their hands before turning back to Marco, who was standing in the doorway.

"Are you two lovebirds ready to go now?" He smiled.

Ellie rolled her eyes and nodded. "Yeah we are."

The drive to Ellie's house was quiet, with a heaviness setting in on the three friends. Ellie and Sean set up front, hands still intertwined. Ellie was nervous and Sean could feel her heart pulsing through the skin of her hand. He pulled it to his lips and kissed it. "Hey, everything's gonna be alright." She looked at him, but was unsure of whether or not to buy into his words. They pulled up to Ellie's home and the door to the house was open. Ellie could see her mom as she ran out into the yard. "Eleanor!" She shouted, frantically running to the car. Ellie sighed and opened up the door.

"I'm right here mom." Her mother threw her arms around her and held her close. Her mother was crying.

"Eleanor! Where have you been?! I've been so worried." The car door slammed shut as Sean and Marco got out. Ellie's mother looked up and her eyes landed directly on Sean's face. "YOU!" She pointed. "How dare you show up here? Why am I not surprised that you're the one who's keeping my daughter away! It's all your fault!" Ellie's mom had moved toward Sean, yelling the words with venom at him.

"Mom," Ellie tried to stop her mother, "it's not Sean's fault. Sean saved me. If he hadn't been there, I could've been seriously hurt."

"What are you talking about Eleanor?! All I know is that I've come home the past few days to find my daughter not home. I figured you were coming home late at night, BUT I take it that's not what's been going on here!"

Sean stepped up towards Ellie's mom, pulling Ellie to him, away from her mother. "She's been gone because she doesn't feel safe here!"

Her mother gasped and looked taken aback. "HOW DARE YOU? SHE'S MY DAUGHTER! I KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR HER! I WOULD NEVER HURT HER!"

"You already have," he replied curtly. Ellie shook her head, knowing what Sean was about to do. He took her hand and kissed it before revealing the almost healed pink line where Ellie had been cut by the bottle her mother had thrown at her. Mrs. Nash's face crinkled and she turned away disturbed.

"Are you cutting again?"

"I have cut. I want to cut." Her mother turned back to her, teary-eyed and visibly upset. Sean cleared his throat.

"But, funny thing is, Ellie didn't do that. She showed up at my door, bleeding, after you'd THROWN A GLASS BOTTLE AT HER! SHE GOT THAT CUT AFTER IT SHATTERED." His voice had risen with every word until he was screaming at her. Mrs. Nash looked from Sean to Ellie to the healed cut.

"But I would never throw – Eleanor did I?"

Ellie looked away, which was all the verification that her mother needed. She began to cry hysterically, hugging Ellie. "I promise I'll be better! I promise I'll get better. I'll do the whole treatment thing. I promise. I just love you so much! I'm so sorry." Ellie held her mom close while she shook and cried.

Eventually her mother quieted down and agreed that Ellie should stay with Sean while she sought treatment. Ellie agreed, feeling hope for her relationship with her mom for the first time in a long time.

When Ellie and Sean got back to his apartment, she was exhausted. All she wanted to do was lie down and sleep off the wearisome day she'd had. She went to the bedroom and lay down and buried her head in the pillow. "Hey El," Sean said from the doorway.

"Yeah," she mumbled through the fabric of the pillow case.

"I'll be in there in a minute. I'm gonna take a shower."

"Okay sweetie." She heard Sean's footfalls to the bathroom.

"Hey Sean," she called. He was back in the doorway in just a minute.

"Yeah?"

She sat up on the bed. "I love you. Thanks for going with me today."

"El, you don't have to thank me. I'll go anywhere with you. I love you so much. You're the love of my life."

"I love you so much. I'm so lucky to have you in my life." She got up and kissed him.

"Okay, I'll see you in a few minutes." He said. She nodded and he went to the bathroom.

She lay back down on the bed to wait for Sean when she noticed her phone beeping. She had a message. She clicked on it to see who it was from and almost dropped her phone. Anxiety began flooding through her body as she recognized the number as Craig's. She didn't want to know what he had to say. The thought of Craig still unnerved her, but she couldn't help but click the message. Maybe she did wanna hear what he had to say.

"Hey, El. It's…it's Craig. I was just calling because I wanted you to know how sorry I am about what happened. I was off my pills. I wasn't me. I never meant for that to happen to you. So I'm gonna sing you something that I think sums up my feelings."

"_You left me hanging from a thread we once swung from together.  
I've lick my wounds but I can't ever see them getting better.  
Something's gotta change  
Things cannot stay the same._

Her hair was pressed against her face, her eyes were red with anger,  
Enraged by things unsaid and empty beds and bad behavior.  
Something's gotta change  
It must be rearranged, oh…

I'm sorry, I did not mean to hurt my little girl.  
It's beyond me, I cannot carry the weight of the heavy world.  
So goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight  
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight  
Goodnight, hope that things work out all right, yeah  
Whoa.

The room was silent as we all tried so hard to remember  
The way it feels to be alive  
The day that he first met her.  
Something's gotta change  
Things cannot stay the same.

You make me think of someone wonderful, but I can't place her.  
I wake up every morning wishing one more time to face her.  
Something's gotta change  
It must be rearranged, oh…

I'm sorry, I did not mean to hurt my little girl.  
It's beyond me, I cannot carry the weight of a heavy world.  
So goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight  
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight  
Goodnight, hope that things work out all right.

So much to love,  
So much to learn,  
But I won't be there to teach you. Oh  
I know I can be close  
But I try my best to reach you.

I'm so sorry, I did not mean to hurt my little girl.  
It's beyond me, I cannot carry the weight of a heavy world.  
So goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight  
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight  
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight  
Goodnight, hope that things work out all right, yeah  
Whoa, oh…  
Yeah." 

"So yeah, I'm sorry Ellie. I hope you can find it in you to forgive me. And I know it probably doesn't matter now, but I love you."

The message ended and Ellie exhaled sharply, a tear rolling down her cheek. She deleted the message and threw her phone on top of her bag on the other side of the room. She wasn't ready to forgive Craig yet. It was too soon.


	24. Note To Readers

Dear readers, I promise I haven't forgotten the story. I am still working on it. I've had some writer's block. But i've found a direction that I like. So I'll try and get it done, but my homework level is pretty severe right now. So I'll do my best to get you an update this weekend. It's long overdue.


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